Community Chat

[Lila Belle]

I can't understand why someone, anyone, doing something nice like paying it forward bothers people so much.

To answer the OP's question, yes.

[Suziepeach]

I paid for a couple EMT's drinks and snacks one morning, they were ahead of us.. told the clerk to ring ours along with it.. both men were very grateful!

[Jig Saw]

On 9/14/2014 terrier3 said:

On 9/13/2014 sophiamarie said:

I think it would be insulting to randomly pay for someone in line behind me. They just might not appreciate it....

How would it be insulting? It's a gesture to make someone's day a little brighter.

Many people who have received this gift turn around and pick up the tab (or a part of it) for the person behind THEM in line.

I've seen instances where over 100 people keep the gesture going at a drive thru.

For every one person insulted, there would be at least 999 who would be surprised and pleased!

I'd take that chance any day!

So how is exchanging niceties really helping anyone? Oh I know it makes the person DOING it feel good. To me that is for purely selfish reasons certainly not the desire to help someone in need, just as the motive of this thread has done for the OP and all the "nice" people responding.

[Jig Saw]

On 9/14/2014 Lila Belle said:

I can't understand why someone, anyone, doing something nice like paying it forward bothers people so much.

To answer the OP's question, yes.

Because by announcing it or bringing it to everyone's attention kind of defeats the purpose and as I already said exchanging niceties really means nothing. Go out and do something for someone who really needs it or doesn't have the means to pay it forward.

[Pook]

On 9/14/2014 minkbunny said:

Pook, it is just a random act of kindness.

People at church today will bring fresh vegetables from their gardens to share with others. We will get a basket of wonderful tomatoes, zucchini, peppers, cucumbers, etc.

Can we afford vegetables? Yes.

Are we grateful these people were kind enough to share? Yes.

Do they also share with the food pantry in town? Yes.

All random acts of kindness. All appreciated.

I can understand bringing produce to share if someone has a lot or even baked goods, etc but to pay for the person's order behind you (unless you overhear them saying they've had a bad day or something and everyone keeps doing it, to me, isn't a random act of kindness but craziness. To pay for someone's meal who has well behaved kids or an elderly couple who you notice who you have a conversation with or serviceman and 1st responders makes sense. Random acts of kindness are also more like helping an elderly person with their packages or to find their car in a large parking lot or holding a door for a handicapped person or a woman with several kids in tow with packages, shoveling a handicapped or elderly person's walk or mowing the lawn of a person who is having medical issues, or paying for someone to do it, etc. A lot of those things take time and it's easier to just pay for the person's coffee behind you than to spend time helping someone who actually needs help and then pat yourself on the back about it.

[Jig Saw]

Very true, Pook.

[minkbunny]

I respect other's views but will say again,

all random acts of kindness are appreciated.

[sidsmom]

On 9/13/2014 bluegrassbaby said:

We gave the cashier $20 and said let it pay for as many as it will.

Starbucks. I'm retired...so if someone is not behind me, I always let the car in ahead of me. Everyone's off to work & in such a hurry...they show their appreciation by getting me coffee. I do the 'pay it forward car behind me' but I like the idea of giving the cashier $...able to show the love to MORE people!

Thanks for starting this discussion!

[terrier3]

On 9/14/2014 Pook said:

I can understand bringing produce to share if someone has a lot or even baked goods, etc but to pay for the person's order behind you (unless you overhear them saying they've had a bad day or something and everyone keeps doing it, to me, isn't a random act of kindness but craziness. To pay for someone's meal who has well behaved kids or an elderly couple who you notice who you have a conversation with or serviceman and 1st responders makes sense. Random acts of kindness are also more like helping an elderly person with their packages or to find their car in a large parking lot or holding a door for a handicapped person or a woman with several kids in tow with packages, shoveling a handicapped or elderly person's walk or mowing the lawn of a person who is having medical issues, or paying for someone to do it, etc. A lot of those things take time and it's easier to just pay for the person's coffee behind you than to spend time helping someone who actually needs help and then pat yourself on the back about it.

Doing one kind act doesn't mean people won't do the others you suggested.

Kindness leads to MORE kindness, IMO.

[Cakers1]

On 9/14/2014 terrier3 said:

On 9/14/2014 Pook said:

I can understand bringing produce to share if someone has a lot or even baked goods, etc but to pay for the person's order behind you (unless you overhear them saying they've had a bad day or something and everyone keeps doing it, to me, isn't a random act of kindness but craziness. To pay for someone's meal who has well behaved kids or an elderly couple who you notice who you have a conversation with or serviceman and 1st responders makes sense. Random acts of kindness are also more like helping an elderly person with their packages or to find their car in a large parking lot or holding a door for a handicapped person or a woman with several kids in tow with packages, shoveling a handicapped or elderly person's walk or mowing the lawn of a person who is having medical issues, or paying for someone to do it, etc. A lot of those things take time and it's easier to just pay for the person's coffee behind you than to spend time helping someone who actually needs help and then pat yourself on the back about it.

Doing one kind act doesn't mean people won't do the others you suggested.

Kindness leads to MORE kindness, IMO.

Agree.