Community Chat

[Still Raining]

It can be difficult to gain sole custody. The proof is very high. You should also be aware that if you request the court to judge his fitness that you will also be subjected to the same examination.

[bikerbabe]

As a child who lived in an abusive household I can tell you one way to guarantee anger resentment and dysfunction in your child is to knowingly stay in an abusive marriage. You have to get the child out of that living arrangement. Stay, and your child will resent you as much and possibly more than the father.

[ECBG]

On 3/16/2015 BornAgain said:

Plot and Plan. And get an excellent lawyer.

Excellent advice. I am so sorry anyone has to deal with this.

[missy1]

On 3/18/2015 Still Raining said:

It can be difficult to gain sole custody. The proof is very high. You should also be aware that if you request the court to judge his fitness that you will also be subjected to the same examination.

It can be done. I know. The father still gets visitation, either supervised or not. Very rarely will he get no visitation. The Op has to show/prove that's it's the best interest of the child. Like I said earlier the op husband may agree to her as having sole custody, and not contest it.

There's two types of custody: legal and physical. Legal is where you get to make the major decisions in the child's life. (Health, education, religion etc.) Physical custody is where the child lives, and the other parent has visitation. It can either be a structured schedule or the parents work it out. Younger children usually need more structured times, and teens usually prefer flexible schedules.

Each state has different boxes on the divorce petition. (One box will have sole custody, the other joint custody). If you choose joint custody, usually no abuse can be involved.

[missy1]

On 3/18/2015 bikerbabe said: As a child who lived in an abusive household I can tell you one way to guarantee anger resentment and dysfunction in your child is to knowingly stay in an abusive marriage. You have to get the child out of that living arrangement. Stay, and your child will resent you as much and possibly more than the father.

That's why I said Yorkieonmypillow made some good points, to stay. But on the same token is being an abusive situation in the best interest of the child? The op husband could be fine with his child when he has his custody time. This child is only a year old. I see the op having the most issues with child custody, in her divorce.

[goodstuff]

If you find a good divorce attorney, he/she will advise you on the steps you need to take. Seek references for a good attorney in your area and make an appointment right away. Don't let your husband or son know your plans. It will be helpful if you can take information on bank accounts, yours and your husband's incomes, home value/equity, any debts, monthly expenses, and other financial info with you to the attorney.

[hyacinth003]

On 3/15/2015 ID2 said:

Oh please consult a lawyer with your list of questions!!! Asking housewives on a shopping channel bulletin board is rather....ummm...silly?

You really had to post THAT here?

You added exactly nothing with that comment.

Hyacinth

[jessa]

On 3/15/2015 Hooty said:

I cannot stress more than what other posters have stated ............. get a good attorney that will look out for you and your child interests! My DH is an attorney and cannot stress this more!

^^^^this.......Also do you have people you know well & trust in your real life in friends or family that you can confide in?

WADR posters mean well but we don't know who ANYBODY is here........If their advice is BAD or wrong & you take it those posters aren't there to help in your RL day in & day out after all is said & done.................Please try to find somebody you already know & trust in RL .......I'm so sorry this is happening & just said a prayer for you and your son sbrcal..........

[jessa]

On 3/18/2015 missy1 said:

On 3/18/2015 bikerbabe said: As a child who lived in an abusive household I can tell you one way to guarantee anger resentment and dysfunction in your child is to knowingly stay in an abusive marriage. You have to get the child out of that living arrangement. Stay, and your child will resent you as much and possibly more than the father.

That's why I said Yorkieonmypillow made some good points, to stay. But on the same token is being an abusive situation in the best interest of the child? The op husband could be fine with his child when he has his custody time. This child is only a year old. I see the op having the most issues with child custody, in her divorce.

Women and children can end up badly injured or even be killed if they stay in abusive relationships........I think contacting the support lines & established agencies for advice about that would be a good idea........we have NO idea what this man could do......

[jessa]

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-abused-and-battered-women.htm

Help for Abused and Battered Women: Protecting Yourself and Escaping from Domestic Violence

"Getting out of an abusive or violent relationship isn’t easy. Maybe you’re still hoping that things will change or you’re afraid of what your partner will do if he discovers you’re trying to leave. Whatever your reasons, you probably feel trapped and helpless.

But help is available.

There are many resources available for abused and battered women, including crisis hotlines, shelters—even job training, legal services, and childcare.

You deserve to live free of fear. Start by reaching out.""