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Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

@Pook wrote:

I only buy gifts for those I want to and do not resent it.  I would rather give something wanted.  Some posters sound like they are resentful of giving a gift that would benefit the couple the most.  Who goes to a wedding and doesn't buy a gift so why not something that is really wanted?  It's not about the giver!  If anyone is so resentful then skip the wedding and don't give anything.  I find it tacky to give something not on the registry that will never be used just because the giver thinks it's a great gift.  The gifts of the past were many times just stuff that was packed away, sold at garage sales, regifted or donated.  Most couples have all the household items they need whereas in the past those getting married were just starting out.  It was financially beneficial to get common household items.  It's probably not that the couple cannot afford a honeymoon, just what the want since they will be getting gifts anyway.    Life is way different than years ago!


 

 

This is a lot how I feel. I either genuinely want to give the couple something, or I don't. I don't give because I "should" in a social sense, to those I'm not close to. So, I have no major issue with contributing towards what those I actually care about actually want. 

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Honeymoon contributions

[ Edited ]

@missy1 wrote:

Tacky


I totally agree.  Definitely my first thought upon reading this -- really tacky.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,921
Registered: ‎06-12-2013

If you give cash as a gift how can you then legislate how it is spent?

 

They may charge their honeymoon and then use the monetary wedding gifts to pay it off...same difference. It's just that you ( no one in particular) won't know.  If it makes them happy that should be intent of a gift.

 

Give a gift or not but don't complain about it how they use it.

I always give a monetary gift so they do with it what they want...isn't that the point?

 

I knew a couple who had ammo on their registry. Weird? Yes but it's what they wanted. I gave them a gift card for that place. Shrug.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,404
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I was just at a wedding last weekend, where it was the couple's 2nd marriage, they were 58 yrs old and 65 yrs old, and already have a home, so they did want money toward their Hawaii Honeymoon, even her wedding shower the invitation said please contribute to their honeymoon, as they already have everything that they need as far as home items go. For the wedding I had no problem writing a check, but for the wedding shower it felt weird. I ended up going in with some other members of my family and we purchased a visa gift card....There was no gift openin at the shower, which was a really fun shower by the way.......I guess in this instance I didn't feel it was out of line to do what they did.....

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,450
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

About 25 years ago I attended a casual outdoor wedding & unfortunately overheard some unkind remarks the newlywed couple made about a couple of the gifts they received.  I decided right then that from then on, I would only give a check & how they spend it is their business.  I would not give to a specific fund set up to pay for anything.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,810
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@NativeJax Where we live there was a lot of theft going on and a couple were finally found to be going to receptions and stealing the cards. They were caught. Now most have a person minding the cards and making sure theft does not oc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mm

"Cats are like potato chips, you can never have just one".
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

To me, this is no different than a gift registry. They are telling people what they'd like, and you can choose to do it or not. It is fine with me because they aren't asking for this in addition to a wedding gift.

 

Many people (even the young ones) have more things than they need/want, and prefer adventures and experiences.

 

If it were me, I'd find this an easy way to give them what they want.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,188
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

It's actually a great idea. This is what the couple wants and most people do give cash at weddings.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,812
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Honeymoon contributions

[ Edited ]

I am well aware so many don't like pictures but please forgive me for posting this one.. it's a must from Amazon and plays the Mickey Mouse club song when the toast pops up.. absolutely classic..  @Moonchilde, I'll be happy to delete if you want me too.  

 

VillaWare V5555-11 MICKEY Mornin Toaster

 
Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,153
Registered: ‎05-22-2012

@Moonchilde wrote:

I just stumbled across something and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Wonder how others feel.

 

Disneyworld has a Honeymoon Registry; like a BBB or Macy's gift registry, but - the couple whose announcement I saw online said "Please donate to our honeymoon in lieu of gifts."

 

In some ways I think it's good - not dealing with gifts they may not want, and being able to have a nicer honeymoon than they otherwise might. My guess is they expect to partially pay for their honeymoon in any case.

 

But it's flat asking for money, and $50-$75 won't go far for that kind of gift, for those who don't have a lot of money to spend. And I can forsee some people thinking, for example, I don't want my money spent on alcohol, etc.

 

So, I really don't know how I feel about it. My first reaction isn't "oh, nooo!" but I'm not sure it's "way to go!" either.


$50 or $75 doesn't go far, but if you invite 50 couples to the wedding, that's $2,500 - $3,750. You're not paying for the couple's honeymoon on your own.

 

I have no problem with this. People used to get married when they were young, some of them never having lived on their own before. They needed things like place settings, flatware, serving trays, rice cookers, and crock pots. Now more people get married when they are older and already have those things. 

 

Friends of mine in their 30s recently got married and used a honeymoon fund. They went to England and Ireland. They had each part of the trip broken out and you could donate a $10 portion of a $100 outing to anything higher than that. You could also mix and match. They were already scheduled to do all of those things, but chipping in means they can save more. I'm of Irish descent and used to teach archery, so I chipped in for a night at an Irish castle and some archery lessons they'd signed up for. The gift had personal aspects for both the couple and for me because of what I'd chosen to help with and I didn't have to worry about getting stuck buying something I hated from their registry because it was the only thing left in my price range. I think it was a Win-Win all around.