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Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-25-2012

“It’s okay to go.”

That’s what one of the nurses at the hospice told me to say to my sister when she was terminally ill with lung cancer.

 

Although I wasn’t really sure I wanted to say that, I waited for a private moment with her and said it.

 

There was dead silence in the room that seemed endless.  Then my sister looked up at me with her bright green eyes and a puzzled expression and said “Go where?”

 

 I never felt so stupid in my life.  She died two months later.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,332
Registered: ‎05-23-2015

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

Well, a nurse told me the same thing when my dad was near death. I just kept telling him it was ok to go , that mom was waiting for him, and shortly after he passed. I appreciated her advice , because frankly I was so scared and it helped.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
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Registered: ‎06-18-2018

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@LilacTree  that story is so funny and so sad, all at the same.  Life certainly has it's crazy moments.

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Re: “It’s okay to go.”


@LilacTree wrote:

That’s what one of the nurses at the hospice told me to say to my sister when she was terminally ill with lung cancer.

 

Although I wasn’t really sure I wanted to say that, I waited for a private moment with her and said it.

 

There was dead silence in the room that seemed endless.  Then my sister looked up at me with her bright green eyes and a puzzled expression and said “Go where?”

 

 I never felt so stupid in my life.  She died two months later.


 

 

 

 

There was no reason to feel stupid. You gave her your blessing, and that's always a selfless thing to do.Heart

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
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Registered: ‎01-18-2012

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@LilacTree   Oh my this made me laugh in a sad way so sorry for your loss but it goes to show we should go by our own gut feelings on advice which however kindly given does not always work for us.

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Registered: ‎09-30-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@LilacTree I had the same experience when my father was dying in hospice years and years ago, except the nurse didn't give me the advice, I just knew what to say (I was very close to my dad) and knew he was hanging on by a thread waiting for another family member who was NOT going to come.

 

I told him heaven was like a rose garden (he loved gardening all his life) and that person X wasn't able to come so you can just leave and go to the garden now.  He opened his eyes, looked at me, and was gone.

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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”


@Dulwich wrote:

@LilacTree   Oh my this made me laugh in a sad way so sorry for your loss but it goes to show we should go by our own gut feelings on advice which however kindly given does not always work for us.


@LilacTree   Best story ever!  I'll go when it's my time.

 

I think in Hinduism they believe it's up to oneself when to be born and when to "go".

 

So much for Western Medicine.

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Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@LilacTree    My Father said the same thing when my sibling told him it was ok to go. Go where?? Sibling didn’t know what to say.

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Re: “It’s okay to go.”

[ Edited ]

My beloved sister was very pragmatic.  she knew where she was and why.  But she always acted as though she was going to get up the next morning, stick a cigarette in her mouth and hop on her beloved horse for a romp through the fields.

 

That was almost eight years ago.  She was “unforgettable,” and I’ll miss her forever.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
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Re: “It’s okay to go.”

Once in the ER I realized things were not going well and it seemed to be dark.  I was happy for the quiet.  Then all heck broke out and here I am.

 

But just for a moment I know I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to rouse me with talk.  I want to go with silence.