Community Chat

[Anita Hug]

Really? You needed to resort to insults and implying that I'm stupid?  I never said that I climb ladders when I'm alone, did I?  I was only trying to give examples of things people might do that would make them unavailable to answer the phone.

It is my opinion that people should not force others to change how they live. Or to expect others to be at their beck and call every second of every day.  

If you have a different opinion, then that is your right. For me to continue to engage here...well, that would be stupid.

[shoekitty]

I am like that with a cell phone, I just never had the interest to communicate all day with everyone.  Now I do text the grandkids that are out of town everyday.  But I have a hard time getting around.  My cell is always somewhere I am not.  I am always busy and doing something outside or around, and I just don't hear phone.  Also, I never give mt cell number to doctors or anyone but my kids, and husband and a few friends and relatives.  They can get me on the home phone along with telemarketers  I hear that phone.  But there again I leave home phone on do not disturb until I get up in morning.  I had a POC cell for 8 years, it didn't even get phone reception except if I put it on speaker, lol! and I couldn't hear ring.  It finally passed this May, and my husband  and granddaughter took me down asap for iphone, lol!!  I do love the iphone and find it easier to to keep up...but I have a harder time texting.

So I kind of hear your friends mantra!!!  it is frustrating though, especially when there is something of importance.  Does she not have a home phone?

[nun ya]

maybe she's not doing these things because you are doing them for her.

Let her handle her own appointments, if she misses them, that's on her.

[Deanie]

@maestra  Love it.  Adlerian behavior modification. Yes.....

[Annabellethecat66]

My advice is that you tried your best and said your piece.  Just don't be available when asked to do something.  Obviously, it isn't important to your friend to be available so you should either.

It seems simple really, just don't be available.  Lead your life and don't worry about any of them.  You sound like you are busy enough with your own life.

See it as she's doing you a favor and let it go....repeat after me...."Let it go"...."Let it go".  Now go find something to do you want to do do.

[ROMARY]

I'm back and read most of the replies.  'All in all', I do believe that the daughter should find a licensed baby sitter (agency) very near her (the daughter's) home or very near where she works.   And, then, order one of those medical alert necklaces for her mom, just in case the mom has a physical problem. I believe they're only around $25 a month, more or less.   That way, if the mom has a medical event, she can push the button on the necklace and help will arrive.  Or, if the monitor detects a sudden fall, I believe they will alert family, or send out help, or whatever options are selected on the alert contract.   (I've heard that they are month-to-month, with no yearly contracts, etc.)   ........... Wishing all concerned the best of luck.

[JaneMarple]

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@Anita Hug wrote:

Any "friend" who forcefully tried to tell me anything would no longer be my friend. Friends  should respect the wishes of eash other even if they do not agree.

I have a cell phone, but it is only for emergencies. I do not keep it on, and I only give the number out to those closest to me. If someone needs to reach me, all they have to do is call my home number - and leave a message. I'll call back as soon as I can. 

When did we as a society get to the place where it is an expectation that others be available 24/7?    My daughter once drove to my house in a panic because I didn't answer her texts right away. I had been working in my garden, then came in to take a bath. If I'm actually expecting a call, I'll keep a phone nearby. But if I'm not, don't expect me to drop everything to respond.  I'm not talking days, I generally get back to people within a couple of hours, and I make no apology for having my own life and priorities.

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Did you miss the part where the medical facility was trying to reach her? That's a VERY important phone call to miss because you don't want to be tied down to a phone!

[ROMARY]

In general:  I usually carry my cell phone into the basement/garage and also upstairs while showering/bathing.  Just in case I need to call for help, the fire dept., etc.   Otherwise, it's usually in another room on the main floor, unless I make an effort to carry it with me.   I have a wrist strap attachment (a gift), which is very handy when carrying my laundry basket down the steps.  Otherwise, I'd be dropping it just about everywhere all day long.  Especially on stairs.  ............p.s.  I, too, have told, several times, others I know to please call my cell phone and not my landline (which I never directly answer unless they leave a message on the answering device and I'm standing there, listening to who is calling while they are leaving a message).  Unfortunately, 'certain someones' try and try calling me on my landline, don't leave messages, and then tell me that they've been trying to call/talk with me for days/weeks.  Finally, they end up calling me on my cellphone, which I answer because I recognize their phone number or they leave a message, and I call 'right back'.  Whew......that was a long, boring post, lol. 

[KarenQVC]

OP--The daughter needs a new sitter.  As for your friend, everyone has the right to communicate as they wish in their personal, not professional, life.  Always leave a message on her land line and then forget about it.

My cell is usually in my purse--turned off.  I do keep track of my land line when I am home.

[JaneMarple]

@mrsbear I understand your frustration with your friend since you've known her for more than forty years and is probably like a sister to you.

I see classic passive aggressive behavior on her part, she's very stubborn and this her way of control. her elderly mother and mother in law should always be on her mind, God forbid that she should be called o be with one of them when they take their last breaths and she has stubbornly turned off her phone in spite.

By now her daughter knows her mother's ways and should refuse for her to babysit. I know that the baby is but two and probably not speaking very well yet to be understood so unfortunately it's not a good idea for the little one to be there at all.

As far as your professional dealings with goes, treat her just like any other patient and just leave messages and let her do the followup appointments. Good luck to you.