Re: Getting Rid Of Stuff After A Death

CrazyKittyLvr2 · ‎05-11-2013

@map167 Sis had paycheck stubs from where she worked before getting married over 45 years ago. Why, who knows, the company was no longer in business.

She also had tax returns from decades ago for she and her husband plus ones from my parents. Dad died in 1996, Mom 2006.

My BIL found boxes of them. He called me and when I said hello I got, "OMG, your sister. you'll never guess what we found." lol

H2OSkiGirl · ‎06-10-2015

Sorry for you loss @CrazyKittyLvr2. My sister also passed away in November.

It fell to me to clear out her condo. Got rid of a lot of her stuff over the first couple of months, but the rest is my summer project now that school is out. I was looking through this forum as a way of procrastinating when I stumbled on your thread...this project is literally what I am going to start doing this afternoon!. Like you, I am going to declutter my own house at the same time. I don't want my family to have to go through this when I'm gone.

Hope you have some good memories of your sister. To everyone else, cherish your family while you have them.

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

@STYLE wrote:
@SeaMaiden I, too, still have my 1962 mink stole. Wore it to so many different affairs and felt like a million dollars. But that was then and this is now. You are right, it is time to get rid of . Maybe the raccoons will want it.

Shoekitty said, my moms mink stole even the charities wouldn't take it. I finally hid it in a bag of clothes I sent to Goodwill. I am in California, you can't get rid of them. There used to be someone who made the cutest bears and pillows from them, but no more. I even tried a local theater group. They said they didn't have a costume dept anymore. I had no room, nor proper storage. My mom quit wearing it in the 70's.

“sometimes you have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on”….Bob Dylan

CrazyKittyLvr2 · ‎05-11-2013

I get people like their "stuff" When I worked i had too many shoes, purses, clothes etc. When I retired I started getting rid of everything. I kept a few clothes but I donated bags and bags of shoes (I can't wear heels now), purses (dear heaven, don't ask), really nice clothes. It all went.

DD sews and she has been making wristlets. i don't even carry a purse anymore. If I want a new wristlet I pick a color for the wristlet and a lining and she whips on up. Holds all I need and off I go. Women she works with saw mine and she has orders from several co-workers. One woman ordered 10 for Christmas gifts.

Sorry, got off track. I don't want my kids to have to weed through a ton of stuff when I go.

Jo1313 · ‎02-02-2021

@Jo1313 wrote:
My parents passed within 10 months of each other..In 54 yrs. in the same house..there was a lot of stuff...Most of the clothes were donated..My niece was furnishing a new house..So she took a lot of wood furniture..My brother and I shared the antiques and Dad's Army(WW2) medals..and Mom's Jewelry....The grand daughters picked a few pieces..so did the granddaughters-in -laws..
Dad didn't have much jewelry..and 5 grandsons..so we put their names in a hat so that each grandson got a "special" lot...Everyone was glad to have something to remember them by.

WE also found a 70 yr. old bottle of scotch..We all had a toast to those 2 wonderful people.

In addition:

I pretty much expect my kids to order the biggest dumpster they can get after the find some goodies in this place!

DrBabs · ‎03-20-2022

For the past few years, as I was living with my widowed mother to be her primary caregiver, I began a slow and stealthy clearout of her household stuff. Then, when Mom moved into a residential care home I became the box and donate queen! Clothing, household goods, decor, kitchen. Sold some of her collectibles. Donated some furniture items.

Mom passed away in January of this year and I still have some collectibles to get rid of (good luck, no market for most of it) but I've boxed them up with an inventory list. Don't yet know how I will move those into another universe. Boxes and boxes of clothes, shoes, purses, hats donated BUT there is still a short blue fox fur coat that hangs in the closet. She wore it a few times in the 70s but I haven't a clue as to how to get rid of it. Local fur shops don't want it if it's over a certain age. There are vintage clothing shops around so maybe I'll check with them. Now I have her large jewelry collection to worry about. SIGH

It's such a monumental task!

shoesnbags · ‎03-10-2010

I don't see where sister's family is asking OP to store any of this stuff they're keeping. So as far as I can see, it's their business what they choose to keep, not the OP. As long as it's not cluttering up your house, don't worry about it. Different strokes for different folks.

When my parents died, my brother and I kept a few things we wanted and got rid of the rest. But I would never presume to tell my nieces or nephews what they should do in the same situation. Nor would I judge them for doing whatever eases their grief.

"Breathe in, breathe out, move on." Jimmy Buffett

patbz · ‎03-10-2010

When my Dad died in MD, I, my parents Executrix, lived in CA. First I moved my Mom to a Care Facility in my small city. Then I asked my cousin and Dads baby sister ( then in her mid 60s) if they could help me with local resources. They did and also volunteered to clean out my parents' home of 50+ years. They got goodwill, an appraiser who conducted A sale of their belongings, Lighthouse for the Blind, A cleaning service, A realtor ( my cousin worked with her) etc. There was a bidding war for the house and everything went very smoothly. When the process was done, I tried to estimate the many hours my relatives put in, and wrote them each a large check ( which I sent with thank you notes). They were both surprised and grateful. Prior to that "Big Clean" I had directed their care giving team to take some furniture and all their clothing ( which they donated to their churches for distribution). DH and I are now in our 70s and trying to get downsized and also who in our small family might want what ( or not); its not easy. We do have trust, wills, health POA etc.

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

@Jacie wrote:
My Mom passed in 2019. I spent almost a year dismantling and getting her stuff sold. Fortunately for me, though she had so much, it was beautifully stored and in marked containers. She was very neat but she had lived in her 5 bedroom home for 64 years!

I was alone in handling her house, I have a brother who is pretty useless, I chose to have an estate sale through a local company. It went well and there were only a few piles and some furniture for donation.

What did I learn? Downsize now! My Mom never did, I do not want to leave that task to anyone as she did to me. So grateful she could stay in her home until her death, but omg. My husband and I immediately got our act together, sold our large home in 2021, had a huge sale and came to a 2 bedroom home in a warmer climate, with very little stuff.

It is very freeing. I no longer collect and do not care about "stuff"!

Shoekitty said: well said, so true. My mom passed in 2019, and both brothers didn't help.

“sometimes you have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on”….Bob Dylan

Jo1313 · ‎02-02-2021

@DrBabs wrote:
For the past few years, as I was living with my widowed mother to be her primary caregiver, I began a slow and stealthy clearout of her household stuff. Then, when Mom moved into a residential care home I became the box and donate queen! Clothing, household goods, decor, kitchen. Sold some of her collectibles. Donated some furniture items.

Mom passed away in January of this year and I still have some collectibles to get rid of (good luck, no market for most of it) but I've boxed them up with an inventory list. Don't yet know how I will move those into another universe. Boxes and boxes of clothes, shoes, purses, hats donated BUT there is still a short blue fox fur coat that hangs in the closet. She wore it a few times in the 70s but I haven't a clue as to how to get rid of it. Local fur shops don't want it if it's over a certain age. There are vintage clothing shops around so maybe I'll check with them. Now I have her large jewelry collection to worry about. SIGH

It's such a monumental task!

I know what you mean about "collectibles"..I owned a Hallmark Gift shop!..So there is a lot of stuff here..LOL

I told my kids to give the things they don't want to the local animal shelter..they have a thrift store but they don't take clothes or fabrics of any kind.

I have given them a lot already.