Community Chat

[IamMrsG]

I have refrained from joining this topic, but I must address this post:

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@Goldengate8361 wrote:

Girl power is great. More men need to be fired.

As I inject my 2¢ into this thread, it is with full acknowledgment that it is exactly that–my 2¢. Take it or leave it, but don’t expect me to debate it as I will not be pulled into the fray.

When our now nearly forty-year-old child was in the third grade, he and I struggled with his wanting to keep current with his friends. Back then, the slasher movies, chainsaw massacre types, were popular. Our son was not, however, because he was the only one among his peers not allowed to watch them. I distinctly remember explaining to him that what entertains us will eventually be accepted as lifestyle. Sadly, I believe time has proved me somewhat prophetic. <tic>

It is my earnest belief that our whole society is to blame for this shame. The piper must be paid, and the bill has come due for decades of lowered moral standards, acceptance of “anything goes.” In my lifetime, I see it as beginning as far back as the 60s, the time of Free Love. The natural progression went to the acceptance of single parent households (remember when they were called unwed mothers?).  Mode of dress has become increasingly less modest through the decades.  Consider the way the women we've allowed to assume the position of role models present themselves, e.g, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, the Kardashians, etc.   ‘Song’ (I use that term loosely) lyrics, aimed at the younger generation, are filled with references to “hos” and sexual assault.

So that I am not misunderstood, let me say un-categorically that I am in no way dismissing or excusing those guilty of rape or blatant sexual assault. I would gladly personally sentence those to a special place in hell. What I am trying to say is that through the decades, we have all blurred the line between flirtation and harassment. Now we don’t like it, so the pendulum is beginning to swing back the other way. And lives are being ruined in the process by thirty, forty year old memories that were in large part tolerated at the time for fear of being called prudish by the school of popular thought.

I will finish with one more prediction, and I sincerely hope to be wrong. Another area in which our standards have drastically declined is in the valuation of education. Grammar is abominable and excused. Putting together two correct sentences seems to be a challenge, but as long as “u get what I mean,” what’s the big deal?  Without a computer, the simple act of making or giving change is difficult. I could go on with examples, you could probably give your own, but the point is that invoice to pay the piper will come due someday, too.

[Noel7]

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@Q4u wrote:

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@Ms tyrion2 wrote:

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@Q4u wrote:

.... and where is the proof?  Take them at their word?  I'm for firing/arresting anyone (man or woman) who is guilty.  More than one accuser?  Proof in numbers?

I'm just remembering the horrific period of time when teachers at pre-schools were accused of molestation all over this country mainly because the experts told us that these children could not possibly come up with the stories they were telling if they were not true.  Meanwhile reputations were ruined, people fired, arrests made and then....  other "professiionals" said to hold up a minute,  went back into the mire and realized that many of the children were not molested.  It was quite a period.....  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day-care_sex-abuse_hysteria

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Read the OP.

do you need more proof than the man himself admitting to wrongdoing?

Please don't conflate coerced children with adult women .

The incidents are not related at all.

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I'm talking about mass hysteria and it is related.  Of course the ones admitting to wrong doing are guilty,  Never said they weren't  There has to be more to this than just #me too!   

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@Q4u

Batali has admitted his “wrongdoings.”  I don’t see how that makes some of us “man haters.” 

Batali issued a long statement apologizing to his friends. Bourdain, previously a friend of Batali, said he was very upset that women chefs were hurt by Batali.  Does that make Bourdain a “man hater”?

[ROMARY]

Sometimes the behavior is so bizarre (and game-playing childish) that the victim knows that she/he wouldn't be believed.   That's why some children/tweens/teens (and adults) 'keep quiet'.  Who would believe them?  Think about the recent gymnasts who are now speaking out.  These types of perps. know that most outsiders won't believe the victims.  (There's probably some type of psych. disorder associated with some of those perps.  It would be interesting research.)

[persiflage]

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@qvcaddition wrote:

Now Dustin Hoffman.  Not saying the women is not telling the truth, but forty years ago, at age 15 or 16, why was she going to meet him in a hotel room, because he was Dustin Hoffman a popular movie star?  He was wrong for taking advantage and she for going to a hotel room by herself without her parent present. They were both using one another. Now forty years later they come out.

When I went to a hotel room to meet a man, it wasn't, to discuss the weather.  If it was for a job interview, I met at his place of business.   If his place off business was a hotel room,bring a friend or a parent if you are under age.

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****************************************************************

According to the story the young woman was a friend of his daughter.  She had been to dinner with the daughter and Dustin then they went to his hotel room.  Dustin sent his daughter home and she was waiting for her mother to pick her up.  Bad Dad.

[Addie2118]

Mario Batali also came out against raising the minimom wage. Major sleaze.

