Community Chat

[walker]

@Jordan2 ..... you have received good responses here...and you are not a fraud....but, a good person who can adapt well to different situations.   You prefer quiet, private life...nothing wrong with that.   As I get older I find I enjoy being home more or in small groups....with close friends.  I have always been more of an introvert but can be outgoing when in different situations too.  It seems when we are younger we may all be in the "fraud" category sometimes as we try to fit in, make friends, etc.  Then you grow up and realize what is important in life....as said by  @Thats Me ...."Accept Yourself and Love Who You Are!"  👍 

We all get down on ourselves sometimes....but, if you stop to think about what is important in life....you will realize you are ok as you are!  Me, Myself and I get along well!  😊

[QVCkitty1]

My job required constant communication and as an introvert I had to adjust. It was difficult , but you do what you have to do. After awhile I'm sure most wouldn't have guessed how hard it was for me. I tried to have lunch alone , which gave me a chance to recharge. 

[jubilant]

If you are a "people pleaser" that is probably the reason you have problems being around others. Being a people pleaser is exhausting so it makes sense, the more people you are around and trying to please, the more people there are to please.  One can lose themselves this way.  They lose the person they were meant to be. 

If this has been going on for years and if you really want to know who you are and gain back your self esteem, I highly recommend finding a good counselor to help you do that. 

I think the first book I ever read on this subject was...When Pleasing You Is Killing Me.  That was many years ago, but I'm pretty sure it is still in print. 

I  had this problem as a young woman in my 20's and early 30's. I started with books like  the above mentioned and it opened my eyes up to a lot of things. I also believe that my faith helped get me through those days and knowing how much God loves us despite everything.    

[judy0330]

I have a friend who went to EVERY singles activity she could find.  One group met every Friday night.  She kept saying to me that I would never meet anyone sitting in my house.  I finally agreed to go with her one Friday.  Talk about painful.  It was horrible.  As it ended up -- I met my husband at work!  😂

[Kitlynn]

You are not a fraud. Most people have a different persona at work than they do in their private lives. This is not a really good example howeverI am not a morning person at all. I worked in an office for thirty years going in at 6:30 A.M. for people on the East coast that I dealt with. Everyone always commented on how nice I was on the phone etc. so early in the morning. Now, it was all mechanical as I don't like mornings!! LOL I am an avid reader and I do enjoy being with friends off and on but only when I am in the mood. I am not an introvert at all it is the exact opposite but I still like my personal time and not dealing with people also. You can be nice and interact with others even if it isn't your favorite thing to do without thinking you are a fraud.

[qualitygal]

You know you.  You may be a loner.  Many people are. Doesn't make you a Fraud. You can ONLY be YOU.  Not to worry.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

to the OP: sounds like therrapy would do you good. Good luck.

[zitawins]

@Jordan2  Hey, my friend! I know you've received a lot of replies, but I'll say it again: You are NOT a fraud. A lot of us introverts operate the same way; it's not being fake, it's just a way to get along in the world. I hate big doings and crowds and noise, and my family kinows that's the way I am. I make no apologies for it.

Some of my children are extroverts who thrive on connections and other people. Me, I like my own company. I have no problem being alone. Neither approach is wrong. Be true to yourself and say NO occasionally to invitations that don't appeal to you.

Cheers!

[Chessa35]

I sometimes wish Extroverts were Introverts! 
Some of them only talk about themselves, which is boring !

[Lucky Charm]

I wonder if it is easier for you to post on a public forum because it's conversation, but not physical?

I guess what I'm asking is, is it easier to not be with people in person when you're an introvert?

I don't mind my own company, but I like to enjoy the company of others, too, very much.  

It does have to do with the company I keep.  I can be in groups that I do find draining (most of my in-laws come to mind).  In those instances, I want out the door.

I like to be social, I like to socialize.  But, I don't think that's saying that I'm an extrovert. 

I have no problem talking with strangers, yet if I'm in a situation where I'm in a room with strangers like at a work function (husband's), it kind of drains me to keep an interesting conversation going. 

There is an *art* to that, but if you are talking to a wall, it's uncomfortable, draining.