Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

1.   Chicken Crossing The Road  Why did the chicken cross the road?  CIA "Give us five minute with the chicken and we'll find out.

2.   CRISIS MIDLIFE A couple is sitting in the living room sipping wine.  Out of the blue the wife says, "I love you."  "Is that you or the wine talking?" asks the husband.  "It's me, says the wife. Talking to the wine."

3.   ETERNAL LIFE  I intend to live forever.  So far, so good.

4.   Knock,knock.  Who's there?  A little old lady.  A little old lady who?  I had no idea you could yodel.

5.   MUSICIANS A woman is on trial for beating up her unfaithful rock star husband with his guitar collection.  The judge asks her, "First offender?"  'No", she says.  "First a Gibson, then a Fender.

6.   PUNS  I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.  All I did was take a day off.

7.   TOILET HUMOR  Why do they lock the gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?

8.  JOAN RIVERS  "The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."

9.   THERAPY  A psychologist congratulated his patient on making good progress, but the patient wasn't buying it.  "You call this progress?" he snapped.  "Six months ago I was Napoleon.  Now I'm nobody."

10.   A woman walks into a doctor's office with both of her ears burned.  "What happened?" asks the doctor?  "While I was ironing my blouse, the phone rang, and I picked up the iron instead of the phone," she says.  "That explains one ear, but what about the other?"  "The jerk called again."

[DbinMD]

@Lindsays Grandma 

These are great, esp #8.. Joan Rivers!

[on the bay]

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@DbinMD wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma 

These are great, esp #8.. Joan Rivers!

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I was just going to say,

I love Joan rivers!

(and so true