Community Chat

[Porcelain]

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@granddi wrote:

I think I'm going to answer my own question.

I do not like to be gifted items that I have to display.

I have enough do-dads!

But I have a gallery wall of travel prints that my adult children and others admire and make nice remarks. I'm thinking of gifting them small (5x7) prints of places that they have traveled. 

What are your feelings about giving or receiving decorative items?

I just want my gifts to have some meaning.

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Just ask if they would like to receive their own version of your gallery wall. And then if the answer is a clear hearty yes, give it to them right away. Don't make it part of a Christmas or birthday or other event-type gift.

With any decorative or wearable gift there are rules. Do not have any expectations about what they will do with it. They may regift and you have no say about that. Don't ask after the item or look around for it when you go over to their place.

I don't give decorations as presents. It's too hard to get it right.

[ThinkingOutLoud]

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@granddi wrote:

I think I'm going to answer my own question.

I do not like to be gifted items that I have to display.

I have enough do-dads!

But I have a gallery wall of travel prints that my adult children and others admire and make nice remarks. I'm thinking of gifting them small (5x7) prints of places that they have traveled. 

What are your feelings about giving or receiving decorative items?

I just want my gifts to have some meaning.

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Chiming in again to respond to your last sentence (and to me, the heart of the matter). Figure out their love languages* and give accordingly. That is what will have meaning.

My dear mom showered me with all sorts of 'stuff' over the years and though I tried to appreciate the thought, it was stressful figuring out what to do with it (not to mention that we have very different tastes). Once I learned about the 5 love languages, it made so much more sense. Gifts ranked high for my mom but it ranks last out of the 5 for me. Wish we both understood this a lot sooner.

*service, quality time, words of affirmation, affection, gifts

[LdyBugz]

@granddi. I understand where you are coming from.  I think it's great when you can give a gift that has meaning and is appreciated.  That's often hard to do for someone that has everything.

With that said, I think it's best to leave the decorating of a home to the people that actually live there.  So I would recommend that you ask your kids first if they would want the prints for their home.  Just because they like the display in your home doesn't necessarily mean they would want the same in their home.  It would be a shame if you went through all that trouble of getting the prints and then they're never used as intended.

[twentysixteen]

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@deepwaterdotter wrote:

Since I like to choose my own decorative items, I do not give them as gifts.  I wouldn't want anyone to feel obligated to display an item they didn't like. 

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Same here.

[Mominohio]

My mom is the only one who gets me in the decor department, and she has gifted me many beautiful things that I love. But most others don't get it. 

I only gift decor items to people I really really know well, know what they like, or have asked for. So for me, that is pretty much my mom and my son who just bought his first home.

I'm at the stage where I want very little new in decor of any kind, and I tend to buy what I want when I find the perfect thing.

[chrystaltree]

Some people give gifts that they love,  some people give gifts that they think the receiver will love.  I loved my mom dearly but when we sold our home, the attic was full of lovely decorative items and collectibles that SHE loved but we did not love or want.  We had  "3 visit rule".  We'd display them for 3 of her visits and then we "retired" them.  So, unless it's something that the recipient has specifically requested, I don't give such items to others.