On 3/11/2015 SoftRaindrops said: Excellent advice, Mary.
Jules, you did everything you could in this most difficult situation. I know that you have had a very tough year and this is the last thing you needed. Sometimes, life just makes no sense.
Please take care of yourself and know that there are many of us on this forum who wish you the best and hope you are OK.... You've been through something very traumatic and you handled yourself well.....
Wait a minute..NO FAIR.. I don't know what type of year she has had. I am responding to this one post.
She left and isn't going back that said..she should of did things a bit differently..no cakes, no bringing the dog ..no sitting on the bed for comfort ..nothing that is beyond the scope of her job..did she do any of those things because she was interested in him..ABSOLUTELY NOT..but it still went a bit off the professional marker into the friend marker and you cannot do that in these types of situations.
Nobody is downplaying or not saying it wasn't traumatic for her..but she asked a question which I responded to. She told him it was inappropriate..but yelling she isnt' a prostitute..well ....she was obviously upset at his actions...and reacted. She left which was the right thing for her..
It has nothing to do with whatever went on this past year. I don't know anything about that. As for her welfare she left the situation and is now asking questions.
I haven't read all the replies but am going to..but she has to remember this is a JOB..not a new friend..etc..she acted totally as a nice person..but you have to maintain professional boundaries and once you go over that boundary..you unfortunately put yourself out there. What he did was wrong..absolutely..obviously when he continued on and asked if she had any friends...after she was upset and told him it was not appropriate...it was clear the man is not on the same page that most of us are on...so obviously he has some types of issues..
I would make it a point that I let the Agency know in the future that if she suspects any clients of being under the influence of alcohol when she arrives or after she arrives that her services are being ended on that day. I would not go to a clients home and perform any type of care if they were drinking or had been drinking..that opens up a whole another can of inhibitions obviously..so make some ground rules with the Agency.
Unfortunately this happens in this field at times..and other fields..she handled it well..now she knows some things to do differently in the future and one being ..she is to maintain a level of professional relationship at ALL TIMES..do not lower the barrier as then that will open it up on their end.