Community Chat

[JamandBread]

@ninjawife I agree- to not let her in the house, if that is what happened, is weird and cruel. It's almost as if they are hiding something. Maybe plural wives, a Marijuana grow operation, a meth factory, a porno ring? Just bizarre.
Or it could be that their "values" disallow any contact between unmarried couples in their house. Which makes even less sense to me.

[SeaMaiden]

I would have booked a flight home... called a uber or a taxie to the airport and left with no explaination.

[Lucky Charm]

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@bonnielu wrote:

Afraid of  Covid concern plain and simple.  My take.  They did lots of work trying to give her a place to stay.  That was not easy, however strange.  But she  got to come and meet them and they thought enough about the situation to attempt to make her comfortable except the shower. 

She should give them another chance but not before telling her boiyfriend how she felt about the situation.  It is his response that counts.

As for inlaws.  Mine were strange and distant until I had kids.  I should say it was my mother in law.  She once came knocking on our door and insisted my husband pick her rather than me. She was mad about something.  Never could figure it out.  She mellowed after my gift of four daughters who she adored to her death.  

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Disagree.

Unless they made the son wear a mask inside and stay 6 feet away the entire weekend, then no.

He traveled with this girl, flew on a plane with her, travels for work, so they should've made him stay elsewhere, also.

How could she be high risk and he isn't?

[occasionalrain]

When he returns from his trip, she needs to get answers from him, if she hasn't already. He needs to tell her why she wasn't invited in to have dinner with them, why he neglected her, except for a few lunches, during the entire four days, why he didn't take her and his parents out for dinner, and why he didn't tell her what to expect before she agreed to go along to meet his parents. He's the only one who can explain the situation to her.

[skatting44]

If the parents were worried abt Covid , they let their son in the house , so that does not completely float .  I would have pulled  my boyfriend aside and said I did Not feel safe  sleeping in some  dinky trailer in the driveway .I would have suggested  instead a hotel room for  us both . If, the boyfriend  did not then go speak with his parents , I would have   rented a car and went home . Stange  situation , and even more to be caught off guard .

[HisElk1]

As the comedian Bill Engvall used to say "Here's Your Sign".  

She needs to run and fast IMO.

[Greeneyedlady21]

That is a huge red flag, obviously. The only thing I can come up with is that they could be hoarders?

[vsm]

His parents sound awful, but so does he.  Do you really have so little faith in your niece's judgment that you think she'd marry him after her experience?

[Mindy D]

Either the parents legitimately thought future DIL would prefer this (doubtful) or the parents did not like people staying with them or even coming into their home. If the parents preferred no visitors in their home they should have had the son make totally different arrangements. Son and his GF could have stayed in a hotel and parents visited them there. Perhaps parents have something they need to hide from future DIL or feel very uncomfortable with anyone visiting or staying over except their son or they have some belief that precludes them from having unmarried romantic partners sleep together inside their home. We don't know. Future husband should have gotten all the plans in advance of the trip and discussed everything he knew with the bride. If future husband did not know what the plans were before the trip, I can understand him not discussing the plan. Bride to be needs a thorough discussion with groom to be about the entire situation and about the family in general. I think she should avoid dumping the guy at this stage. He might be perfectly willing to make accommodations and yield to her preferences in the future. 

[manny2]

This is bizarre. Sleeping in a trailer is one thing, but no access to the house, and cooking her own food is quite another. No shower seals the deal. The boyfriend should have said no to his parents. We are going to stay in a hotel, because this is not acceptable. We can either come over for dinner (both of us) or we can meet and have dinner out. 

If they fear covid it would have been reasonable to have her test before she came.

While it might be uncomfortable for some parents to have their adult children in the same bedroom with a significant other that would not apply to the dinner table.

I would tell him exactly how I feel. I would ask him why he thought it was OK to leave me in a trailer. People tell us who they are by their actions. Everything we say and do tells a story. I would also ask why he even brought me to meet them. She didn't meet them, or have contact with them. 

I would step back, and rethink this relationship. The fact that he went along with it is troubling.