Community Chat

[manny2]

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@Krimpette wrote:

i've never heard of a sympathy gift, but beyond that, since you're invited, I don't understand your misgiving on attending>

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@Krimpette She doesn't have misgivings about attending. She is simply asking if the sympathy gift is appropriate. 

[KathyM23]

@Istru   I would not take a gift when you go to the funeral. it would be awkward to present it.    I would send a sympathy card and the windchime to the person's home.  I think a windchime would be a really good idea as a memorial gift.

[Janey2]

Maybe it is a regional or religious thing, but I never heard or have seen anyone bring a gift to a funeral. As far as the card put it in the mail.

[geezerette]

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@KathyM23 wrote:

@Istru   I would not take a gift when you go to the funeral. it would be awkward to present it.    I would send a sympathy card and the windchime to the person's home.  I think a windchime would be a really good idea as a memorial gift.

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I agree that it would be awkward at the funeral service itself. 

If you know the bereaved well and feel comfortable visiting at their home, I would take the gift then.  If not, I agree that mailing it would be more appropriate.

It's very thoughtful of you, regardless.

[lgfan]

Yes, the gift would be appropriate.

[Puppy Lips]

Personally, I don't like wind chimes.  One of my neighbors has one, and I am so glad I don't live next to them, as the sound would drive me crazy.  I don't think you need to give them a gift at all.

Also, I think mailing the card would be better.  I have been to too many funerals lately, and have never seen anyone hand a card to the grieving family.  That person would then have to find someplace to put it - take it to their purse or whatever.  If they read it right thenand there, it could be very emotional, as those cards are meant to cause tears, in my opinion.

Just my thoughts.  Sorry for your loss.

[ThinkingOutLoud]

I would not take a gift to the funeral but get it to them after. A few reasons:

~ others may feel like they should have thought of that

~ others may be grieving deeply as well, not just the one (you don't know how close different people are)

~ the person may not know where to put it

~ the person may leave it behind and never see it again (I know of someone that was quite distraught they set it down and couldn't find it later)

[mspatmac]

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@geezerette wrote:

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@KathyM23 wrote:

@Istru   I would not take a gift when you go to the funeral. it would be awkward to present it.    I would send a sympathy card and the windchime to the person's home.  I think a windchime would be a really good idea as a memorial gift.

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I agree that it would be awkward at the funeral service itself. 

If you know the bereaved well and feel comfortable visiting at their home, I would take the gift then.  If not, I agree that mailing it would be more appropriate.

It's very thoughtful of you, regardless.

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I also agree it would be very awkward and uncomfortable to present a gift at a funeral. The rememberence gift is a lovely idea and I sure would be appreciated at a later time.

[Istru]

Thank you! You're right! I will mail the card and take the gift in person after. 

[shoptilyadropagain]

Personally, I feel it's better to send anything to a funeral/viewing beforehand through a local florest.  However, when my dad passed away, we had a family friend bring something in person to the viewing.  It's probably too late now to have it sent so I would probably go ahead and take it.