Just when I thought I had heard everything

Duckncover · ‎07-16-2021

My niece, age 30, has been dating a guy for several months. They seem to be crazy about each other. His parents live in Virginia and he asked her to go there with him to meet them. She was elated since she thinks he is going to propose soon and she is already looking at dresses, etc. They flew out there a couple of weeks ago and when they pulled up to the house, she saw a cute little camping trailer parked out front in the driveway. She thought the parents were very welcoming and nice. Then things changed. She discovered the trailer was where she was expected to stay during their visit. It had a tiny hotplate and cube fridge and microwave, toilet, sink, but no shower. His mother proudly showed her the groceries she had stocked the trailer with so she could make whatever she liked to eat. They knew she would be bored while they and their son caught up with each other after not seeing one another since COVID, so they thought providing her with her own, private space would be nice. They had plenty of space and several bedrooms in their home. She was very upset and told me she made the best of it. Slept alone out in the camper and her boyfriend took her out for lunch a couple of times....but she went without a shower for four days they were there.....and was never invited into the house; what would you think? He seemed to think it was a wonderful, hospitable thing to do....I would kick this guy to the curb. I hope he doesn't propose. They sound like the in-laws from you-know -where.

SurferWife · ‎12-12-2010

OH HELL NO!

Time is just a drop in the bucket compared to eternity. It isn’t how long you live that matters; it is how well you are prepared to die. ~~Colonel Robert B. Thieme, Jr.

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

@Duckncover I would be polite and firm about not accepting another "date". I would busy myself with family and friends who are supporting and loving....appreciating the fact that I dodged that bullet.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

I would not have stayed.

I would've been so afraid to be outside in a strange place/state/ part of the country ---for heaven's sake.

I probably would've asked first, if I could sleep in the house and the boyfriend sleep outside!

If that was a 'no', I would've called for a taxi, uber, whatever and gotten on a plane so fast and headed home.

If he doesn't *get it*, he never will!

You don't have to answer, but have they lived together?

Porcelain · ‎02-19-2014

Are they high risk and did they ask her to take a Covid test and she refused? I can't think of any other semi-reasonable reason to banish her to a trailer. Quite rude.

It would have been rude if they had insisted she take a hotel room, let alone camp out by herself in a trailer. I'm surprised her boyfriend wasn't upset with his parents on her behalf. If he thinks that kind of treatment is acceptable and if he doesn't stand up for her and insist on their treating her with respect, that relationship does not have a good future.

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

On It · ‎03-15-2021

@Duckncover Tell her to run! Run like the wind! When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

That family is high risk, and I'm not talking about Covid. I doubt that I would have hung around.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

Wow I think that's very weird. Why was she not invited into the house? Were they afraid of covid? This makes no sense since they drove up together and he spent time in the house with his parents. I would have been very uncomfortable about the whole situation if it were me!

So what did your neice say to her boyfriend about this?

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

I have to say I would not have stayed the night. I simply would have left, gone home, and said "Sorry, that's it." I would have said to that bunch, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake to come along, you need your time and so do I. I am going home."

I would be thanking God for a long long time for showing me the way home.

Duckncover · ‎07-16-2021

The big red flag for me is that her boyfriend thought it was fine for her to stay in a trailer ! I can't say much to her since she is very stubborn, ..I hope my sister will tell her to drop him...but she is very easy going and soft spoken...doubt she will. Since my niece was so upset and angry when she got back home, I am hopng she changes her mind on her own and no one has to warn her about this guy.