How do/did you guys deal with the inevitable? - Page 3

Jordan2 · ‎03-16-2010

@Laura14 wrote:
@Jordan2 I remember your birthday post. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers and I'm saying Happy Birthday again for her and from me.

@Laura14 thank you, your very sweet.

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

@Laura14 wrote:
@ThinkingOutLoud It does, immensely.

I'm glad to hear it!

I wish there was a way to private message you but I could maybe help you find a group if you'd like.There is support out there and people who understand. We're not meant to walk alone. <3

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

By doing what I can to ensure my well being, then by the knowledge that there is a higher power than myself who will in the end take care of me. So in a word: faith. I have seen it in action.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@ThinkingOutLoud I'd love that. I actually have a lot of groups on Facebook based on a couple of my hobbies but if you know of some other good ones, I am all eyes.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14 ...I understand your concern....dh is much older than me, most likely, but not certain he will go before me. I really try to not dwell on being alone (no children together and I never had any) but it does cross my mind on occasion. My fear is not being alone, its being lonely.

I do have two friends that are like family to me since I am not close with my siblings, and sometimes friends are better than family.

I really don't think we are ever prepared for the death of a parent. I know when my mom was ill for over a year then died it still hit me pretty hard, and we knew what her life span was going to be within a few months.....and same for my dad, sometimes I do feel like an orphan but of course most of us go thru this life event and come out on the other side OK...what choice do we have?

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

OK!

@Laura14 wrote:
@ThinkingOutLoud I'd love that. I actually have a lot of groups on Facebook based on a couple of my hobbies but if you know of some other good ones, I am all eyes.

OK! What age-range do you fall under and general location (if you're comfortable sharing/can delete later)?

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

Death is the one thing all people have in common. No one can escape it.

It is emotional when it is a family member, a dog, or anyone who has touched someone's heart. But, it is a reality.

The way to deal with the inevitable is accepting it. Acceptance is not an easy matter but nor can it be denied.

You will face it when the time comes because you must. Even though you know and accept it is coming you mind does not actually accept it until it occurs and even then there is denial.

There is no easy or comfortable answer to your question. The question is an emotional one and everyone emotions and coping skills are different.

The recent death in your family had your mom thinking of her reality. Her existence is your existence life. You are thinking about what will happen to me, and that has you feeling anxious about going on and moving on.

Laura, people can prepare themselves for different things concerning death. But the bottom line is you can not do anything to avoid it, nor will you know how you will react, and what steps you will take in the future.

Laura, smile for the gift of the days ahead for your mom and for yourself.

Be happy for the gift of life of each day and thankful for the joys that surround your being. Do not dwell on tomorrow.

Be peaceful within your soul and be gentle and kind to yourself.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@chiclets Another keeper!

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@Laura14 wrote:
This past weekend, we laid my uncle to rest after years with Parkinson's.

My mom (his sister) has been making comments in the past year or so about not being here much longer. I get the train of thought. She is about 5-7 years from when her parents and now sibling passed.

She keeps up with her doctor's appointments and just had her annuals and, apparently came through with flying colors so nothing is imminent.

She said yesterday she has a lot to get done before she dies in fixing up the house where I live so that it's saleable for us when she goes and she's been at it for two weeks now. It really hit me hard and I broke down a bit last night.

How do or did you guys handle actually being alone in the world without your mom or dad? I know it's coming at some point and everyone goes through it but the anxiety is really getting to me.

I am kind of in a unique position in that I never married or had kids so my whole world is going to change forever in literally every way from not having my home anymore to possibly having to leave my job so I can move elsewhere to losing touch with my sisters who have their own families.

Just wondering if you guys have any advice for preparing for "that day" or if you just have to put it out of your mind and deal the best you can with it when it happens?

@Laura14 Hon-I highlighted that sentence because you are projecting negatives in your life that have not happened and may not happen.

I understand your mom's thinking especially with the recent loss of her brother.

It's hard to think you will lose your mom someday; I get it. I'm in a bit of a different situation since DH and I are the oldest now and both sets of parents have been gone for decades. Our siblings are miles away and phone calls are all we have left.

I get the feeling that your sisters have their own families but I am going to say you have them today and because of that you will have them tomorrow, too, God willing as far as health.

So let me say this to you-it isn't about "preparing" for the day because nobody can tell you how to "prepare". Emotionally you will not "prepare" because you can't. You can prepare for the material things but not for the feelings, not yet.

You know the sadness will be there; you know it's ok to feel some anxiety and it's ok to have a cry or two now; just don't let the future rob you of the present.

You are a very strong person; a person with a good head on her shoulders, a sense of humor, and a way of looking at things in a positive manner. Please don't lose that.

"Not all donuts come out with a hole". (Old Italian saying.)

Be well.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh