Re: Guilt trips

sylviahomeatlast · ‎03-11-2010

I'm not guilty. No one can make me feel so.

dooBdoo · ‎06-27-2010

On 11/7/2014 happy housewife said:
It depends upon the situation. You may be a guilty party and may NEED to listen - not just hear - but actually listen - to the other parties POV. I see that did not occur to those who answered here though.

You might want to re-read all the posts. There are many to whom it occurred.

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova

kdgn · ‎03-09-2010

On 11/7/2014 Ford1224 said:
Yes, good ole' hindsight, my nemesis. I did think at the time I was doing the right thing. So I have to walk away from this on my own, as the rest of you have.

Ford, having hindsight at the time (which we never will) might change a decision you made but that doesn't mean the outcome would change in any way. Someone would still be angry, whether it's you or the other party; someone's feelings would still be hurt; a financial disaster might be averted only to come again at a different time under the same or similar circumstances.

That's why we try and operate under the information we have and make a decision based on the options available. It's a choice we make and sometimes we're right and sometimes it turns out we weren't. But objectively, most of the time our gut instincts were correct in the first place.

Lakk · ‎03-10-2010

It took me years but I walk away now and I live by the saying "your opinion of me does not concern me." In this life I only have to live, die and pay taxes and I only have to answer for myself and my actions in the next life and with that I am very comfortable. Life is far too short, don't let anyone control you.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Seldom is anything black and white, seldom is one person totally right and the other wrong. If someone tries to use guilt to make you do something you don't want to do like a volunteer job than a sorry I just can't works. If it's a personal relationship it's better to listen and try to be objective, to look at it from their point of view. It never hurts to apologize for causing another hurt feelings even when they're in the wrong.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

The only people who ever tried to guilt trip me were my daughters and that was when they were teenagers. Kids are so good at it! lol They are grown women now and off living their own lives. So, no one pulls that on me anymore.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

Thanks for all of your interesting answers. I didn't necessarily want this question to be about "me" and "my issues." I was just curious how most of you would handle guilt trips, and it seems you are all very strong women who would just walk away. So thanks again. Smile

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

kittymomNC · ‎08-09-2012

On 11/7/2014 chickenbutt said:
I agree with 'walk away'.

One of my mantras is - 'you cannot reason with the unreasonable.' It's just not worth the time, effort, or headspace, IMO.

Your post struck a chord with me (see my sig), and I do my best to "walk away", but sometimes I do have to stand my ground, depending on what it's about.... ${#emotions_dlg.ohmy}$

Preds · ‎12-17-2012

On 11/7/2014 kittymomNC said:
On 11/7/2014 chickenbutt said:
I agree with 'walk away'.

One of my mantras is - 'you cannot reason with the unreasonable.' It's just not worth the time, effort, or headspace, IMO.

Your post struck a chord with me (see my sig), and I do my best to "walk away", but sometimes I do have to stand my ground, depending on what it's about.... ${#emotions_dlg.ohmy}$

Nothing wrong with standing your ground, saying your piece and then walk away holding your head high.

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."