Community Chat

[HisElk]

On 5/27/2014 birddrops said:

Hey Jules, hope you're feeling better after last night's debacle. I just don't understand it.

It's a brand new sunshiney day! Hope you and Mia are enjoying it!

Oops, forgot to say 'hello' to birddrops!

[JustJules]

On 5/27/2014 HisElk said:

On 5/27/2014 Jules5280 said:

On 5/27/2014 birddrops said:

Hey Jules, hope you're feeling better after last night's debacle. I just don't understand it.

It's a brand new sunshiney day! Hope you and Mia are enjoying it!

Hi birddrops, hun.... yes it is a beautiful day... blue skies, fluffy clouds, birds are singing. We still might get some more rain today, that it is much needed and will be good. Mia is awesome, being a good and curious little girl.

I don't understand the need for the nonsense either, but glad most of the remnants were swept away. I hope when Mistri does check in, she doesn't need to concern herself with mean people. Hope you have a blessed day!!!

Just stopped by for a break (we're painting the whole inside of our new house, ugh). The "institution white" needed to go and add some pastel and warm colors. Anyhow, I wanted to check the Mistri thread and hope she stops by soon to post.

Sounds like your precious Mia is keeping you busy and that sure can be a good thing for you. We've had a beautiful and sunny day here, but now it's really storming and the lightning and thunder is nasty. Hmmmmm, may have to have a break and have some popcorn. Ok, I've been too wordy (as usual), so I'll check back later.

You are never too wordy!!! I like painting... it's sort of therapeutic. I would grab a roller and help out if I could! Mia keeps me plenty busy.. lol! Like most babies, it is a constant watch. When she is quiet and not near me, I know she is up to no good!

We are supposed to get some much needed rain, so the idea of thunder and popcorn sounds really good. I also hope Mistri checks in soon.

[birddrops]

On 5/27/2014 HisElk said:

On 5/27/2014 birddrops said:

Hey Jules, hope you're feeling better after last night's debacle. I just don't understand it.

It's a brand new sunshiney day! Hope you and Mia are enjoying it!

Oops, forgot to say 'hello' to birddrops!

Hi HisElk, nice to see you today!

[HisElk]

Thought I'd drop by this thread and see if Mistri has checked in. Hope she checks in soon and knows she's missed.

[mistriTsquirrel]

Hi guys!!!

I don't know what the heck went on here while I was gone...I guess I shouldn't be too surprised though.

I apologize for not getting back here sooner.

The 28th was the one-month mark since my dad's passing. I spent most of the day reading, watching videos and doing searches about nutrition and naturopathic healing. I knew I needed to distract myself, and I felt it rather fitting that I spend my time looking further into GMOs and other things that my father had begun to investigate a few years ago. He did not go so far as to put his trust in a naturopathic doctor, but I am looking into the matter of what my options are, should I choose to remain in a country that doesn't allow deviation from the standard treatments, and I wind up with cancer (as everyone in my family does).

Anyway, I went to an appointment with my counselor earlier...and I really can't say where I'm at right now with the grieving. She asked me what I had gained from our session today, and I could only answer, "I don't know."

I feel like I'm in transition now. I looked at a couple of objects that I feel symbolize where I was a month or two ago, and they don't seem fitting anymore. They are things I will put in a shadow box as memories, I guess.

I still feel haunted by things (the percolating sound of my father's "death rattle," dreams I have of him, etc.), but when I try to talk to people about the things I think about, they look at me as though I have lost my mind. I pretty much stay away from people most of the time, because I don't need to deal with their judgmental b.s.

Each person I talk to seems to want to "weigh in" on what I should believe, what I should be thinking, how I should grieve, etc...and I'm tired of it. I also know that I could very well wind up saying things I can't take back, and that it could be to my detriment, depending on who I say them to.

I know I need to return to work soon, but I feel like a loose cannon. I know that I could wind up "going off" as soon as some a-hole does what a-holes do.

I do not yet know what I'm going to do about going back to work.

Signed,

Mad Tired Squirrel

[fortune]

Hi, Mad Tired Squirrel! So glad to hear from you--even if I'm afraid to say anything that might make you angry!! Just kidding! You are smart to get grief counseling. Even if you don't see how it is helping you, talking about your feelings is cathartic.

I had Jasper for the whole day, yesterday. He likes to play games--some that he makes up and some that I create. He's a player and a lover!!! He's going on a camping trip with his daddy this weekend! He's been before and just loves it! Everyone brings their dogs along!

(((((Mistri)))))))

[betteb]

Mistri, I'm glad you checked in.

Whatever you are thinking and feeling from day to day (or sometimes minute to minute) is what you should be feeling. Everyone grieves differently, the important thing is for you to know that, whatever you are feeling, it's ok to feel it.

I understand feeling haunted by things that happened. I wish we could talk, because you could talk to me about those things and I would understand completely.

((((((((((Mistri))))))))))))

[mistriTsquirrel]

Thanks, guys.

Well, I went back to work on Wednesday. I realized that I still hate my job.

Trying to deal with my mother is maddening, and my brother and I aren't speaking. Even though he is in town right now, I simply don't want to go over there.

I went to a grief thing at hospice, and will continue to go for group counseling.

Right now I feel like a sponge; I'm learning a lot of new things online and in books. I've become a YouTube junky (documentaries, mostly), and finish just about any book I read within 3 days. I'm confident my brain will be ready to go back to school...hopefully in the fall...not sure yet.

Anyway, I hear an angry guinea pig squealing in the other room...I must attend to his needs.

Fortune...give Jasper a kiss for me.

Love,

mistri

[fortune]

Hi, Mistri!!! So glad you're back posting! It seems like forever since we've last heard from you! You're doing the right thing by getting as much counseling as you can!! I guess absence makes the heart grow "fonder" both from your mother and brother--at least for a while!!

I'm pleased you're back at work. Even though it isn't what you like, it helps keep your mind off things!

I'm glad you're busy soaking up the knowledge right now. Your brain is probably ready for you to go back to school in the fall. Are you still going to pursue the same field?

Jasper went on a camping trip with his dad. Everyone brought their dogs and the dogs were off-leash the whole time! Jasper met a lot of new buddies and one of them, a big black lab, came into his tent and slept there all night!!!

Kisses from Jasper to you and your furry one!!