Community Chat

[LizAnne_1]

I'm surprised you were allowed to take your dog to the client's house.

Did the supervisor ever call you back?

[maryebrown_1]

On 3/11/2015 sophiamarie said:

On 3/11/2015 KittyLouSoutenu said:

P.S. I would not bring my dog into a client's home.

You may think it's a nice thing to do, but you don't know how a client might react. Potentially not fair to the dog.

Just a thought.

All true. Also, what would have happened if the dog bit Leroy??

I cringed when I saw that she let him rub her leg and tried to hug her. That's when she should have left the room and made the phone call IMO...

Strange story - and that's all it might be - just a story......

SophiaMarie, I don't believe for one minute that Jules "made this up". First of all, if you read/comprehended her Topic you would understand that she was working at night (and The Brass at the HHA typically leave at 5 p.m.). She was correct in calling her supervisor (and apparently leaving a message) as it got the ball rolling with filing an incident about the client and his behavior. The fact that the supervisor hasn't followed up with Jules about the incident, speaks VOLUMES about the HHA (and their avoidance is not a defense if The State Regulatory Commission were to get involved). Every time there is any kind of incident, it MUST be documented (no excuses). I'm sure this client has done this before, and the fact that Jules was unaware of the type of behavior this man engages in (because her supervisor never told her) is another demonstration of bad faith shown by her employer.

I worked in an Assisted Living Facility and my Med Techs and fellow Resident Assistants told me which Residents displayed "problematic behavior" and how to avoid it, during my training. I took copious notes and watched for the warning signs, so I was well-prepared when the inappropriate actions started. I nipped it in the Bud, and any persistence by the resident was usually stopped. If it continued, I reported it to my Med Tech and the SIC, and they handled it with an incident report as well as their talking to the resident.

[raven-blackbird]

On 3/11/2015 JustJules said:

On 3/11/2015 raven-blackbird said:

The fix you found yourself in..........you created........you became familiar with a client and then want to get upset when he takes steps to follow your lead...............there is one sentence I was told once by an instructor, because of my nature to be familiar with patients.....................FRIENDLY.....NOT......FAMILIAR..........and she was right.....................................raven

Follow my lead??!!! Wow! My "lead" was just being kind and listening to a lonely old guy rather than treating him like a J-O-B! It figures you would have a "blame the victim" mentality...or perhaps it's just because it's me. Regardless, you're wrong! I didn't create any fix, as you put it. I certainly didn't invite or encourage his behavior. You're entitled to your opinion, but I find your view very disturbing on many levels.

yes your lead..........he asks you to sit on his bed with him and you do it and you think this might not plant a seed in this old mans head?????????......he was a client and you should always keep things on that level.........because IF you don't, what happened WILL happen again...........FRIENDLY NOT FAMILIAR.......................................raven

[HollyDays]

On 3/11/2015 Free2be said:

There are several excellent advisory comments here, probably the best of them are the least you wanted to read.

Take the lesson from this experience: Don't get personal with your clients. As you said yourself, you don't know their medical history therefore you can't know if you are setting them up for an expectation you cannot/should not fulfill.

No more birthday cakes. Leave your dog at home. Keep your service entirely on a professional level, you aren't there to be their friend. You can still be warm, kind and caring. The elderly and anyone who isn't getting sufficient oxygen, he having emphysema, may not always act as they would when they were fully cognitive.

As one poster said, he shouldn't be denied the services he needs. Hopefully, they will assign him to someone who will keep good boundaries from the onset.

Nursing homes are full of people who have lost their sekksual filters. They grope at staff. It's a sad part of aging.

yes yes and yes

[Justina rae]

On 3/11/2015 KittyLouSoutenu said:

You can type 'sexual'.

Webbie doesn't have a go to pieces when he/she sees it.

lol

[KittyLouSoutenu]

I suspect this thread isn't going to end well.

[abbeythe 8th]

On 3/11/2015 KittyLouSoutenu said:

I suspect this thread isn't going to end well.

They seldom do.

Posters should know better than to point out missteps.

[KittyLouSoutenu]

On 3/11/2015 abbeythe8th said:

On 3/11/2015 KittyLouSoutenu said:

I suspect this thread isn't going to end well.

They seldom do.

Posters should know better than to point out missteps.

If you are going to post a blow by blow story and ask for opinions, then pointing out missteps is part of the deal.

IMO.

