Community Chat

[Greeneyedlady21]

Everyone deals with this issue in their own personal way, just as everyone deals with loss and grief in their own personal way.

What works for one person doesn't work for another. It's best not to be so judgmental. 

[GCR18]

You will reach a point about having stuff in boxes and moving boxes from home to home.  It's the memories that are attached to the stuff.  I took a couple meaningful pieces from my grandparents and display them in my home.  When I pass the items, it makes me think of my childhood.  The rest moved into the thrift store.  I don't even miss it.

[Anonymous032819]

I brought home the boxes of stuff that I want to keep ( for now!), and I MAY have someone who will haul away the rest of the stuff!

My head knows that I'm doing the right thing, but my heart is causing me to have anxiety.

[Deree]

Guess I'm lucky that I have no problem letting go of "things."  An old boyfriend who has been a friend for many years lives in a beautiful house but it's filled with stuff almost to the point of being a hoarding situation.  He claims he has many hobbies and can't help it.  Boy it's a good thing I didn't wind up with him.  I'm a minimalist.

[qualitygal]

@Anonymous032819   Think of it as letting go in the stages you are ready to handle.  I started on the box that's next, due to what year it is. (Some things you keep longer, but others can go.)  I don't have much....but I still find it a bigger job than I want at this time.  One of these days, I will commit to it.  It's the little papers, and the time we have to hold on to some things, I have to go through.  Then there's the shredded things that needs to be done too.  I think as I go through it, it's letting go a little at a time.  We just can do it at our own pace.  So I understand.  

[lynnie61]

@Anonymous032819   I’m so sorry.  It’s a lot to deal with.  When my mom passed we each picked a few things.  My dad, who is still in their home,  really hasn’t gotten rid of much.  When he passes, I will again, take a few items.  I’ve been asking him for YEARS. Let’s get rid of some stuff.  It just doesn’t appeal to him.  What we treasure does not mean our kids will treasure.

The memories you have, you will have FOREVER!  No one can take those away.  Hey, I have my own STUFF, and I don’t need more.  I try to get rid of my own stuff and downsize.  

I’m thankful I have an apartment, and not an entire house and basement and attic full of things.  

[Cakers3]

---

@Anonymous032819 wrote:

It's something that we all go through, sooner or later, especially if your family is gone.

It can be a hard, difficult, and painful journey, but it defines us as to who we are.

Today, I went to the storage unit that I have been renting (yes, I know, a big money waster) and went through the things that I want to keep.

Photos and home movies that are on film(!), my mom's report cards, dishes and stuff that my grandmother had, like candlestick holders, my mother's college diploma, etc, I want to keep.

But I can't keep everything.

Am I expected to haul everything around for the rest of my life?

I don't think that either of my parents would want that.

I have about a dozen boxes of stuff that I want to keep.

The rest, I just  don't have the room for.

Sometimes I hate being an adult.

---

@Anonymous032819   You answered your own question.

Later in this thread you mentioned that your head knows what to do but your heart is causing you anxiety.

Letting go is about taking care of yourself;  you know the realism of keeping things but your heart is still trying to be loyal to your parents.

That is why you don't like being an adult sometimes.

I feel for you; you are handling this all on your own and the task can be both liberating and painful.  Never are the two mutually exclusive.

You just do the best that you can.  You can take little steps each time until you are comfortable (hopefully) with what you have kept and what you have released.

I have nothing left of my parents except for my Dad's WWII items.

When a loved one dies, we tend to hold onto the things left behind; that tenous thread keeping us tied together.  Eventually time fades some memories; items become things without much attachment anymore.

Let you be your own guide. 

All the best to you.

[Cakers3]

@Anonymous032819   I wanted to add-say "Good-bye" to each item, acknowledging what the item meant at one time to the original owner and how you know it's time now to let go.

This technique works and may sound odd but saying "Good-bye" will lessen the anxiety and feelings of obligation to keep it all. 

[Sooner]

---

@RetRN wrote:

Storage unit? Now, that would be the day. If I didn't have room for something I sure as heck wouldn't be wasting money on a storage unit. I would move to a bigger place or sell, donate, or giveaway what I didn't need or have room for. If I had family I was planning to eventually give the items to I would offer those things to them now. Turning mountains into mole hills accomplishes nothing. I'll never understand why people can't make decisions. 

---

@RetRN You make it sound so easy.  Wonder why many of have so many problems with it?