Community Chat

[jubilant]

To me, this thread seems to be taking an odd twist towards putting the blame on parents who won't take their child in.   

When loving parents have tried everything and moved heaven and earth for children they dearly love, they should not be blamed for saying no.....especially to those adult children who refuse to change when given every chance.  I am talking about those "kidults" who are disruptive and wreap havoc in the home.

A parent has to be wise enough to know when "enough is enough".  Not only for their own sake, but for the sake of the rest of the family in that particular household, and also for the sake of that "kidult" whose bad habits will eventually become so engrained they will have one heck of a time breaking them.  In some cases, their best chance in life for change is to be kicked out.  Think of the prodigal son.  After wallowing with the pigs and blowing all his inheritance.....home looked pretty good.....so he changed.  He went back home and his father accepted him with open arms and prepared a feast for him.

 There won't always be a happy ending.....but at least you will always know.....you did all you could.

[Shanus]

@Poodlepet2. No green thumbs on Shanus. I put my pansies in my front porch planters, window boxes and other planters near the garage. Of course, the hard freeze we're expecting or the deer families that have the nerve to come right up on my porch won't bother those pansies.

I put in fake flowers each season....I've planted bulbs, azaleas, and other flowering shrubs. The deer have eaten them all no matter what I've sprayed on them. The HOA forbids any form of netting for protection, so I just gave up.

When my son puts in the stepped herb garden, it's in the side yard, fenced so the beagles can go out their doggie door. Yes. The garden will be walled high enough to keep the dogs out, but allow easy access for me to grab a handful of basil before prepping dinner.

If there were brisket seeds, they'd be in a bed of their own next to the borscht seeds.

[Marienkaefer2]

It sounds as if the o/p has a big house with enough room for everyone.

Family dynamics vary.  Some people could not imagine a scenario such as this, while others would love it.

As long as everybody is happy and gets along, that's what's important!

[Irshgrl31201]

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@jubilant wrote:

To me, this thread seems to be taking an odd twist towards putting the blame on parents who won't take their child in.   

When loving parents have tried everything and moved heaven and earth for children they dearly love, they should not be blamed for saying no.....especially to those adult children who refuse to change when given every chance.  I am talking about those "kidults" who are disruptive and wreap havoc in the home.

A parent has to be wise enough to know when "enough is enough".  Not only for their own sake, but for the sake of the rest of the family in that particular household, and also for the sake of that "kidult" whose bad habits will eventually become so engrained they will have one heck of a time breaking them.  In some cases, their best chance in life for change is to be kicked out.  Think of the prodigal son.  After wallowing with the pigs and blowing all his inheritance.....home looked pretty good.....so he changed.  He went back home and his father accepted him with open arms and prepared a feast for him.

 There won't always be a happy ending.....but at least you will always know.....you did all you could.

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I think that is a completely different situation and I agree with you, allowing child like that back in can be not only a nightmare but really a situation where the parent would be helping them to not grow up and face adult responsibilities. IMO, this isn't the OP situation at all. 

[jubilant]

@Irshgrl31201

I agree, op has a totally different situation.  I have agreed with her in other posts.  I just noticed there seemed to be those who think it's never a good idea to say no and was hoping that those that have totally different situations wouldn't feel bad if they have had to do this. I had to do this once.  In my case, it worked out for the best. 

[Irshgrl31201]

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@jubilant wrote:

@Irshgrl31201

I agree, op has a totally different situation.  I have agreed with her in other posts.  I just noticed there seemed to be those who think it's never a good idea to say no and was hoping that those that have totally different situations wouldn't feel bad if they have had to do this. I had to do this once.  In my case, it worked out for the best. 

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Yes, I have a close friend who had to do this too and she did the right thing not to enable her son further. She actually received a lot of criticism for doing it but it was from people who had no idea how much help she gave in the past. He needed to learn mom and dad would not be there when he was not helping himself. I am glad it worked out for the best for you @jubilant. It worked they way for her too, thankfully.