Community Chat

[KKJ]

Speaking of friends from high school, I just received letter announcing my 40th high school reunion later this month. Don't think I'll go though. Do any of you attend yout HS reunions?

[Jk9]

I haven't kept in touch with any high school class mates.  I have never been a social person and don't attend reunions or "get together" with co workers.

[patbz]

@KKJ : I went to my 25th, 35th and 50th.  They were fun but my 60th is this Fall and I won't be going ( too depressing; it seems a H.S. portrait pops up about every month's you know what that means...).

[TwinkleBell]

@feline groovy   Great topic!  DEEP topic!!   Reflective topic!!

  . . . . .  (love your moniker!!)

I didnt think I'd had any "lifelong friends".. until, upon reflection:

I realized .... I've had/have 2 "life long friends."  ..

....    (None, even possibly from childhood.)

One I met in college, up North.  After graduation, she accepted a job in Washington DC.  I visited her every 6 wks, (when my boss closed his ofc & went on vacation himself.) 

...  After almost a yr visiting her in DC, on the flight home, I shocked her, when I landed, & called, & said, "I've decided to move to DC."  Shortly after that,  I "got all my ducks in a row," lined up what was supposed to be 1 last nursing job, moved to DC, and lived there for 30 yrs.  LOVED EVERY BLESSED MINUTE IN DC.   EVERY MINUTE!!!   MOST INCREDIBLE 30 yrs of my life!!

We kind of fell away a bit, seeing one another less & less  She met a gal, a subsequent roommate,  with whom she shared a devoted, extraordinary passion with for "Science Fiction." I was busy "working really, really hard," & "playing really, really hard, which she had no interest in, but we still kept in touch... and she kept inching her way moving further South, which I had no interest in, whatsoever!

She passed away Thanksgiving 2015.  She was a crazy, incredible, smart as heck, interesting, special, giving, fun, impish, always, always very kind person,   MUCH more so than me.  She's the glue that held us together!

I hope & pray she's resting in peace, love, & fun.

~

And I met another gal at our workplace in DC; I dated her boss.   Strangely, ..  she, ....  her then husband-to-be #2, ...  + her boss (my b/f), ...  and I would double date all the time, ....  AND attend, as couples, our frequent Work Social Group Trips together.

  One of my last stints as a nurse in those Dark Ages, (before my major career change), I delivered her baby #1,   (when even her husband #2  didnt want to be a part of "something that gross.")        I was able to pull every medical trick, contact.. I knew to give her the most incredible birthing experience I'd ever learned in the field, ... & it turned out to be an amazing, miraculous birthing experience for her. 

She then moved to Florida.  I stayed in DC. 

(She said her baby birth #2, (fr husband #3 in FL)  "was NOTHING like birth #1; it was horrible"   .. heh.. (I didnt tell her that i was a "BOSSY B**** Extraordinaire," for Baby #1,  getting & giving her the BEST of everything that hospital & staff had to offer.)   heh 

... Her husband #3 was NO HELP either!

She's with husband #4, & she has numerous medical disabilities. 

We're still in touch, but its breaking my heart!     She's been "horribly sucked into a cultic environment," "obsessed with one, & only 1 topic,"  unable to engage in ANY conversation, or topic, *whatsoever* ..  other than that *one specific topic!*  (which I wonder is her husband #4's obsession also, cause I don't know what happened to her.  She was NEVER, ever,  even remotely interested in such a topic before!  (I was tho -- she never cared whatsoever!)

..  She SCARES ME during this obsessive time for her... BUT we're on a "keep in touch" (abt any other topic, mostly fr me) pause.. until any other topic can penetrate her life .. I want to be there for her, when that particular obsession BREAKS.. hopefully before she does something crazy & dangerous

... It TOTALLY BREAKS MY HEART, but I have alotta alotta hope!  .. hoping & assuming she'll need help, when she hopefully snaps out of this ....    I want to be there for her then.  not sure I have a lot of faith that husband #4 wld be, or let loose, if that's the issue.. 

~

In both cases, we'd been thru HELL TOGETHER, knowing just about ANY secret, abt one another, & having been thru just abt anything that happens, "the skies the limit"  ... tears & laughs, that two ppl can possibly be, or have.

They were/are both very very very special ppl, incredible ppl ... is a deep deep love I feel for them.  They get the most credit for our special relationship, thru the years!

And, such closeness ..."just happened!"   no planning!

....   I guess that's how it goes.

