Community Chat

[steiny3844]

There is a case in the news right now that I can't make my mind up about what should happen to him. Several women have accused him of harrassment in the late 80s and 90s. He has issued a statement saying how sorry he is for treating his coworkers this way.

In the same statement, he realized, himself, how wrong this behavior was and got help. There have been  no reports of this kind of behavior after this time period to this day so far.

If his statement is true, should he lose his reputation and job, even though his behavior has completely changed? I really can't make up my mind.

[Tinkrbl44]

I started this thread because it also happens to women OUTSIDE the entertainment business all the time.   Yet some posters just can't seem to understand that, and only want to talk about HW etc.   

Are you even aware of the women you know that this has happened to?   

[Tinkrbl44]

Several have posted that this kind of behavior has to stop ... and women need to come forward.   While there certainly should be serious repercussions for men who are predators, I think embarrassment and humiliation will also be somewhat of a deterrent.    Men count on women not speaking up, and many women are definitely afraid to.   

Predators need to be "outed" .... and their employers need to terminate them.

[Financialgrl]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

I started this thread because it also happens to women OUTSIDE the entertainment business all the time.   Yet some posters just can't seem to understand that, and only want to talk about HW etc.   

Are you even aware of the women you know that this has happened to?   

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As I stated above, mine was the typical military story.  Think that's stopped - 'NOT" cuz the papers are still filled with stories and the military are even more protected bc their "justice" happens within their own environment by their peers.  It often allows for forced retirement or transferred to some undesirable post tucked away till they are eiligible to retire and continues at the new place.  In our command, years after what I experienced there was an Admiral caught in the act - his punishment was forced retirement - - with that huge pension, big da*n deal!  

A year later went to work for a contractor for huge bucks so now his pay is doubled and back in Navy spaces at a command down the street.  This is exactly what a handful of female congresswomen/senators are working to stop - moving their trial/punishment outside the military environment.  It's no different than the colleges - "we'll  handle it here" but for colleges it's bc of the image and money they'd lose if their enrollment declines.  Colleges also do it to protect their truly stupid football players/athletes who, many didn't get in due to their academic success - only bc they are good at sports and they are there hoping to get plucked out of the lineup for the NFL where they are REALLY protected. 

Women are learning though, many run it up the chain AND go to the police at the same time. 

[chiclet]

It is a tough subject.  I think it is about power.  He who holds it has the most control.  I also think common sense needs to be involved to.  It is not right but since the beginning of time men have had the most control and women had one weapon to use against a man.  Things have changed but not enough.  When I say common sense I mean refuse to meet someone in a hotel room.  Don't go to a business meeting in a top with your boobs spilling out.  I know that there are probably a lot of good men who won't take advantage of a woman but I think you are better off assuming they are not good and take every precaution.  Those women stuck in jobs supporting their families and being sexually harassed is such a sad situation.  I hope we are on the verge of all that changing.  

[ROMARY]

I'll be back later for details:  What about a certain family member who purposely over-squeeze tight hugs and then a very loud kiss in a person's ear (resulting in loud, lingering ringing).  Even after a person (me) has gently complained that it's a hurtful ear-kiss.   (Two brothers, in their late fifties/early sixties.)  When I gently embarrased the first one in front of his in-laws a few months ago, (I said something like: 'OMgosh, every time you do that my ear rings for an hour' and also mentioned to be careful squeezing me so hard) ,he has stopped and is being more careful and gentle, thank goodness.  Now, lately,  the other brother seems to have 'taken-over' in place of his older brother.   This last time (yesterday), he, at first, looked as though he was going to hug me gentally, but instead it was double very hard squeezes (twice) (taking my breath away) as I was leaving by the front door.  And then a very loud kiss in my ear (he actually turned my head so he could get to my ear after his 'squeeze'-hugs).  This time a very, very loud kiss which resulted in a lingering high-pitched ear ringing.  Now I'm wondering if he slightly injured my ear drum.  Anyway, it just seems 'odd' that someone would go out of their way to discomfort an older relative's rib cage and ear.   I know, sounds 'petty' and fairly insignificant in the scheme of more important things mentioned on this thread, but what can one do when it's a relative?  Just thought I'd throw this into the mix, as minor of a complaint that it is.  I'm guessing it's just an obsessive 'game' to get in his 'last laugh', so to speak.  (Btw, they don't act this way with other women cousins or family members.  Just me.) 

[blackhole99]

The work place can be rife with sexual harassment for sure and we all need our jobs. The first job I had as a ward clerk in a small community hospital was an eye opener for me. I was only 23 ,newly married and there was a doctor who would not leave me alone and was not shy about who was around when he harassed me. I guess he thought because he was a doc the ladies welcomed his advances. One day he followed me into an exam room, cornered me and tried to kiss me. I told him I was not interested and if he ever approached me again, I would have my husband come to the hospital and speak with him. He abruptly left the room and never bothered me again. I think we do have to ****** this behavior in the bud so to speak, no matter what it costs. The older I got, I was able to just tell the docs to back off or I was going to HR. They didn't like me after that and it was harder to work with them, but they left me alone. These were married doctors by the way.

[occasionalrain]

Yes, harassment happens everywhere but it isn't confined to men harrassing women. It's just as likely to be a woman harrassing a man or another woman. It's someone with power toward someone with less or none.  The male bashing on this BB is rampant and this thread is a prime example of it.

[Cakers3]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

Yes, harassment happens everywhere but it isn't confined to men harrassing women. It's just as likely to be a woman harrassing a man or another woman. It's someone with power toward someone with less or none.  The male bashing on this BB is rampant and this thread is a prime example of it.

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@occasionalrain  I have a so-so agreement with your post.

I knew a woman who was given a "written warning" for sexual harassment-because she used the word "Hon" to another woman.  The "offended" woman felt uncomfortable.

Seriously. 

It had nothing to do with "being uncomfortable"; it had to do with an upcoming opening which included a promotion. 

I have to say that women are more apt to be harassed but yes, men can be harassed, too.  The key in many of these situations is what one views as offensive may not be viewed as such by another.

Blatent crude remarks and threats of being terminated if one does not have sex with a superior are one thing; but a casual "your hair looks nice" is hardly grounds to cry harassment.