Community Chat

[Greeneyedlady21]

@Goodie2shoes I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom, she must have been an amazing woman.

I miss my Mom every single day, especially this week leading up to Mother's Day. It's very painful.

[Katcat1]

@Goodie2shoes   Mothers are very special.  They will do whatever it takes to take care of their children.  So sorry for your loss but now you have all the beautiful memories she left behind.  I think of my mother almost everyday and wish she was still here.  Happy Mothers Day to all the beautiful Mothers.

[vsm]

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@Puppy Lips wrote:

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@vsm wrote:

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@Puppy Lips wrote:

So sorry for your loss.  I lost my Mom two years ago this August.  But she did not die of Covid.  She was 90.

My garage is still full of her stuff.  I have gone through all that stuff and taken what I want.  But I am emotionally stuck on what to do with the rest of it.  I have gone back and forth between garage sale and donate, countless times in my head, with arguments for both sides.  So I do nothing and there it sits.  I wish someone would just tell me what to do.  Garage sales are a lot of work.  She has a lot of nice stuff, but stuff that would not sell for much per piece.  If I go to all the trouble and make a few hundred bucks, is it worth it?  I don't know.

Then there is my dining room filled with her photo albums and calendars that are like journals.  Have not touched those yet.

Sorry, I know this is off topic for the OP.  Just hoping for some advice from some of you who have been through this.

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May I make a few suggestions, @Puppy Lips? 

1. Keep the photo albums and calendars for now. They need not be part of the task at hand, which is to sort through items you cannot reasonably keep and that might be of use to others. 

2.  Don't put yourself through a garage sale.  You are right that they're a lot of work -- and when it comes to your beloved Mom's things, it's an unnecessary source of stress to choose, sort, price, display, sell, and pack up what remains

3.  Donate to Goodwill, Salvation Army, hospital thrift shops, a local church that might know of families in need, etc. Call and ask if they will pick up large items from you, such as furniture you will never use. As for smaller items, give away 5-10 per week, perhaps to the same entities.  Keep a few pieces of jewelry you like, even if you won't wear them, and donate the rest or take them to a consignment shop, realizing (as you already do) that the purpose here is not to make money but to free yorself up from the paralysis of grief.

4.  Remind yourself that your mother woulld not feel honored knowing that her things are piled up in your garage.  She would want you to reclaim that space for your own needs and purposes.

Just begin -- and be at peace.

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@vsm THANK YOU SO MUCH.  I just needed to hear those words from somebody.  Somehow having my sister or brother just tell me to get rid of it all, it is not the same.  I have recently found two places that I want to donate to that do good for others.  One is the Florida Breast Cancer foundation that uses the proceeds to help fight breast cancer.  The other is a church that is all run by volunteers, and the money goes to local charities.  And you are right, that it might be best to donate slowly, so that it is less traumatic for me.  I will start this weekend.  And if I need to read what you wrote again and again, I will.  Thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful help.

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You are so welcome, @Puppy Lips . Like you, I have been giving a lot of thought to such things, as my Dad died 3 years ago today, and my Mom is now 96. So you actually did me a favor by giving me a reason to write down what has worked and not worked for me.  Glad to hear you're on your way to finding what works for you.  Stay strong!