Community Chat

[SeaMaiden]

I am 62..... I do not want fine China...I like my electronics!   And using them at table!  Could care less if my plates match or if I use the wrong fork.  These are not important  things  at all. You just need to change with the times  or be left in the dust.  Oh, I  do not dust either 😁.

[ROMARY]

'All in all', I like the idea of person-to-person verbal communication.  At meals and in other places.  It just seems (to me) that it's a good idea, brain function-wise.  I don't have any facts or links, but it's just the way I feel.  Eye contact with other human beings could be important.  Again, not a scientific statement.

[Mominohio]

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@blackhole99 wrote:

My 33 year old son is a millennial and he was raised with the china, silver and crystal and would not spend 1 cent on it. The only fine thing he wants from us is our grandfather clock. Technology is their thing and their future, although I don't want to see a phone by his side when we have dinner together and he knows it. I think if you raise your kids to be respectful and you tell them what is expected, technology will not ruin them and they will teach their own children well. Technology should not replace family time.

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Do you wonder @blackhole99, that if so many people of the older generations didn't find value in things like china, crystal etc. or lost the 'love' for it, will this newer generation have a revelation, and find the technology to be of little value, or regret the time wasted that they spent not only using it but earning the money to acquire and maintain it (like some feel about their china and crystal being a waste of time and money in their lives in the past or now)?

I anticipate a day where these millennials will turn away from so much technology in their lives (of course there really isn't any going back totally), and regret being so involved in it and the social media connected to it. I've heard it some, from my nephew already, who is in his mid 20's.

[Mominohio]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@SeasonedCitizen wrote:

Point well taken--stopped posting years ago because I didn't want to put a caveat on every posting. I realize we don't all have the same views but I mistakenly thought we could express what we thought without offending others. If you really read what I posted you will notice I wasn't critizing anyone for their lifestyle.

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@SeasonedCitizen

You most certainly were taking a swing at the younger generation, and for a ridiculous reason, table settings 🙄

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Wasn't my interpretation of the post at all. Seems one can't post anything here about liking the past, loving tradition, or believing that their life was good in the past, that someone (or a bunch of someones) work hard to 'misinterpret' it.

[Moonchilde]

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@Ms tyrion2 wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Marienkaefer2 wrote:

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@jaxs mom wrote:

What is it about so many of the posters here that you're so threatened by people living their lives differently than you did? Why are so many closed minded that other people can live lives of joy and value and have different priorities than you have? 

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@jaxs mom

Wow, I was just about to write something similar to this!

It seems like the real issue for some people is that not everyone does things the way "they" do.

Perhaps years ago, more people "conformed."  There was "a way" you were supposed to be.  Everybody had "good china" for example.

But a lot of those types of things have gone by the wayside as people decide what works best for THEM.

Live and let live.  If one person loves fancy china and silverware at a holiday party, go for it. I love it too.

If another person uses paper plates and plastic forks, I'll have fun there, too.

It's the people that make it, not the trappings.

Now, if we're talking only about technology, I agree that people sometimes seem a bit wrapped up in it.

But that also is something that we can do nothing about, except within our own families perhaps.

In other words, that Pandora's box is open, and it's not closing.  

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@Marienkaefer2, @jaxs mom,

Brava, ladies. 

It isn't just on this forum, but we see a surprising amount of it here.

People who seem to have serious difficulty accepting or tolerating anything that's different from their (often pretty narrow) frame of reference. Manners, morals, ways to speak, ways to dress, child-rearing, electronic devices, Medicine, taste, possessions, ways to take a breath - you name it, someone will be complaining about how it isn't "their way/their preference/their POV" and therefore, society, the current younger generations and just anyone and anything they don't like are reason for a slap at some group, or theoretical group, because it's not "their way."

And people wonder why Boomers and those older can have the reputation of being old fuddy-duddies. That's exactly why. 

Live and let live. What others do in their own homes, with their own families, is no one else's concern. 

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Ladies, please scoot over and let me sit with you. 

I am in my 60s. I never wanted China or Sterling flatware. I don't care for fussy home decor. I don't think all antiques are beautiful. I don't think the "old" ways were all special.

I like technology.  I have and use a cell phone. Sometimes I eat dinner while reading or (gasp) in front of the TV.  If that's going to hell in a handbasket, I'm there   

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I'm somewhere in between, @Ms tyrion2. I love antiques and history and tend to revere "old things" simply because they're old, sometimes. I had table settings not based on price or how much people would notice them, but simply on what I thought looked attractive and appropriate. I've understood forever, I think, that everyone has their own taste, and a right to their own taste. I don't have to love, honor and respect my mother's or grandmother's taste and keep all their "things" in order to prove that I loved, honored and respected them. I also don't feel the need to do everything they did or to be just like them.

