Community Chat

[velveteenb]

hihi Jules --

what Noel said.

i'm sorry to be just getting back to you now. i hope you took (or will take) us with you today. sometimes, when i've had to do hard things alone, i have printed out encouraging posts and literally brought them with me.

whether you chose to do it tangibly or in spirit, we are with you as much or as little as you choose in the days ahead. there are so many here who care, Jules. we are here!

bunny. tdcr.

[scotttie]

Thinking of you today Jules.

As you probably remember from your mom your emotions will be up and down and all over the place at times.

We are here to listen when you need us.

[LadyAlice]

Dear Jules: My heart goes out to you. Please be kind to yourself as you were a wonderful daughter to your Dad. It's very hard to lose your parents when you were so close to them. They were lucky to have a caring daughter like you. God bless you. LadyAlice

[JustJules]

Thank you all again for the kind thoughts. I haven't posted because the past couple days have been truly difficult. I knew it would kick in eventually... I postponed the mortuary visit until Tuesday because on Monday there were just too many phone calls rehashing the whole thing, too many decisions to make on my own. I just had to shut it out because I couldn't deal with anymore. On top of it all, my car had been acting up again, and although my neighbor had offered assistance to me, she was not aware of my appointment and happened to be out. I could have postponed it, but needed to just get it done... so I ended up taking the small little go-around city shuttle, carrying all the paperwork and pictures. Of course the route that picked me up would take about an hour to drop me off at the mortuary... probably could have walked it in the same amount of time. Talk about when it rains, it pours. I chose to see my dad one final time, and was glad I did. He looked far more peaceful then he did in those moments after he died. The difficult part wasn't seeing him again because I knew what to expect... it was the paperwork and decisions and selecting an urn... all by myself. At least the lady at the mortuary was nice enough to give me a ride home. I am furious that the Hospice people that said they would "be there" for my dad and me, would be our advocates, have stopped caring. The chaplain is the only one that really followed up, and he said he would have their grief counselor contact me, but that was 2 days ago, and she never did. They let "us" down the entire way. I have so many details and decisions on my plate, sorting out bills and policies, etc. It's a scary time, and I can't say I haven't considered giving up, but puppy keeps me going. She doesn't let me stay in bed crying all day, she makes me get up to feed her and take her for walks... she has been a blessing in that regard, even though she is still in difficult puppy-mode and decides to chew on my shoe instead of on her yummy bones. I am glad to have her, although she is a lot to handle on top of everything else, she seems to understand when she needs to get tough with me. Other times she is such a lovebug and perfectly well behaved.

Today was a challenge too, lots of phone calls to deal with financial stuff, medical bills, etc.... had to have my car towed to get the battery finally replaced, only to find out it also will need the alternator very soon, and those aren't cheap. The mortuary cremation services alone are $3500... meanwhile I am trying to find a "real job" since I could not work outside the home during the time I was caring for my dad because I couldn't leave him for long periods of time. What's the going rate to sell a kidney these days?...kidding of course.

Anyway, it's been a long day, and more of the same decisions await me tomorrow/today, so I need to try to sleep. I wish all this stuff could wait so I could have proper time to fall apart and grieve, but the world doesn't stop. Your continued prayers would be appreciated.

[Marienkaefer2]

Jules, you need to remember to make yourself focus on one thing at a time.

My advice would be, put the job hunt on the back burner. Focus on getting things for your dad taken care of...what needs to be done next? And don't think.about anything else until that is done.

I know it's overwhelming..I've been there and it's hard. But you'll do it ...just focus on one thing at a time. It's good you have your dog, because she helps re direct your focus to the present moment..and you need that now.

Get enough rest so you can handle what needs to be done. You'll come through...there will.be light again!

[AnikaBrodie]

Jules ... I just read your early morning post and want you to know our prayers are with you as you grieve the loss of your dad. I'm pleased you decided to view your dad one last time as this will give you more closure. We know all too well how overwhelming you feel right now at all that has to be done having gone through it with my dad and mother-in-law. Just take one day at a time.

As a side note we are grieving along with you as we lost Brodie, our beloved cairn terrier, on Wednesday morning. I have a post on the Pet Lovers forum with a few details on his passing. I'm sure Brodie has already met Chinook and they're becoming fast friends. Please keep your new puppy close by as she will help you through the days and weeks ahead.

Please take care of yourself and post when you're able to do so. (((((Hugs))))) from all of us. Until later ...

[JustJules]

On 4/24/2014 AnikaBrodie said:

Jules ... I just read your early morning post and want you to know our prayers are with you as you grieve the loss of your dad. I'm pleased you decided to view your dad one last time as this will give you more closure. We know all too well how overwhelming you feel right now at all that has to be done having gone through it with my dad and mother-in-law. Just take one day at a time.

As a side note we are grieving along with you as we lost Brodie, our beloved cairn terrier, on Wednesday morning. I have a post on the Pet Lovers forum with a few details on his passing. I'm sure Brodie has already met Chinook and they're becoming fast friends. Please keep your new puppy close by as she will help you through the days and weeks ahead.

Please take care of yourself and post when you're able to do so. (((((Hugs))))) from all of us. Until later ...

Oh dear Anika, I am so sorry for your loss of Brodie. I think I once told you that I loved your name because Brodie was the name of my parents Sheltie, then I decided to get Chinook for me. They played together and Brodie was like a big brother to Nook. I am sure they are all romping and playing together now, without pain or suffering. My deepest condolences to you and your DH. Even in your own grief you still reach out to me and provide support... you are such a kind and lovely lady. You would be a joy to spend time with. I know that no words are quite enough in your time of sorrow, but it gives me comfort to think they are all in a far better place....your Brodie, my parents Brodie, and Nook... all just happy and waiting on us. Through our tears and grief, I know if there is a doggy park in heaven, I could find my dad there playing with them all, and he will take good care of your dear Brodie. My heartfelt (((hugs))) to you sweet friend.

[bathina]

I'm so sorry to read this Jules. So sorry for your loss.

[velveteenb]

hihi Jules (and puppy) --

i just read your most recent post, from early on the 24th. have you gotten some sleep since then? been able to eat and drink? i hope so.

yay for puppy! thank goodness you have her both for motivation and companionship. what a blessing she has been to you already, despite the chewed-up shoe(s)!

and now it's the weekend. i hope it will be a couple of days to catch your breath. days when maybe the world's requests seem less urgent. you are encouraged to take time to stay still and breathe. feel the earth solid beneath your feet. see the sun or moon above you. just be.

you are, of course, at any point allowed to ask for help. yes, it's crummy that the chaplain said the grief counselor would call, and nothing happened. you can call them to make an appointment. or ask your doctor for a referral to a different counselor. you shouldn't (and don't) have to get through this alone. you're very strong and smart and even your signature quotes attest to your ability to get things done ... and you are *still* not required to do it all yourself. i promise.

please post as you wish and are able. my good thoughts and wishes have not stopped heading toward you.

bunny. tdcr.

[Preds]

Dropping in to give you a hug and puppy a belly rub. Hope you are trying to rest a little. Catch a catnap when you can, sweetie. Sending you strength and blessings.