I’m Too Nice - Page 3

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

I cringe when someone says that they are "too nice." To me it means a person doesn't know how to say "no" or is afraid they'll look "mean" if they do so.

I learned decades ago that being a doormat benefits no one. I'm not saying the OP is a doormat but that she seems not to be able to ever say "no."

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@Jordan2 Please, you're an earth angel. Nothing wrong, except others may take advantage of you. I think you'd still be liked even when you say NO. Do that for yourself, and it's called self-love, and you're worth it, entitled to it, and so good for you. What a heart and soul you have, you're a gem. Don't underestimate yourself.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@bikerbabe I've read your comments for some time now, and I think you are great!!!

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

You have to learn to say "no" w/out feeling guilty.

I ain't fraid of no ghosts.

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

@qualitygal wrote:
@Jordan2 Please, you're an earth angel. Nothing wrong, except others may take advantage of you. I think you'd still be liked even when you say NO. Do that for yourself, and it's called self-love, and you're worth it, entitled to it, and so good for you. What a heart and soul you have, you're a gem. Don't underestimate yourself.

@qualitygal thank you for your kind words. There is one woman who didn't like me from day one. I would say good morning (always first), I tried to engage with her. Then one day I thought, what am I doing, to heck with her I'm giving her too much power over me. Now I say nothing to her, it goes against how I am but I'm sticking to it.

LindaSal · ‎05-15-2014

@Jordan2 My husband and I are the same way. Well, I used to be and I'm still working on him, LOL!

We have been taken advantage of for decades with no one to blame but ourselves. I recently used this line in a previous thread regarding how to say "no"........."I'd love to help you, but I can't". I took a day long seminar when I was working about human behavior and I will tell you, that seminar helped me so much in my day to day life that I will never forget the speaker that day, she was phenomenal, she helped me change for the better. It does not require being mean to say no to someone, you can do it with kindness! It's best for you and your overall health to take charge. Best wishes

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

@qualitygal How do you know she didn't like you? Maybe she had a lot on her mind? But,I still think you did the right thing. You are just too hard on yourself.

I ain't fraid of no ghosts.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

@colleena wrote:
@Jordan2 I'm 71 & didn't learn to say no until probably 10 years ago. Like you I was always given more work, assigned the extra duties, expected to do more because I did it. Because of some other things going on in my life at that time I wasn't able to do it all so had to say no & boy was that not expected/appreciated but for me it was okay.

I wonder if you could start out slowly & say no once in awhile to see how it feels and then go from there. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

I didn't say no to family or work until I turned in my retirement notice. I'm very responsible and that started by being the oldest of 7 kids. Even decades years later, family expects me to take charge. Saying no some of the time is a very freeing experience.