Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I don't know what to think of this entire situation...

[ Edited ]

This business of all this krap coming out about famous people being sexually inappropriate with woman at work. And if there is any true evidence of this why aren't they being arrested? And why did the woman allow themselves to be victimized?

I had to work with many feely - grabby doctors over the years. I simply told them in no uncertain terms to get their hands off me, and if they didn't they got an elbow to the ribs or a knee to the groin to emphasize the point.Though it was rare it ever came to that. When another nurse would complain that some doctor or other man at work  did anything inappropriate I would ask them if they told him to cut it out.Too often the answer was no I didn't. Well, then, you just gave him the go ahead to do even more next time you are alone with him.

I guess it was an advantage to have grown up with so many brothers - I learned at an early age to defend myself.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...

It seems to me you do know what to think, you made it very clear.

 

You believe you did the right thing, other women did not, they allowed themselves to become victimized and are to blame. 

QVC Customer Care
Posts: 512
Registered: ‎06-14-2015

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...

[ Edited ]

Noel, that isn't what I said at all.Though with so many suddenly coming out one does wonder how many are true and I really wonder why aren't they being arrested.

My friend's son touched a girl at work breast and she complained and he was arrested.He is doing 90 days in jail for it.So why aren't these guys being put in jail?

 

BTW - in the case of my friend's son - the girl was a tease who taunted the men at work. They are fireman and she would even crawl into their bunks while they slept. The other fireman's testimony got the guy off on all the charges except harrassment and that is what he is doing the 90 days for.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...

Hindsight is always 20/20. They simple fact is we are not all the same. Some people scare easily, and can be intimidated. Maybe they really need the job, and are fearful what will happen if they don't play ball

 

They might be afraid of someone spreading rumours ,that aren't true about them. It can be any number of things ,blackmail even

 

I know it can happen. It did to my daugher when she was  right out of school and had never been involved with anyone. Certainly not with men old enough to be her father

 

Lucky for her, she has the courage of a lion ,and fought back. She sued and won, and the place had to fold.  Many people were involved, and knew about it, and either looked the other way, or joined in the harassment.

 

I shudder to think what might have happened if she was a shy and meek young girl, who was financially destitute, with no one in her corner

 

It behooves us all ,to not throw stones at the victims

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,489
Registered: ‎04-04-2015

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...

I also wonder if women don't blame themselves in another way as well.

 

Since the 60's we have escalated the societal approval of anything goes in the area of sexual behavior - to the point of giving middle school kids condoms and assuring them that sex is healthy and natural, that everyone is doing it, abstinence is a joke,  and - as the Glee show episode "Like a Virgin" depicted - virginiity is something to be cured - only unpopular nerds aren't doing it - and you certainly don't want to be one of them.

 

We also assure girls that they too can have as much sex as they want - no ****** shaming allowed anymore - and fear of pregnancy is no barrier - not with all the birth control available and if all else fails, there's abortion because as we are told "no girl should be 'punished' with a baby."

 

So - while we also say that No means No and that girls don't "have" to do it when they don't want to - it can get confusing if they believe that maybe they "should" want to because after all - it's normal and healthy, everyone is doing it, only nerds have issues, and just what's the big deal after all?

 

Just another aspect of the problem we are seeing.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,530
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...


@151949 wrote:

Noel, that isn't what I said at all.Though with so many suddenly coming out one does wonder how many are true and I really wonder why aren't they being arrested.

My friend's son touched a girl at work breast and she complained and he was arrested.He is doing 90 days in jail for it.So why aren't these guys being put in jail?

 

BTW - in the case of my friend's son - the girl was a tease who taunted the men at work. They are fireman and she would even crawl into their bunks while they slept. The other fireman's testimony got the guy off on all the charges except harrassment and that is what he is doing the 90 days for.


@151949  Was she touched by accident or deliberately?

 

And FYI: her behavior does not justify having her breast touched, if it was done on purpose.   Even a prostitute can be a rape victim.

 

Another fireMAN's testimony to get the "guy off on all other charges" sounds more like a hearsay situation-the girl was a tart so she deserved it.

 

smh

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh
Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...

I would also like to say that over the many years I worked in ICUs that I wittnessed a lot of flirting and sexual innuendo coming from the woman to the guys as well as from the men to the women. In our modern workplaces this goes both ways. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...


@151949 wrote:

Noel, that isn't what I said at all.Though with so many suddenly coming out one does wonder how many are true and I really wonder why aren't they being arrested.

My friend's son touched a girl at work breast and she complained and he was arrested.He is doing 90 days in jail for it.So why aren't these guys being put in jail?

 

BTW - in the case of my friend's son - the girl was a tease who taunted the men at work. They are fireman and she would even crawl into their bunks while they slept. The other fireman's testimony got the guy off on all the charges except harrassment and that is what he is doing the 90 days for.


 

Not everyone jumps to wondering if every woman's claim is true.

 

I wish you would read the ongoing conversations on what has been going on, they are full of information.

 

Studies show that false accusations are 2% to 7%.  The overwhelming majority of women tell the truth.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,713
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I don't know what to think of this entire situation...

There is a big difference between criminal activity, and violating an employee contract/morals clause.  Also, investigations take some time.

 

As to "why did these women allow themselves to be victimized?"   I can't.