Community Chat

[NicksmomESQ]

  I'm convinced that some people love being miserable.And really enjoy making others miserable too. I've had a neighbor for the past 30 years. This woman has never said anything nice about anybody. She is an attractive well off widow with money.Yet she acts like she was dealt a terrible hand .

  Her number of friends are dwindling because no one wants to be around her.She yells at people for no reason. Makes unreasonable demands on people who owe her nothing.She constantly complains etc. etc.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

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@VenturaHighway wrote:

I have a close  family member that nevr sees good in anything. And  negative views about everything.

No matter what I say or do, she is mean and hateful.  I know that I can't change anyone but it is sad that people feel this way.

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And some of them are posting on this board.

[alicedee]

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@Daisy Sunflower wrote:

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@alicedee wrote:

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That is so mean for your acquaintance to do.  🙁

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She's not an aquaintance, she's a relative.

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@Daisy Sunflower wrote:

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@alicedee wrote:

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That is so mean for your acquaintance to do.  🙁

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She's not an aquaintance, she's a relative.

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Aw, that makes it harder.  We want to believe that family wants good things for us.  I am sorry you deal with that, and for all who have difficult people in their lives.

[jeanlake]

Lots of good advice given; smart people on this forum. I do think a negative mindset is learned behavior -- for the most part. Dr. Daniel Amen wrote a book about ANTs in the Brain - Automatic Negative Thoughts. We have 40k thoughts a day that buzz by us. How we respond to stimuli is up to us alone. Some people simply have ANTs in their brians. They will personally need to do the work to change.

Which flows into my next thought -- There are good books out there about setting personal boundaries. We've all had to set boundaries to protect ourselves and we do it because we respect ourselves. None of this stuff is enjoyable or easy but you'll find it will be rewarding. I am sorry this dark energy is directed at you.    

[SandySparkles]

People are not born miserable and bitter-they become miserable and bitter. I have been on the receiving end of mean spirited people more times than I care to remember, and  often wonder what life events occurred to cause them to have such anti-social personalities. 

I suppose it doesn't matter at the end of the day, but makes it easier for me to just proceed with compassion, and let them be on their way. Although there was a time...😁

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

[VenturaHighway]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. This is my sister-in-law. 

[DiAnne]

I think a lot of that is because they were not taught "manners" growing up.  Manners may not be the proper word but I was always taught to think before I speak.  Not to get angry at people  who were rude but you should feel sorry for them because they did not know any better.  I could go on and on about things my parents and grandparents preached.  People who are negative all the times if possible I stay away from but if you are related to them I guess you can't - that is not really a problem in my family because we were all raised the same.  

[AngelPuppy1]

@VenturaHighway 

Unfortunately some people are negative about everything.  They refuse to see the good in people and refuse to appreciate all the good things they have in their lives.  It's a very sad way to live and I feel very sorry for people who are this way.  However, it is very, very trying to have such a person in your life.  With all that is going on in the world today, it's often difficult to maintain a positive attitude.  I would guess that you have tried talking to this person and asking him or her if there is anything in particular that is distressing them and if there is anything that you could do to help them feel better about what it is? Maybe if you had a really frank discussion with this person and just said --- you know I really care about you, but your constant negativity is very hard to be around all the time and it's bringing me down as well.  Couldn't we try to dwell on a more positive side of things and see if this doesn't make you feel better and me?  

[Still Raining]

Long ago I was given the advice to take a breath, ask myself if an adult would act this like, detach, and move the conversation on.  With detachment being the most important element.  It works.

[Peaches McPhee]

I definitely try to avoid such people, but that is not always possible.  I also try to think of them with pity.  How terrible must their lives be if they are always negative, irritated, and petty?  They must be so hard on the inside.