[CouponQueen]

On 3/11/2015 SoftRaindrops said:

Excellent advice, Mary.

Jules, you did everything you could in this most difficult situation. I know that you have had a very tough year and this is the last thing you needed. Sometimes, life just makes no sense.

Please take care of yourself and know that there are many of us on this forum who wish you the best and hope you are OK.... You've been through something very traumatic and you handled yourself well.....

Wait a minute..NO FAIR.. I don't know what type of year she has had. I am responding to this one post.

She left and isn't going back that said..she should of did things a bit differently..no cakes, no bringing the dog ..no sitting on the bed for comfort ..nothing that is beyond the scope of her job..did she do any of those things because she was interested in him..ABSOLUTELY NOT..but it still went a bit off the professional marker into the friend marker and you cannot do that in these types of situations.

Nobody is downplaying or not saying it wasn't traumatic for her..but she asked a question which I responded to. She told him it was inappropriate..but yelling she isnt' a prostitute..well ....she was obviously upset at his actions...and reacted. She left which was the right thing for her..

It has nothing to do with whatever went on this past year. I don't know anything about that. As for her welfare she left the situation and is now asking questions.

I haven't read all the replies but am going to..but she has to remember this is a JOB..not a new friend..etc..she acted totally as a nice person..but you have to maintain professional boundaries and once you go over that boundary..you unfortunately put yourself out there. What he did was wrong..absolutely..obviously when he continued on and asked if she had any friends...after she was upset and told him it was not appropriate...it was clear the man is not on the same page that most of us are on...so obviously he has some types of issues..

I would make it a point that I let the Agency know in the future that if she suspects any clients of being under the influence of alcohol when she arrives or after she arrives that her services are being ended on that day. I would not go to a clients home and perform any type of care if they were drinking or had been drinking..that opens up a whole another can of inhibitions obviously..so make some ground rules with the Agency.

Unfortunately this happens in this field at times..and other fields..she handled it well..now she knows some things to do differently in the future and one being ..she is to maintain a level of professional relationship at ALL TIMES..do not lower the barrier as then that will open it up on their end.

[VioletEyes]

On 3/11/2015 CouponQueen said:

On 3/11/2015 SoftRaindrops said:

Excellent advice, Mary.

Jules, you did everything you could in this most difficult situation. I know that you have had a very tough year and this is the last thing you needed. Sometimes, life just makes no sense.

Please take care of yourself and know that there are many of us on this forum who wish you the best and hope you are OK.... You've been through something very traumatic and you handled yourself well.....

Wait a minute..NO FAIR.. I don't know what type of year she has had. I am responding to this one post.

She left and isn't going back that said..she should of did things a bit differently..no cakes, no bringing the dog ..no sitting on the bed for comfort ..nothing that is beyond the scope of her job..did she do any of those things because she was interested in him..ABSOLUTELY NOT..but it still went a bit off the professional marker into the friend marker and you cannot do that in these types of situations.

Nobody is downplaying or not saying it wasn't traumatic for her..but she asked a question which I responded to. She told him it was inappropriate..but yelling she isnt' a prostitute..well ....she was obviously upset at his actions...and reacted. She left which was the right thing for her..

It has nothing to do with whatever went on this past year. I don't know anything about that. As for her welfare she left the situation and is now asking questions.

I haven't read all the replies but am going to..but she has to remember this is a JOB..not a new friend..etc..she acted totally as a nice person..but you have to maintain professional boundaries and once you go over that boundary..you unfortunately put yourself out there. What he did was wrong..absolutely..obviously when he continued on and asked if she had any friends...after she was upset and told him it was not appropriate...it was clear the man is not on the same page that most of us are on...so obviously he has some types of issues..

I would make it a point that I let the Agency know in the future that if she suspects any clients of being under the influence of alcohol when she arrives or after she arrives that her services are being ended on that day. I would not go to a clients home and perform any type of care if they were drinking or had been drinking..that opens up a whole another can of inhibitions obviously..so make some ground rules with the Agency.

Unfortunately this happens in this field at times..and other fields..she handled it well..now she knows some things to do differently in the future and one being ..she is to maintain a level of professional relationship at ALL TIMES..do not lower the barrier as then that will open it up on their end.

Excuse me but I was not addressing your post. I was addressing the OP and Mary's. Why you would claim "No fair" when I never meant that post for you, I don't really understand.

I was commiserating with the OP. You know that thing called "empathy" when someone is going through a difficult time.