[phoenixbrd]

@TwinkleBell   What an interesting read.  I couldn't help but wonder how most people have babies and don't get the "pull every trick"  treatment fare.  It leads me to believe that medical care depends on who you know.  Of course, a reality.

[RedTop]

I let go of my oldest school friend several years ago.  Life separated us at the age of 10; we led very different lives and aged into people with little in common.   I also got tired of being "the friend from back home".  

My best friend from high school touches base thru texts occasionally, but we haven't seen each other for over 25 years.  She seems to live for her grandchildren now and I don't relate to that at all.   

I've lost my closest friends from work in the last 2 years, and am down to a small group of 5 work friends I can reach out to.  

[TwinkleBell]

@phoenixbrd   Well, during the last of 8 yrs, I was "burned out" in Nursing... maybe I cared too much! 

Maybe Nurses who last longer in Nursing, dont throw themselves into their Nursing as much as I did.  I still love nursing, but it's not healthy for me, personally.

Parlaying my other college degree major, (which in no way related to Nursing, by any means), wasnt all that easy,  but... by the grace of God, was made to happen.  That change in career was terrific for many many years also! .. and a whole lot more money!

BOTH, were high stress careers.. But I did indeed "burn out."

I was a "work-a-holic" regardless, of either career, my guess.

<added>

Maybe it would have helped her too, to have had more supportive husbands.  Imagine a husband finding it "yucky" about pregnancy & birth, of their own daughter??  :-( 

Apparently, husband #3 wasnt much better at support!  Didn't even attend the hospital, waiting room even ..  from what I understand!

[Katcat1]

@feline groovy    I met my BFF when we were about 4 or 5 years old.  We remained friends when she moved to the suburbs and we sure have the stories to tell.  We are both in our early 70's now so we have known each other for a long time.  I have no family but my BFF includes me for Christmas Eve or Christmas and other holidays if anything is going on.  Her first born daughter is my Godchild and she is a doctor.  Very smart woman.  I have other friends that I have met over the years but only a couple.  I am not into having tons of friends.

If can be difficult at times to have no family but the last time a cousin gave me a ride to the hospital she was afraid I would be asking her for favors, etc. and stopped talking to me.  Really nice, huh?  

[homedecor1]

I have friendships over 50+ years still going strong.  A week never passes we don't chat.  These are true lifetime friendships, including 1 who has "adopted" me as a daughter.  I love this lady more than a mom or more than she will ever know.

Here, ten years ago I made "acquaintances" sadly most have moved, passed away or no longer in the circle.

Right now, my immediate circle of friends are few. I'm much younger, don't golf or hang in our bar (which they do) they are widows who travel, play cards everyday, etc.  -- right now, I feel lonely as it's just spouse & I who truthfully are roommates.  His illness has dampened my lifestyle and honestly, I'm not adjusting well.

Hes focused on things (politics, tv all day) has no interest in what I enjoy.  I really don't know how long I can continue this caregiver job🤷‍♀️--he's become totally dependent on ME!  we hardly speak to each other 24/7 365 is just too much IMO and he doesn't drive anymore so I'm even the chauffeur to all doctor appts 3-5/days a week.  God forbid, I want to go out shopping, dinner (alone), the beach, pool -- he asks how long i'll be🤦‍♀️.  My life is no longer mine☹️☹️☹️

[beach-mom]

@KKJ  - I have been to a few of mine. And I always have fun. I think it was my 10th. My best friend and I brought our DH's, who did not know anyone else. They didn't leave the table all night and talked just to each other. After that we decided we would go without the guys! And we always have fun!

Our graduating class was 250. Last year one of our classmates decided we should get together after being quarantined for so long. It wasn't a special year - she just decided we should do this. It was at a pretty B&B by the water. DH and I went down, even though he stayed in the room and watched football! We just had one night. The dinner was outside, and we were spaced out. Best friend lives right there, so at least we got to spend the evening together. There were about 30 of us. 

So I will always advise people to go if they can. I've met some spouses of classmates that I've really enjoyed meeting too!  

ETA: I met my best friend the day I started at my new school and we walked out to the hockey field together. We didn't live near each other after college graduations (she married after sophomore year), but during college we visited each other's schools (two states away). We were in each other's weddings. We don't live near each other, but we talk a lot and it's just like we live around the corner. We each still call each other our best friend.

 I met my three current closest friends when we were part of a group who loved Longaberger baskets. We've been through many life experiences together since then!