Community Chat

[Goodie2shoes]

@NigelSparkleswrote: So sorry for your loss. So many of us lost loved ones to covid. Today is the 2nd anniversary of my sister's death - also to covid. May your mother's memory be a blessing....

@NigelSparkles  you have my sincere and deepest sympathy on the loss of your sister as well. We will both keep memories of our loved ones in our hearts and see them again one day. One of my sisters was the roommate of my mother because she has Parkinson's. She also had covid at the same time my mother had it but she was able to return to the nursing home after her hospital stay and she is doing well. She has been vaccinated and boostered.

[Katcat1]

Mothers are quite amazing.  Work hard to provide for their children and give unconditional love.  In memory of your mother she was lucky to have you as a daughter.

[Puppy Lips]

So sorry for your loss.  I lost my Mom two years ago this August.  But she did not die of Covid.  She was 90.

My garage is still full of her stuff.  I have gone through all that stuff and taken what I want.  But I am emotionally stuck on what to do with the rest of it.  I have gone back and forth between garage sale and donate, countless times in my head, with arguments for both sides.  So I do nothing and there it sits.  I wish someone would just tell me what to do.  Garage sales are a lot of work.  She has a lot of nice stuff, but stuff that would not sell for much per piece.  If I go to all the trouble and make a few hundred bucks, is it worth it?  I don't know.

Then there is my dining room filled with her photo albums and calendars that are like journals.  Have not touched those yet.

Sorry, I know this is off topic for the OP.  Just hoping for some advice from some of you who have been through this.

[AuntG]

Covid took a great toll on elderly Americans. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Jordan2]

@Goodie2shoes I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother, she sounds like she was one of a kind. 

[phoenixbrd]

Beautiful remembrance of your mom,,.how lucky you are to have such wonderful memories,  I am sorry for your significant loss.

[Duckncover]

I am so sorry today is a memory of losing your dear mother...but as you know, the memories grow sweeter with time. I also lost my sweet mother when she was 88...and not a day goes by I don't think of her... blessings to you. 

[vsm]

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@jubilant wrote:

@Goodie2shoes A lovely tribute to your mother. It sounds to me that there was a lot to love about her. I pray your memories will be extra sweet and special this coming Mothers Day.   

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I pray the same for you, too, having recently lost your own dear mother.

[vsm]

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@Puppy Lips wrote:

So sorry for your loss.  I lost my Mom two years ago this August.  But she did not die of Covid.  She was 90.

My garage is still full of her stuff.  I have gone through all that stuff and taken what I want.  But I am emotionally stuck on what to do with the rest of it.  I have gone back and forth between garage sale and donate, countless times in my head, with arguments for both sides.  So I do nothing and there it sits.  I wish someone would just tell me what to do.  Garage sales are a lot of work.  She has a lot of nice stuff, but stuff that would not sell for much per piece.  If I go to all the trouble and make a few hundred bucks, is it worth it?  I don't know.

Then there is my dining room filled with her photo albums and calendars that are like journals.  Have not touched those yet.

Sorry, I know this is off topic for the OP.  Just hoping for some advice from some of you who have been through this.

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May I make a few suggestions, @Puppy Lips? 

1. Keep the photo albums and calendars for now. They need not be part of the task at hand, which is to sort through items you cannot reasonably keep and that might be of use to others. 

2.  Don't put yourself through a garage sale.  You are right that they're a lot of work -- and when it comes to your beloved Mom's things, it's an unnecessary source of stress to choose, sort, price, display, sell, and pack up what remains

3.  Donate to Goodwill, Salvation Army, hospital thrift shops, a local church that might know of families in need, etc. Call and ask if they will pick up large items from you, such as furniture you will never use. As for smaller items, give away 5-10 per week, perhaps to the same entities.  Keep a few pieces of jewelry you like, even if you won't wear them, and donate the rest or take them to a consignment shop, realizing (as you already do) that the purpose here is not to make money but to free yorself up from the paralysis of grief.

4.  Remind yourself that your mother woulld not feel honored knowing that her things are piled up in your garage.  She would want you to reclaim that space for your own needs and purposes.

Just begin -- and be at peace.

[Puppy Lips]

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@vsm wrote:

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@Puppy Lips wrote:

So sorry for your loss.  I lost my Mom two years ago this August.  But she did not die of Covid.  She was 90.

My garage is still full of her stuff.  I have gone through all that stuff and taken what I want.  But I am emotionally stuck on what to do with the rest of it.  I have gone back and forth between garage sale and donate, countless times in my head, with arguments for both sides.  So I do nothing and there it sits.  I wish someone would just tell me what to do.  Garage sales are a lot of work.  She has a lot of nice stuff, but stuff that would not sell for much per piece.  If I go to all the trouble and make a few hundred bucks, is it worth it?  I don't know.

Then there is my dining room filled with her photo albums and calendars that are like journals.  Have not touched those yet.

Sorry, I know this is off topic for the OP.  Just hoping for some advice from some of you who have been through this.

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May I make a few suggestions, @Puppy Lips? 

1. Keep the photo albums and calendars for now. They need not be part of the task at hand, which is to sort through items you cannot reasonably keep and that might be of use to others. 

2.  Don't put yourself through a garage sale.  You are right that they're a lot of work -- and when it comes to your beloved Mom's things, it's an unnecessary source of stress to choose, sort, price, display, sell, and pack up what remains

3.  Donate to Goodwill, Salvation Army, hospital thrift shops, a local church that might know of families in need, etc. Call and ask if they will pick up large items from you, such as furniture you will never use. As for smaller items, give away 5-10 per week, perhaps to the same entities.  Keep a few pieces of jewelry you like, even if you won't wear them, and donate the rest or take them to a consignment shop, realizing (as you already do) that the purpose here is not to make money but to free yorself up from the paralysis of grief.

4.  Remind yourself that your mother woulld not feel honored knowing that her things are piled up in your garage.  She would want you to reclaim that space for your own needs and purposes.

Just begin -- and be at peace.

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@vsm THANK YOU SO MUCH.  I just needed to hear those words from somebody.  Somehow having my sister or brother just tell me to get rid of it all, it is not the same.  I have recently found two places that I want to donate to that do good for others.  One is the Florida Breast Cancer foundation that uses the proceeds to help fight breast cancer.  The other is a church that is all run by volunteers, and the money goes to local charities.  And you are right, that it might be best to donate slowly, so that it is less traumatic for me.  I will start this weekend.  And if I need to read what you wrote again and again, I will.  Thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful help.