Re: Kissing Children

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@pattypeep wrote:
Not good, IMO. I would not have allowed my daughter to go to her friend's house with just the dad there. I would insist that both girls come to my house and play.

There are many dads who are responsible for the care of their children. I would hate think that their kids could never host a play date.

A blanket judgment shouldn't be made. Perhaps it's wise, whether it is the mother or the father, to get to know the person a little better before a get-together and to keep in contact via cellphone during the first visit.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

QueenDanceALot · ‎04-18-2013

A grown man should NOT be kissing a little girl on the lips, whether he is related to her or not.

Big Red Flag

I would certainly tell the girl's mother, but there is no guarantee that this will actually protect the girl.

QueenDanceALot · ‎04-18-2013

You can "get to know" someone and still not know that they are not who you think they are.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@QueenDanceALot wrote:
You can "get to know" someone and still not know that they are not who you think they are.

That is a true statement. It goes for all of us, though. We don't live in certainty, ever. The logical conclusion is that everybody is a danger to our children. The nice SAHM up the street could be dealing drugs; the dad next door could be a child predator.

All we can do is to trust our instincts and be on top of it -- without, of course, making our children overly fearful of everyone and every situation.

I am referring here to the suggestion that no father should be host to a play date. I find that a very sad indictment of men.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

pattypeep · ‎06-06-2011

@suzyQ3 wrote:
@pattypeep wrote:
Not good, IMO. I would not have allowed my daughter to go to her friend's house with just the dad there. I would insist that both girls come to my house and play.
There are many dads who are responsible for the care of their children. I would hate think that their kids could never host a play date.

A blanket judgment shouldn't be made. Perhaps it's wise, whether it is the mother or the father, to get to know the person a little better before a get-together and to keep in contact via cellphone during the first visit.

It's the kissing on the lips thing. Red flag. I know many responsible fathers and none of them kiss little girls on the mouth.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@pattypeep wrote:
Not good, IMO. I would not have allowed my daughter to go to her friend's house with just the dad there. I would insist that both girls come to my house and play.

Totally agree with you @pattypeep.

Also agree with you that it's a huge red flag for a grown man to kiss this little girl on the mouth - it's inappropriate!

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@suzyQ3 I agree, that is a very sad indictment of men

Obviously we should all do all that we can to protect children, but calling CPS about this...well I agree with what others said. That can ruin lives when it's unwarranted. So the only other option is to deal with the child's mother first and see how that goes. Kissing your own child on the lips is your decision. Someone else's child well the parent better know and be ok with it.

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

QueenDanceALot · ‎04-18-2013

@suzyQ3 wrote:
@QueenDanceALot wrote:
You can "get to know" someone and still not know that they are not who you think they are.

That is a true statement. It goes for all of us, though. We don't live in certainty, ever. The logical conclusion is that everybody is a danger to our children. The nice SAHM up the street could be dealing drugs; the dad next door could be a child predator.

All we can do is to trust our instincts and be on top of it -- without, of course, making our children overly fearful of everyone and every situation.

I am referring here to the suggestion that no father should be host to a play date. I find that a very sad indictment of men.

Oh, well, I would agree about the suggestion that no father should be host to a play date.

But to think that if you "get to know" a man who kisses your young child on the lips and then everything must be okay is just not sufficient.

MickD · ‎03-10-2010

@Tinkrbl44 yes I could imagine cps knocking on my door. It happens in neighborhoods everyday. Just like police knocking on doors everyday. Reporting an incident does not make it to be true or untrue. It is the first step in the investigative process. Nothing more and nothing less. Let the investigative parties do their job. If the incidents are unfounded so be it. It should be confidential.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.... ~ S & G

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@suzyQ3 wrote:
@pattypeep wrote:
Not good, IMO. I would not have allowed my daughter to go to her friend's house with just the dad there. I would insist that both girls come to my house and play.
There are many dads who are responsible for the care of their children. I would hate think that their kids could never host a play date.

A blanket judgment shouldn't be made. Perhaps it's wise, whether it is the mother or the father, to get to know the person a little better before a get-together and to keep in contact via cellphone during the first visit.

I agree. I've known many responsible, wonderful fathers. And I've known some neglectful, irresponsible mothers. Assuming that a man would be up to no good simply because he is a man is a huge generalization and not at all warranted. And just because the parent at home is female doesn't mean a child will be safe or looked after properly.

And yes, when my kids were young, I always got to know the parents (whether male or female) before entrusting them with my child. Gender had nothing to do with it.