Community Chat

[bargainsgirl]

I just turned 69.  I have 3 grown children and 2 young grandchildren.  For the last few years the holidays are becoming a real chore for me and are not so fun except for the little kids.  I usually host thanksgiving and my daughter hosts xmass day. Xmass eve is usually iffy...There are a few blended families involved which complictes things and is stressful for me. I prefer to keep things small.  Maybe its just me or does anyone else feel this way?  I know some go all out for the holidays but I am so over that.  I did my part when my kids were small.  I am not bah humbug I have just "downsized"  my holiday spirit!!

[Malcontent]

@bargainsgirl 

Firstly: a belated 69th Happy Birthday.

Secondly: do what YOU are comfortable with. Let the young folks manage the holidays.

[Meowingkitty]

It's just my husband and me and we keep things simple. 1 tree and a few decorations. We go out for a nice dinner. Stopped buying gifts years ago. Little to no baking. Maybe a few loaves of pumpkin bread and 1 type of cookie. If there's a good movie out on Christmas Day we might take it in. 

[Love my grandkids]

@bargainsgirl Tell your family that you are not up to what you've done in the past and are downsizing. Then do it. They'll figure out something.

[RedTop]

Make whatever decision you need to make, to have a less stressful holiday.  

My MIL forced her adult children into a command Christmas performance for over 30 years.  The year she died, we ate together on Christmas Eve and everyone made the decision to do their own family celebration.  

We live 6 miles from each other and have contact throughout the year; we can do our own thing for holidays.   

[sweetee2]

You read my mind. I'm 67 and I've been thinking this for a few years now. We have all the Holidays here. I cook all the meals, all the decor,  setting the table with China and all that intel's. Buy all the Christmas gifts for 9 people. Just talking about it makes me tired, BUT they throughly enjoy it. Food is wounderful, big smiles by all, 9 pies for Thanksgiving.  Everyone gathered around the table wondering which pie to try. Everyone  gathered in the frontroom opening Christmas gifts laughing eating Quiche and Jimmy the Baker cinnamon rolls. Life couldn't get much better. It's  all about making memories  because once were gone were gone.

[justashopper]

We always have low key holidays.  it's a day off and day to relax and enjoy time together. We'll have a bigger than usual meal- ham or turkey or roast, some baked goods (baked or bought).  So it's not bah - humbug or anything, but if you aren't up for a big sha-bang, then don't do it.  

A few years ago I said to my sister-- let's not exchange this year for xmas or if you already got me something, let's make this the last year.  She was happy to stop the exchange.  No hard feelings. 

I think to be honest and give fair notice is more than considerate enough if you aren't into it anymore.  Traditions change and pass on to the next generation.... If they don't want a big to-do, then so be it.  Get together with a bucket of chicken and a store bought cake and call it a day.  

[wagirl]

yes--I am over these holidays and all that entails. I now do a few side dishes and go to my brothers house. Have 2 grown kids and no grandchildren. I live in a tiny apartment that can't hold many people. Don't feel like a Scrooge at all. And turned 68 in June.

[homedecor1]

I'm not with my family since it's expensive & impossible for all of them to come.   I enjoy the memories made for many years and it's wonderful to Skype with them.

 I'm no longer getting sad over the holidays and enjoying the day for what it is -- we don't gift other than our adult children, great niece& nephew who are under 3 and our GD.

I will decorate, host a luncheon for my few friends during the season and of course, cook for us or whoever wants to join us.  Many of our friends have lost a spouse this year so I'll extend invite to them.   Preparing & entertaining is something I enjoy so It will be a nice day. 

[BlueFinch]

Oh, @bargainsgirl , it sounds like time to pass the torch. I totally get how you are burned out with the complicated preparations and planning and would prefer something low key. Speak up and make your desires clear. 

I usually have TG with friends and we all bring a dish, so it's relaxed and easy. But for Christmas, I prefer to be alone, delivering gifts before the holiday.

When DH was alive, we had large gatherings, now I prefer to have the day for peaceful reflection. A time to focus on the meaning of the day. I love my solitary, stress free, Christmas.