Community Chat

[Cats3000]

Yes, really.  There's a quantum-leap difference between "welcome" and "I'm moving in, and oh yes, my family will be here soon, and we're staying until we can find a house (whenever that is").

It just doesn't pass the smell test.  I didn't even read that he had offered to pay the expenses of moving back home.  She's stocking up and he, and later his family, is moving in. The only thing he "requested" was space in a closet.

At this point, children ought to be visiting their parents to make sure they're ok and that they can continue to maintain themselves in safety and security.  Children ought to be giving back to their parents for the years of raising and nurturing that got them to this point.  As parents get older, they are more vulnerable to all kinds of issues that children should be eager to help with.  Children shouldn't be looking to their parents for cost-free "crash pads" for whatever reason.

[Cats3000]

I suspect that your sister probably wouldn't have followed rules, anyway.  Letting her come home was mistake #1.  Not kicking her out was mistake #2.

Divorced?  Unfortunate.  Now, move on with your life.  Get a job, find a place for you and your kids to live, and start over.

[Shanus]

@chrystaltree. Would it sound better if rules were changed to "considerations"?

[Shanus]

@libbyannE. DIL is my daughter in law. My granddaughters have been here for weeks at a time since they were born and "do better" for me than their parents because I don't give 3 or 4 chances or warnings...1 is enough. They know that and don't push back. Parents marvel at skill w/ them.

These are my kids, my family. Clutter can be lived with while they're here. I'm sure they'll be anxious to find a place of their own since all their things will be in storage.

[Sweetbay magnolia]

It's nice that you can enjoy this time together.  Wow, I'd bet he's going to miss his wife and kids!

Quality of life is terribly important, and it sounds like you have that well in hand.  You can always amend the "considerations" if situations arise, stemming from the original thought process.

I guess sometimes you can go home again!  I assume they'll be in your area when all is said and done?  How nice.  My immediate family is all over in the West (I'm East Coast).  I wish we were closer geographically.

[Shanus]

@Irshgrl31201 I will definitely enjoy him. He was the easiest & most pleasant to raise. Now if my daughter had to move in...that's a different story. She's 44, very strong willed, contrary & arguementative.

We always have a tough time together if more than visiting for 2 wks. Butt heads. I'm very easy going and low maintenance & she's off getting brows waxed, mani/pedis, fake lashes glued on, facials, massages, acupressure, hair appts., all which could have been taken care of BEFORE we flew out to WA state from NC. Last time rented a car since left home w/ nothing to do. Assumed she had sightseeing arranged like she said before flight. 

[hoosieroriginal]

I'm like my mom was - when you are out, you are out for good, there's no coming back - it never ends well - trust me.  Good luck to you!

[Shanus]

@Cats3000. Really? Home is always home. Our house is 5,000 sq. ft. w/ 5 bedrooms, gym, playroom on 2nd floor balcony, my studio w/ table set up at one end for granddaughters to paint & do projects, huge kitchen & family room and living room, dining room, and other extras. We could all be here and not be in each other's way.  WY too big for us an downsizing in next several years.

I would never think of sending family to a condo or hotel. When I get older, what if they felt that way about me?

[tends2dogs]

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@Cats3000 wrote:

You gotta be kidding!!!  Outrageous.  Insane.  

NO!!!  It's NOT his home.  It's YOUR HOME.  He's an adult with a family of his own.  He IS your son.  He can fly on his own; he's proven that. 

Let him rent a house or condo that'll fit his family until they find something they want to buy.

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I totally agree!!  The OP is a better person than me.  I could never do this nor would I.  I love my kids, BUT, like @Cats3000 said, he has proven he can fly on his own.  I can't believe he would even want to do this, let alone, his wife.  If it was to stay (only the son) for a week or two until he could find a rental, I could probably gut that, but move in???  NO WAY!!

[Shanus]

@Cats3000. I'm really surprised by your attitude. He's starting a new job & his wife is leaving hers behind. Will not be looking for work until Sept. until the Girls start school. They need time to adjust to leaving only place they've lived. Girl Scouts, soccer team, swim team, all their friends left behind.

We don't need to ask them for money to buy their food. Would you also assume I'd label theirs & ours so they wouldn't touch our milk if they ran out?

Bigger question is if you have children & have been treated by them in an unkind way? You sound quite bitter.