Have you ever... - Page 6

Kalli · ‎03-11-2010

@magicmoodz wrote:
@AliJoi5

Isn't it awful how circumstances can haunt us for years?

I agree with those who have suggested you write a letter explaining what happened on that fateful day and how it has made you feel all these years. Then SEND THE LETTER.

This can do no harm and if, in fact, she has remembered you all these years for assuming you were making fun of her daughter, it will clear the air. But most importantly, I believe it will be healing to you.

I agree with magicmoodz... Write a letter. Maybe start by saying that you recently saw her and her husband and immediately thought of the wonderful experiences you had in school, specifically the great memories of things you learned in her ( or their)classes. Mention some of those positive memories. you can say how youve always been thankful for these lessons. Then mention the incident and your regret and concern that she understand you hadn't laughed. Be brief with this part. Then finish up with thanks for her dedication and sign it

I really think you will breathe a sigh of relief once you put that letter in the mail. 😊 And you might even get a letter back but if not, you will still feel better.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

What if her daughter is sick or, God forbid, dead? It could backfire if you send a letter.

handygal2 · ‎01-19-2015

The fact that it's still bothering you after all these years speaks volumes. You are a caring, sensitive person, and you fear that your former teacher thinks just the opposite. I think you will feel so much better if you free yourself from these feelings. I would definitely say something the next time you see her. I wouldn't write a note, b/c an exchange of conversation would be more productive.

~~Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the 'm' is silent.~~

magicmoodz · ‎03-16-2010

@Kalli wrote:
@magicmoodz wrote:
@AliJoi5

Isn't it awful how circumstances can haunt us for years?

I agree with those who have suggested you write a letter explaining what happened on that fateful day and how it has made you feel all these years. Then SEND THE LETTER.

This can do no harm and if, in fact, she has remembered you all these years for assuming you were making fun of her daughter, it will clear the air. But most importantly, I believe it will be healing to you.

I agree with magicmoodz... Write a letter. Maybe start by saying that you recently saw her and her husband and immediately thought of the wonderful experiences you had in school, specifically the great memories of things you learned in her ( or their)classes. Mention some of those positive memories. you can say how youve always been thankful for these lessons. Then mention the incident and your regret and concern that she understand you hadn't laughed. Be brief with this part. Then finish up with thanks for her dedication and sign it

I really think you will breathe a sigh of relief once you put that letter in the mail. 😊 And you might even get a letter back but if not, you will still feel better.

@Kalli

Beautifully stated, kalli. If I were Ali, I would use your very words!

AliJoi5 · ‎03-10-2010

Aww thanks @handygal2... very kind of you to say. I appreciate the thoughtful comment!

AliJoi5 · ‎03-10-2010

@magicmoodz wrote:
@Kalli wrote:
@magicmoodz wrote:
@AliJoi5

Isn't it awful how circumstances can haunt us for years?

I agree with those who have suggested you write a letter explaining what happened on that fateful day and how it has made you feel all these years. Then SEND THE LETTER.

This can do no harm and if, in fact, she has remembered you all these years for assuming you were making fun of her daughter, it will clear the air. But most importantly, I believe it will be healing to you.

I agree with magicmoodz... Write a letter. Maybe start by saying that you recently saw her and her husband and immediately thought of the wonderful experiences you had in school, specifically the great memories of things you learned in her ( or their)classes. Mention some of those positive memories. you can say how youve always been thankful for these lessons. Then mention the incident and your regret and concern that she understand you hadn't laughed. Be brief with this part. Then finish up with thanks for her dedication and sign it

I really think you will breathe a sigh of relief once you put that letter in the mail. 😊 And you might even get a letter back but if not, you will still feel better.
@Kalli

Beautifully stated, kalli. If I were Ali, I would use your very words!

Agreed @magicmoodz! Beautifully written post... thank you both for your comments!!

magicmoodz · ‎03-16-2010

@Ms X wrote:
What if her daughter is sick or, God forbid, dead? It could backfire if you send a letter.

I don't understand. How would the death of her daughter be a factor in Ali trying to right a perceived wrong? If you know anything about the healing of grief, you must know that this act of kindness would be cathartic.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

@magicmoodz wrote:
@Ms X wrote:
What if her daughter is sick or, God forbid, dead? It could backfire if you send a letter.
I don't understand. How would the death of her daughter be a factor in Ali trying to right a perceived wrong? If you know anything about the healing of grief, you must know that this act of kindness would be cathartic.

I would at least Google the daughter's name before I mailed it or ask how she was if I knew anyone who would know before I sent it. Depending on the timing, it could be awkward or even upsetting. Don't forget that we are talking about someone from many years past. I don't think she should send a letter, but if she does it wouldn't be a bad idea to check into the status of her daughter.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@Ms X wrote:
@magicmoodz wrote:
@Ms X wrote:
What if her daughter is sick or, God forbid, dead? It could backfire if you send a letter.
I don't understand. How would the death of her daughter be a factor in Ali trying to right a perceived wrong? If you know anything about the healing of grief, you must know that this act of kindness would be cathartic.
I would at least Google the daughter's name before I mailed it or ask how she was if I knew anyone who would know before I sent it. Depending on the timing, it could be awkward or even upsetting. Don't forget that we are talking about someone from many years past. I don't think she should send a letter, but if she does it wouldn't be a bad idea to check into the status of her daughter.

The teacher might think it's weird that op would look up her address. I would see if maybe op sees the teacher again, and talk to her. Maybe the teacher didn't even recognize op, like she thought.

AliJoi5 · ‎03-10-2010

Hi @Anonymous - I wish there were a way posters could be given an opportunity to edit a post that didn't meet certain community standards. Because that one poster's reply that was removed had so much great stuff in it and was quite lengthy. I'm sure it took some time to compose. There was just that one brief statement about a political figure. I understand we're all supposed to know the rules and abide them, but I just think so much is lost when an entire post like that is removed. Anyway, I do think you guys are doing a great job! Just thought that was a suggestion worth mentioning for future consideration. Whether or not it is feasible, I'll leave that up to the pros. Thanks and Happy New Year!!