Family time around the dinner table wasn't invariably loving warmth and bonding. It was often forcing kids to talk to their parents because the parents would become angry with them if they didn't. It could be a neverending source of discomfort for the kids. And parents weren't always trying to "bond", often they were just throwing their weight around and being controlling and bombastic.

There is no "all" in this except that all family dynamics are unique, and the way any one person grew up is not necessarily the way "all" or "most" of their peers did. 

I have eagerly embraced technology. Will I always keep up with all of it, forever? No - it won't all continue to be relevant to me as I age. But I will also never denigrate technology as the ruination of Civilization As We Know It.

[Mominohio]

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@golding76 wrote:

Something just hit me!  In regard to the end of my post on page 6, perhaps your grandchildren will want your "stuff."  As we know, the pendulum always swings.  (Remember the minimalist, out-in-nature weddings of the '60s that gave way to the opulent weddings of the '80s?  Yes, both sorts were available in the '60s and the '80s, but each decade had a "look.")

I did not like my mother's taste in china or silver, but I adored my grandmother's taste, as I wrote on page 6.  Maybe our children will agree to be "caretakers" for the succeeding generation (their children) who just might swing back to other side and want things that are beautiful, more specifically, our beautiful things.  No one knows which way this will go.

Honestly, I liked my grandmother's taste in furniture and decor more than my own mother's.  I loved my mother but not her taste in those objects.  Maybe wanting objects/not wanting objects will skip a generation, too.   

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Yes! I said something similar to this in another thread. I think that in a generation or two yet to come, all the things found useless in the finer dining implements will be once again, highly desired and nostalgic!

[Moonchilde]

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@Mominohio wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@SeasonedCitizen wrote:

Point well taken--stopped posting years ago because I didn't want to put a caveat on every posting. I realize we don't all have the same views but I mistakenly thought we could express what we thought without offending others. If you really read what I posted you will notice I wasn't critizing anyone for their lifestyle.

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@SeasonedCitizen

You most certainly were taking a swing at the younger generation, and for a ridiculous reason, table settings 🙄

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Wasn't my interpretation of the post at all. Seems one can't post anything here about liking the past, loving tradition, or believing that their life was good in the past, that someone (or a bunch of someones) work hard to 'misinterpret' it.

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It's entirely possible to enjoy the past, and even to express a wish or two that things were still that way - without commenting on "younger people/generations" and who or what is/are "ruining things" and insinuating that life today is in whatever way inferior to that perfect past age.

I would suggest that if so many people are seeing the thread differently than you and the OP, a re-think as to words used might be beneficial.

[Mominohio]

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@Sooner wrote:

I don't understand the modern trend to dislike china and then haul home tons of holiday decor to be dusted and stored.  

I can't think why one set of 12 place settings of china takes up tons of space.  I can't think why people wouldn't enjoy a pretty table setting for a special meal or for guests.  Especially today when there is so much emphasis on updating homes and paint colors and decor.  Then you want to NOT have a pretty table setting?  Don't get it.

Most modern china goes in the dishwasher.  There are lots of beautiful glasses that aren't crystal, but lovely glass in clear and every color under the rainbow.

To me, it's a special thing and about making guests feel special.  I think we need a lot more of that in this world.  So what's wrong with that?  I don't understand the negative feelings about good dishes.  

We were dirt poor but we had a set of "special" (cheap) dishes for company.  We were always excited to get them out and happy that people were going to eat on the "good" dishes!  And the pretty green TG&Y glasses.  We never took for granted that we were able to do that.  

Maybe it's because I was raised poor that those things are dear to me.

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I agree, and you make a lot of sense, in that people are putting tens of thousands ( some places way more) into kitchens and dining rooms, top of the line everything, but then don't want to set a pretty table? 

No, it doesn't have to be china, but a beautiful and well set table has always been a sign of respect and love for those that will gather at it. It has always been seen as a compliment to the good food and the good company that will be brought to the table. 

Shame that some people never had that, or don't want it. It really is a wonderful thing to experience, and to give to those you love.

[suzyQ3]

Ah, yes, the wonderful family dinner where people conversed about topics and expressed their differing opinions.

Wake up. It didn't always go so well, especially if you threw in a martini or three. And especially if the woman of the house had waited all day to let her opinions be known. All hell could break loose. No wonder I had to have a GI workup at the tender age of six.

I'm surprised that I still wanted family dinner time after what I grew up with. So let's not romanticize the heck out of the past. It really wasn't all rainbows and roses.

[Sooner]

If children don't sit down to a table set with dishes and flatware what are others going to think when they grow up and can't eat with any trace of manners?

And yes they will be judged on that in many ways by many people, some they may work for.   I don't care what kids eat off of if they learn good manners and are comfortable using them.