I need suggestions for dealing with a kind neighbor

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

He is a wonderful man and is 90 years old. His licence was taken away, until he gets tested by the state. He had a minor fender bender. We have never noticed bad driving on his part, but that isn't our problem

Mr Cherry has volunteered to take him where he needs to go. So far ,it is only a one way trip to the senior center. It cant be more than a 5 mile round trip, and he gets a ride home.

He just insists on giving my husband money, every week for gas. We don't want it, and have refused to take it. He then throws it into the car, as he departs. I know he isn't hard up, but neither are we, and we don't want repayment

He and is wife were so wonderful, to us, many years ago, when Mr Cherry had cancer. We have never forgotten their goodness, and kindness

I want to put it into an envelope and stick it into his mailbox, but, I am afraid he might be offended by this. Can you offer a suggestion?

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

Perhaps take him out to dinner. He is not going to want the cash back so just use his money to do something nice for him.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

Kardi · ‎05-20-2010

Keep the money and take your neighbor and his wife to dinner or lunch. It gets them out socially. Either that or buy them a nice gift with the money.

deeva · ‎03-09-2010

Dinner or lunch is a great idea. Or maybe donate the money to a charity.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

His wonderful wife has passed away, so he is alone

Midnight11 · ‎03-18-2010

Accept the money from him, it makes him feel better. If you don't nt want it donate to a charity.

Mistic · ‎12-08-2010

How much does he want to give you for the ride? If it is a $5 or $10 dollar bill, I would suggest you just take it and say "This really isn't necessary, but Thank You."

He sounds SO MUCH like my Father, who I lost in February. He would do the same thing when someone took him somewhere. He just wants to "pay" you for your kindness.

I know that you don't want the money, but he feels like a burden, and you have to drive him. It makes him feel better to "Help You Out."

Just my experience with a Very Proud Man. Mistic

If you want to change the tenor of your interactions, you must become aware of the impact of your words...Karen Casey

GingerPeach · ‎03-12-2010

Hi @cherry

Yes, take him to lunch or dinner. @CrazyDaisy 's idea is great.

Or use the money to fund the ingredients to bake him something that is allowed (should he have any dietary restrictions).

I think his giving you money is important to him as it fulfills his need to stay in control of his own life. To stay relevant, to remain a productive citizen. I think we all need that.

I know people say it's gracious to accept help, but if he's 90, allow him this dignity.

[was Homegirl] Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Keep it, envelope it to return at a later date to his family when he has passed. It's one of the last things he can take some pride in doing. Leave him his pride. If something ever comes up, you'll be able to return it to his family. Allow him his pride.