Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,763
Registered: ‎12-10-2016

I know we all are going through rough and difficult times but we really don't have a choice at this point.


I have a close  family member that never sees good in anything. And  negative views about everything.


No matter what I say or do, she is mean and hateful.  I know that I can't change anyone but it is sad that people feel this way.


Thought someone else may have the same problem. 



Valued Contributor
Posts: 677
Registered: ‎03-09-2010


I find when a person is "negative nilly" I distance myself from them. Otherwise, it wears on me. 


I knew 2 people like that & they made nice times, bummers!  I just don't think they could help themselves.  They are both deceased now & life being so miserable for them while here, I believe they're in a happier place now.  Heart

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,033
Registered: ‎08-19-2018

I don't have anyone, personally close to me, like this, but, I'm in the medical field, an RD.  

I've unfortunately, had a few patients, that fit the description.  

It's tough, because that attitude only makes things harder!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,303
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Yep. Spent the day with family. My elderly aunt. has always been this way and has no reason to change. Everything is negative unless it's about her- then it's perfect.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 24,113
Registered: ‎01-08-2011

@VenturaHighway Sweetheart, they chose the way they go.  It is not our right to change them, as it is not their right to change us.  Close the door and go in peace.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,366
Registered: ‎10-03-2014

Quite a few reasons why people behave this way. 


It's usually caused by frustration, depression, unhappiness, anxiety, fear, or lack of sleep.


It also may be learned behavior from one or both parents in childhood.  I wondered why someone I knew was so negative until I met his parents.  Like father, like son.  





Regular Contributor
Posts: 166
Registered: ‎11-14-2017

@VenturaHighway - you don't need this kind of negativity now or ever. Try to ignore people like that. Stay well and just try to be with folks who are upbeat! 💗

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,941
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Some people are only happy when they are complaining. It is their hobby. They could change but they don't want to.

Confucius says don’t listen to a tolerance lecture from a bully.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,671
Registered: ‎12-07-2012

Did someone call me??  Woman LOL


Seriously, my father was the most miserable person ever.  Plus, wanted to make everyone around him miserable fueled by alcohol.  It's pretty bad when both of his sisters said (after he passed) "Maybe your mother can have a better life now".


I come from a huge family, and it started to get weird at his wake when couisins came up to offer their condolences and were at a total loss of anything nice to say.


I started taking the lead saying "Hey, hopefully he's in a better place now."


Worked wonders. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,007
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

I've finally figured out that some people really cannot help themselves.  Or they don't want to.


What's normal to them almost always cannot be changed by themselves.  Or anyone else.


I think of the many nice, gentle people.  It's a natural state of mind.  Most likely they cannot change themselves into being 'mean'.


Same with others who aren't so nice.  It would be difficult to change themselves into being 'nice'.  It's just not in their M.O.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).