Community Chat

[Rockycoast]

If it were me I would be just as adamant about going out to dinner. Tell him No, reservations are already made. You have been wanting to try this restaurant and he is spoiling your fun. It would be different if his food was any good to eat. It isn’t. If they are good friends, they will respect your wishes in your home.

[LizzieInSRQ]

I dont think the solution needs to be nasty, rude, drunk or hyper territorial or LIE to a FRIEND as some here have suggested. ( Lot of bravado going on in the thread wow, i could never be so rude) i can snip things in the bud when it comes to my own hosting so that its clear, cheerful and set.

Simple and clear but not rude or deceitful. Just keep it simple and that is that and move on. No need for explainations. You are the host. If youve allowed it for years, that doesnt mean it cant change starting today. If they wonder why, let them wonder. Keep that convo present and forward moving. 

A happy cheery voiced  " oh, no thank you, we have got this all covered! Cant wait to see you guys" at first. If he keeps insisting, you keep it simple without any need to be insulting... "Nope, thats sweet of you but its all planned. Gonna be fun to visit with you guys! you can cook when we come visit you" ( or something like that IF you feel the need to say that, but you dont have to) THEN..Change the subject to whatever you may be doing when they are there  like have you tried pickleball/seen King King vs. Godzilla/have a picnic down at the quarry/seen the sunset from______.....cant wait to play Pictionary/go listen to the band at Roscoe's/Paint &Sip with ya'all.

[LizzieInSRQ]

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@Biftu wrote:

Thanks everybody for your thoughts on this situation.  Some of you gals are tough!  Yes I'm annoyed and did my best to persuade him even sending him restaurant options, and emphasized how we would rather go out or order in.  Personally I think it is just weird.  Never heard of anybody doing this.  I'm kind of surprised his wife thinks this is ok and even may like his new cooking passion since she no longer has to cook!  I am a people pleaser which doesn't always work to my advantage so I'll just go along with it this visit, but never again.  Other than this new cooking thing they are a nice couple and we will enjoy our time together, other than the meal!

I'll look forward to whatever desert I make.

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So you posted and four hours later its already a done deal. Im not sure why you posted if you had already settled on the situation. I thought you were asking how to approach this. 

[lgfan]

I don't understand about cleaning up after the guy. What does his wife do while he is cooking? Doesn't she help with the clean up?

[Still Raining]

Your house, your rules.

"No" can be a complete sentence.  One of life's best lessons.

[ajsidney12]

We always have to cook something when we travel due to my daughter's severe food allergies. That includes whenever we are on vacation.  We always do the cooking unless the family member insists as everyone is very cautious and they know the rules for her food and it's preparation. With this in mind though, my DH will cook holiday meals or nice dinners when we visit for the rest of us AND he does all the cleanup.  When people visit us, there is no issue if they want to cook, but that is not very often at all. Our visitors are usually seniors or family members with kids, and everyone always is ready for take out or hitting a restaurant. 

ETA just be honest if they are real friends. Explain that you would like to rest and relax without cleanup and setting a table, etc. It is very presumptuous (the couple)  think this is fun for you. Your house your rules.

[Sooner]

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@IMW wrote:

@Sooner agreed

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@IMW I hope you didn't mind that I posted that to you.  I just said that under your name because I didn't think it would be contradicting what you said and I've respected your posts a long time. . . 

[CelticCrafter]

I don't even like people that live here doing any of the cooking!

[panda1234]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

i wouldnt be crazy about it, BUT, i also would not want to insult them, so i would just deal with it. it is difficult for me to have others in "my kitchen."  i would also make sure to take them out for a dinner and let them know ahead of time.

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@sunshine45 @trust me you can not insult people like this. 

[faeriemoon]

I have no advice.  I think something is wrong with this guy.  You have said you don't want to do this and the GUESTS are insisting.  That's crazy; who does that?