Reply
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

IT'S TIME TO...

[ Edited ]

mix some laughs with the medication for a faster recovery...

 

1.   What do people do with the time they save by writing "K" instead of "OK?"

 

2.   When people see you lying down with your eyes closed they still ask,  "Are you sleeping?"  "No, I'm training to die."

 

3.   My dentist told me I need a crown.  I was like, I KNOW, RIGHT?

 

4.   To be old and wise, you must first have to be young and foolish.

 

5.   I do 5 sit ups every morning.  May not sound like a lot but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button...

 

6.   I'm so glad I had a childhood, before technology took over!

 

7.   My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke.  I attached a payslip on the first slide.

 

8.   When I was a kid my parents moved around a lot.  But I always found them.

 

9.   In bed, it's 6 AM.  You close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45.  At work, it's 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes it's 1:31.

 

10.   My boss told me to have a good day...so I went home.

 

11.   "What did our parents do to kill boredom before the Internet?"  I asked my 26 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either.

 

12.   At my age, the only pole dancing I do is to hold on to the safety bar in the bathtub.   

 

                                  MORE TO FOLLOW

                                          Woman LOL

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,063
Registered: ‎06-15-2014

@Lindsays Grandma Some of your best ever!

Highlighted
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,725
Registered: ‎08-19-2014

@Lindsays Grandma   There you go again!! Thanks!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,375
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Lindsays Grandma   Love these!  I'm smiling before I even start reading.  Thank You so Much!!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,746
Registered: ‎01-19-2015

#11 was my favorite. Woman LOL

~~Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the 'm' is silent.~~
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,300
Registered: ‎05-27-2013

Oh, may I add one, please??

 

Image may contain: possible text that says 'Me in heaven. God: You're about to get your wings. Me: Lemon pepper or bbq? God: Get Out.'