[TenderMercies]

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@ID2 wrote:

I have a real problem with women crying about abuse months, even many years later. Why didn't they report it at the time?? They come out now because its "the" thing to do. If I ever was harassed or abused, that guy wouldn't see the light from that day forward. Period.

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@ID2 Because people like you make them feel worse than the experience itself by trying to make them look like the bad ones.  

[magicmoodz]

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@Q4u wrote:

.... and where is the proof?  Take them at their word?  I'm for firing/arresting anyone (man or woman) who is guilty.  More than one accuser?  Proof in numbers?

I'm just remembering the horrific period of time when teachers at pre-schools were accused of molestation all over this country mainly because the experts told us that these children could not possibly come up with the stories they were telling if they were not true.  Meanwhile reputations were ruined, people fired, arrests made and then....  other "professiionals" said to hold up a minute,  went back into the mire and realized that many of the children were not molested.  It was quite a period.....  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day-care_sex-abuse_hysteria

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@Q4u

Can I ask why you feel you deserve to have privy to "the truth"? Do you think these large corporations have not investigated the allegations before terminating the accused.  We don't deserve to know all the slimey details.  I recently heard a pundit say the allegations against Matt Lauer are provable and horrific while at the same time the accuser wants to remain anonymous. 

I believe in justice so if anyone is wrongfully accused, let them sue their former employer in a court of law for millions of dollars so they never have to worry about working again. I anxiously await to see how this will play out for Harold Ford Jr.

If I were accused of something I did not do, you can rest assured I would be screaming from the mountain tops.  I'm not hearing a whole lot of screaming, but rather some pretty lame "that's not how I remember it" type retorts.  

[chickenbutt]

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Noel7 wrote:

Sorry, but I don’t see a woman or a man flirting to get to the top in the same category as assault or rape.

reportedly, Batali was caught on video and had a special room in a restaurant to take women. It was called The Rape Room.  Google brings it up.

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Holy heck!  He always skeeved me out but I never imagined anything like that.   I just always thought he was kind of creepy and looked like he needed a shower and a washing machine for his clothes.   wow

[qvcaddition]

@IamMrsG

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@IamMrsG wrote:

I have refrained from joining this topic, but I must address this post:

---

@Goldengate8361 wrote:

Girl power is great. More men need to be fired.

As I inject my 2¢ into this thread, it is with full acknowledgment that it is exactly that–my 2¢. Take it or leave it, but don’t expect me to debate it as I will not be pulled into the fray.

When our now nearly forty-year-old child was in the third grade, he and I struggled with his wanting to keep current with his friends. Back then, the slasher movies, chainsaw massacre types, were popular. Our son was not, however, because he was the only one among his peers not allowed to watch them. I distinctly remember explaining to him that what entertains us will eventually be accepted as lifestyle. Sadly, I believe time has proved me somewhat prophetic. <tic>

It is my earnest belief that our whole society is to blame for this shame. The piper must be paid, and the bill has come due for decades of lowered moral standards, acceptance of “anything goes.” In my lifetime, I see it as beginning as far back as the 60s, the time of Free Love. The natural progression went to the acceptance of single parent households (remember when they were called unwed mothers?).  Mode of dress has become increasingly less modest through the decades.  Consider the way the women we've allowed to assume the position of role models present themselves, e.g, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, the Kardashians, etc.   ‘Song’ (I use that term loosely) lyrics, aimed at the younger generation, are filled with references to “hos” and sexual assault.

So that I am not misunderstood, let me say un-categorically that I am in no way dismissing or excusing those guilty of rape or blatant sexual assault. I would gladly personally sentence those to a special place in hell. What I am trying to say is that through the decades, we have all blurred the line between flirtation and harassment. Now we don’t like it, so the pendulum is beginning to swing back the other way. And lives are being ruined in the process by thirty, forty year old memories that were in large part tolerated at the time for fear of being called prudish by the school of popular thought.

I will finish with one more prediction, and I sincerely hope to be wrong. Another area in which our standards have drastically declined is in the valuation of education. Grammar is abominable and excused. Putting together two correct sentences seems to be a challenge, but as long as “u get what I mean,” what’s the big deal?  Without a computer, the simple act of making or giving change is difficult. I could go on with examples, you could probably give your own, but the point is that invoice to pay the piper will come due someday, too.

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You wrapped it up in a nutshell.

[Maudlynn]

This began in the 60s? There are just as many women who harass? OMG and LOL. Using your femininity to get promoted is different than harassment, btw. And if women flirted and were subsequently harassed and/or assaulted, it still is not their fault. When a woman says NO or ENOUGH, the harasser needs to back off. I can't believe this has to be pointed out.