Re: Miserable People

noodleann · ‎06-10-2015

@Foxxee wrote:
Quite a few reasons why people behave this way.

It's usually caused by frustration, depression, unhappiness, anxiety, fear, or lack of sleep.

It also may be learned behavior from one or both parents in childhood. I wondered why someone I knew was so negative until I met his parents. Like father, like son.

Never would have thought of lack of sleep being a factor in someone's negativity, but I bet you're right.

I'd add pain and chronic indigestion to the list.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

'Funny'.........sometimes the more we ignore them, the more they try harder............

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

EatWell · ‎12-31-2012

@ROMARY wrote:
I've finally figured out that some people really cannot help themselves. Or they don't want to.

What's normal to them almost always cannot be changed by themselves. Or anyone else.

I think of the many nice, gentle people. It's a natural state of mind. Most likely they cannot change themselves into being 'mean'.

Same with others who aren't so nice. It would be difficult to change themselves into being 'nice'. It's just not in their M.O.

@ROMARY

Sour on what life has dealt them?

A curmudgeon?

Side effects of medication?

"Staying safe by staying home"

~Put food in front of me, and I will eat it.~.

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

If someone is constantly being nasty and miserable, I would limit my contact with them.

If it was an acquaintance, I would stop hanging around them.

If it's a relative...depending on the situation and your relationship, I would do occasional calls and only group visits so you aren't stuck as a captive audience....you can get up and take a break with a different person. On a call, you can just end it when it goes downhill..."Oh, I have to charge my phone" or whatever.

I would never totally cut a family member out of my life (unless they did something heinous)...but would definitely consider limited access.

As others have said, adults aren't going to change their personalities at that stage of life. If we want close relationships in our lives, we have to do our part to make them work. If someone won't do that....they become the family's "Duty Relative" who is only visited or invited when it is necessary, not because people enjoy their company.

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

I know someone who usually has something negative to say when I'm happy about something. If I email her about something I'm happy about, she'll either ignore the email, say something sarcastic, or try to minimize it.

I suspect she's like that with others as well.

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

@Daisy Sunflower wrote:

I know someone who usually has something negative to say when I'm happy about something. If I email her about something I'm happy about, she'll either ignore the email, say something sarcastic, or try to minimize it.

I suspect she's like that with others as well.

That is so mean for your acquaintance to do. 🙁

mspatmac · ‎06-10-2015

There is one person in our small group that is always negative unless it's her idea or you agree with her. What's worse, she always interjects into the conversation with a snarky smart ****** comment when no input from her is necessary. I avoid her as much as possible. Unfortunately we have some posters who are much like her and I avoid them too.

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

There's probably people on this forum who are considered the miserable ones in the family

aroc3435 · ‎09-30-2010

@VenturaHighway Yes, I worked with a woman for 30 of my 35 years who usually was negative. She is still working there and has not changed and must be at least 5 years older than I am.

She was an excellent employee in terms of getting her work done, and done well, but always "put in the knock" by not knowing how or when to keep quiet. Very rare for her to say anything positive in a staff meeting, or in general. Also had a very loud voice that carried.

Since I have a high level of tolerance for people, and am flexible, they usually put her "cubicle" very near me. As far as it went, I liked her and knew some of her complaints had validity, but she would fixate on something that would not or could not be changed.

Fortunately, when I was concentrating on performing customer service or one of my many research projects I could "tune" her out.

It was sad that her many good points were hidden by her bitterness about so many things. I do not think she will ever change.

aroc3435