Community Chat

[jeanlake]

Hubs retired in January and we traveled for the month of January. He was in AZ for 10 days in February and NYC to help my daughter move to Newark. He's been so busy and all of that came to a halt. Extrover to my introvert. I'm home from work until June 1 - maybe. Who knows? He loves the people. That's what we call it. I'm adjusting better than he is to isolation. Working on projects and spring weather gets him out in the yard and flower gardens, which he loves. We're still speaking and will make it to 42 years. Best guess. Thanks for asking. Best to all - stay healthy. 

[msgb]

We have always spent quite a bit of time together. My husband is now fortunate to be able to work from home. I am not working (due to a health issue--not related to this). 

[AuntG]

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@Grouchomarx wrote:

We get a little crazy on the weekend, as our joy in life was eating out Friday and Saturday and now we're stuck at home, I have to cook and clean a lot. He copes by playing sudoku and napping a lot. I am watching more Netflix and taking on small organizing projects. We are grateful to stil be healthy and same for our families, but the mental health toll is great. So much constant worry and stress and fear of what the next day will bring. We are also drinking much more wine to relax our minds. Watching TMZ daily is also helpful as it is frivolous and funny.  He goes to bed way before me so I get to watch all my shows uninterrupted at night, and that is my peace.

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Agree with you @Grouchomarx about missing weekend dining out and drinks made by a professional bartender. Since DH's job requires him to be there, we are together on weekends only. Having two TV's helps because he watches sports reruns which don't hold my interest. All in all, us two introverts are doing fine.

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[Free2be]

I recommend doing individually what interests each of you that takes up quiet time and satisfies a sense of accomplishment or pleasure.  Reading, puzzles, crafts, organizing, cleaning, whatever you can find to do.

Also, talk.  Talk like you are interested in what the other has been thinking about, what concerns there may be, or about past experiences that were funny.  Find things to laugh about.  You might learn something new about each other.  Remember why you fell in love and nurture that.

Is there space for him to start seedlings indoors?  Plan his garden now.  I'm not a gardner but it seems like that would be a fun thing to do. 

[SuhseK]

I'm not sure why your husband, couldn't still garden? 

I'm not aware of any place that has told people that they can't go outside,as long as they're not gathering in groups.  
Just as a for instance, people still walk their dogs, still go for walks. 

Weather permitting, maybe hubby getting outside, getting fresh air, gardening, would help you both.  

[suzyQ3]

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@ID2 wrote:

Maybe you are the only one. My marriage is thriving. We've been retired for 5 years. We get along splendidly. Always have, always will. So sorry that you are not happy. 

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And I'm so sorry that you posted such a snippy comment to the OP. I hope it felt good to tell her that she might be the only one.

As @Trinity11 implied, problems adjusting to this new norm are bound to affect many relationships within a family.There is no shame in that, and no one should be shamed for acknowledging it.

[Nancy Drew]

We are going through a cross country move during this. We are fine. Fortunately we are working well together. Moving is a big stresser and add in a road trip with a cat and dog. Oh vey. No fights so far.

[Tessa Mendoza]

Being together in the house 24/7 is not easy for anyone, be it friends, family or couples, unless they have their own space to retreat to now and then and, hopefully, some activity they enjoy independently.

I don't think it's healthy for any couple to spend the entire day in each other's faces under any circumstances.  My husband does have his hobbies around the house and I do mine.  We meet up for dog walks and meals.  Works for us. :  )

I'm sure you are far from alone.  You have plenty of company if people are being honest;.

[mom2four0418]

"Everything that looks too perfect is too perfect to be perfect."  

                                                              Dejan Stojanovic

[Porcelain]

We're getting along pretty well and are grateful to have each other for all kinds of support. I'm glad we're fairly mature people. In my 20s I would not have been as good at this. We've had extra time to dig into some deep conversations, so overall the situation is a net positive at this point.

There's a new topic for conflict though. Groceries snd supplies. And a new level of emotional intensity about it because I'm so afraid of either of us doing anything that could harm us. I'm good at noticing threats and devising workarounds. DH is a let's just get this done person.

The physical threat of getting sick sometimes turns normal mild disagreements about grocery shopping into my taking the position, "This is the way you must do it to save our lives." I have to keep dialing it back and making jokes to not sound like a crazy person. Thank goodness we're used to each other.