Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

1.   A drill sergeant chewed out one of his cadets.  Then he smiled coyly and said, "I guess when I die you'll dance on my grave."  The cadet shakes his head.  "Not me Sarge.  I promised myself that when I got out of the Army, I'd never stand in another line."

2.   When a rich businessman began to choke on a fish bone at a restaurant, a doctor seated nearby sprang up and performed the Heimlich maneuver, saving the man's life.  "Thank you, thank you!" said the businessman.  "Please, I insist on paying you.  Just name the fee."  "OK," said the doctor.  "How about half of what you'd have offered when the bone was still in your throat."

3.  BLONDS  A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap.  He's telling a dumb-blond joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.  "What gives you the right to stereotype blonds that way?" she demands.  "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?"  Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer an apology.  "You keep out of this!" she yells.  "I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee."

4.   An elderly couple go to Burger King where they carefully split a burger and fries.  A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.  "It's all right," says the husband.  "We share everything."  A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.  "I really wouldn't mind buying her own meal," he insists.  "She'll eat," the husband assures him.  "We share everything."

Unconvinced, the trucker asks the wife, "Why won't you eat?"  The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"

[godi]

🤣🤣☕️☕️❤️