Have you ever... - Page 7

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

I agree that writing to her would be a kind thing. What strikes me is the fact that you said you never ran into anybody and yet fate had this womah cross your path twice. It would occur to me that those "chances" were fate giving the opportunity to take some of the weight off your teacher as well as yourself. I know you have said that you've been greatly bothered by what happened for all these years. I would imagine that it has weighed on her as well ..... sometimes God gives us the opportunity to do right.

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

Alice-QVC · ‎06-14-2015

Thank you for sharing your suggestion with us @AliJoi5, and I will be sure to pass it on.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@AliJoi5 wrote:
Hi @Alice-QVC - I wish there were a way posters could be given an opportunity to edit a post that didn't meet certain community standards. Because that one poster's reply that was removed had so much great stuff in it and was quite lengthy. I'm sure it took some time to compose. There was just that one brief statement about a political figure. I understand we're all supposed to know the rules and abide them, but I just think so much is lost when an entire post like that is removed. Anyway, I do think you guys are doing a great job! Just thought that was a suggestion worth mentioning for future consideration. Whether or not it is feasible, I'll leave that up to the pros. Thanks and Happy New Year!!

I didn't see what was said and removed. That said, while I like your idea, there are also some posters that just can't seem to help themselves... If the poster in question worked hard enough to develop a pertinent, useful suggestion to address your quandary, then perhaps he or she might have had the foresight to recognize what might prove to be verboten and simply stuck to the subject... Just a thought...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

Karnerblue · ‎03-18-2015

If it really bothers you and the situation arises again, I would try to right it.

"Never water yourself down just because someone can't handle you 100% proof."

1jenniferjuniper · ‎03-09-2010

@AliJoi5 wrote:
...had a misunderstanding with someone, been unable to resolve it for whatever reason, and it still bugs you? I was thinking about this today (after my Pats lost and I was wallowing in my misery). I had something like this happen my senior year of high school (!) and I still haven't been able to let it go.

My art teacher (Mrs. H) had a daughter who was profoundly deaf, but did manage to hear in some capacity with the aid of a device. Naturally, her speech was deeply affected. She was much younger and not in high school, but would often spend the day in the art room with her mother. This particular day, Mrs. H had us crowded around her desk to show us a technique. Her daughter began speaking, with difficulty of course, to take part in her mother's lesson... with Mrs. H looking on her proudly as she struggled, but persevered. Another girl in my class, I'll never forget it, little Jackie, did something silly to make me laugh, as she often did. The rest of the class had been listening intently to Mrs. H and her daughter. When I looked up, Mrs. H was shooting me a look that I thought would melt my face off. And she was a sweet woman otherwise, who I'd had for art a few years. I wanted to crawl under the desk. Mrs. H was never the same to me after that, and I've always been convinced she thought I was laughing at her daughter. Being 17 y/o at the time, I didn't attempt to right the situation the way I would have today. This has always really bothered me because it couldn't be farther from who I am as a person to behave in that manner.

I ran into Mrs. H years later at my salon... she remembered me, of course, but even less surprising was the fact that she was still cold as ice. As awkward as it may have been to do so, I was tempted to say something to her about that day in art class. But I chickened out thinking the time to correct the situation had come and gone, and that I would somehow make things worse. I once again ran into her and her husband, who had also been my English teacher, at a beach festival (I never run into anyone!!). That time, I hauled azz for the hills rather than even be seen. Yes, this is a bad Seinfeld episode, starring yours truly as George Costanza, the most immature and least tactful person to ever exist.

I know, I know, time to let it go. But man, does this one irk me. Can anyone relate?

No I can't relate. You had several chances to make things right. Sad.

1jenniferjuniper · ‎03-09-2010

@Ms X wrote:
It seems to me that it is the teacher who owes the apology if she's been hostile and nasty.

17 is old enough to know when to apologize.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@1jenniferjuniper wrote:

@Ms X wrote:
It seems to me that it is the teacher who owes the apology if she's been hostile and nasty.
17 is old enough to know when to apologize.

17 was old enough for her to know that something had gone horribly wrong, and feel bad about it even then, but many (most) of us took decades to develop the maturity to be able to come right out and either apologize or make right something that was very awkward or embarrassing to us.

This wasn't like she accidentally stepped on someone's foot when walking down the hall, and a quick "Oh, I'm sorry" is easy to do. She realized just how bad it looked right away, which made it harder to come forward. And if the teacher was cool to her from that time on, it made the process even harder on a young adult.

Yes, 17 is old enough to know WHEN to apologize, even the OP was aware of it then. But DOING it is a much harder task, that often take more experience and maturity.

AliJoi5 · ‎03-10-2010

@1jenniferjuniper wrote:

@Ms X wrote:
It seems to me that it is the teacher who owes the apology if she's been hostile and nasty.
17 is old enough to know when to apologize.

But @1jenniferjuniper, knowing when to apologize for something you've said or done isn't the issue here. Believe me, I'm well-versed in that (thanks mom!). You have to understand that this was a misunderstanding, which makes it a bit more complicated. I wasn't laughing at her daughter. I was laughing at something silly a girfriend had done. Her daughter happened to be speaking at the time. Clearing up the misunderstanding is what I wish I'd done, right then and there. But apologize? For being 17 y/o and having a natural reaction to something silly? Even I'm not that hard on myself. I do wish my girlfriend had apologized to Mrs. H and her daughter though. That would have immediately cleared the air. Thanks for your comment!

Puzzle Piece · ‎06-29-2010

I've recently had someone become a butt for no reason that would hurt them in any capacity. Things like that happen with folks. Many like to hold grudges and often do. Many just like being angry at someone - gives them a sense of drama in their life. People who hold the silly grudges are letting you know what kind of peson they really are. Toxic. Leave them to their own venom.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust

AliJoi5 · ‎03-10-2010

Well said @Mominohio, thank you!!

I have decided that, as another poster recommended (thank you @chrystaltree), I will make a donation to the HCOA. And if I see Mrs. H again, who knows, maybe the moment will be right to make amends. I appreciate all of your wonderful responses and thank you for taking the time to post!