Community Chat

[JaneMarple]

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@sophiamarie wrote:

@JaneMarple  Sorry, I must have missed the part where the "second fridge" came in.  At first, he was going to get one shelf.  Okay, so now there's a whole nuther fridge.  Oh, and the part where they  might even have found a house by the time the kids are out of school.

My bad.

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I believe @Shanus is a terrific mom and I would do the same exact thing that she is doing if one of my kids was to be TRANSFERRED near me! Why the doom and gloom post about her HAPPY family? Touching a nerve?

Common sense would have told you that he would be looking for a house since his job was TRANSFERRED!

Not your business how many shelves he gets! Or if there is or isn't another fridge! 

[Shanus]

@JaneMarple. I did provide all necessary info throughout thread. Why post and leave out important facts? Appreciate your reply.

[JaneMarple]

Enjoy the time with your son @Shanus and spoil him as much as you want, you're my kind of Mom. I love my kids to death and this is something that I would'nt hesitate to do if I was in your shoes. One of the sweetest things my oldest daughter ever told me is that when she was a little girl, she went to bed every night knowing and feeling that she was loved. It sounds like it was and still is in your family. 

[Shanus]

@JaneMarple. This need not start a war. I'm sorry you feel the need to defend me. Some folks are different than others & they treat their families differently as well. This has become obvious.

The OP was meant, as most are, to initiate dialogue about the subject. I never imagined there would be such venom about loving your kids unconditionally and helping them out....whether they're 25 or 45. What's the difference?

I fear those who have expressed such negativity regarding the post, had a miserable childhood and maybe did not feel welcome in their homes. That's quite sad. They may also have a distant relationship w/ their own children and are reacting out of jealousy. IMO, both are unfortunate. 

Thanks again for your support. 🌸

[JaneMarple]

I agree with your assement @Shanus, there wasn't any reason to tear you down or your son and his family by anyone. I applaud your beautiful maternal nature and again I say enjoy your time with them. Good night 

[mantaraye]

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@Shanus wrote:

@JaneMarple. This need not start a war. I'm sorry you feel the need to defend me. Some folks are different than others & they treat their families differently as well. This has become obvious.

The OP was meant, as most are, to initiate dialogue about the subject. I never imagined there would be such venom about loving your kids unconditionally and helping them out....whether they're 25 or 45. What's the difference?

I fear those who have expressed such negativity regarding the post, had a miserable childhood and maybe did not feel welcome in their homes. That's quite sad. They may also have a distant relationship w/ their own children and are reacting out of jealousy. IMO, both are unfortunate. 

Thanks again for your support. 🌸

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@Shanus - I cannot believe how this lovely post by you is still being disseminated.

Shaking my head at all the negativity. You are a wonderful parent, please do not allow the naysayers get to you

[NAES1]

For @Shanus, 

 I did have a reply for an older poster on another forum when I happened to read yours.

I did not bother to 'even _want_ to read  more stuff after the beginning few first posters.

BUT! I did want to commend you on being such a caring, considerate mother with so much of a soulful heart and love for your family. 

I have always known unexpected situations and events do happen, but what is quickly approaching in this country~ of what `THE FAMILY use to be`, has been lost and parents have become very bitter; the lost of what should make, being ~home~ has been lost and forgotten.

We love our only child more than our own lives and feel blessed when he is able to be near or can visit. 

What a wonderful mother you are. In the journey we each take, to love and be loved is everything. 

Be happy, enjoy your new adventure until your dear family can focus more on their children, their schooling and always know he will be there for you when there may be a turn of events, being the opposite. 

I have no further comments to read, nor do I care to read any 'stuff' that is meaningless. I very rarely if at any time, have come on as an intervention for suggestions.

You certainly do not need anyone's advice, but sharing this with good intentions is all that you should care about.

I know, from the beginning topic, that you are very special. Never be anything other than that. I wanted you to know what my parents once told all of us when we were beginning a new life, in being married, was: "if at anytime in your life , no matter what your age or life becomes, __Your Home__ will always be open to be here for safety and security. 

I never forgot that and passed that on to our son. 

There has to have been some very unhappy children growing up, in many homes, to hear what I have just read. 

I wish you love, success for your son, his wife and your lovely family. You are truly blessed.

That is something that cannot be explained, if never experienced. 

 ``Go..and be happy during this temporary transition forgetting all others' comments that are negative in {what to dos}, and you will find that God is always there for you. 

 Good night and stay contented. 

  Sincerely, NAES. with a thank you for sharing.

[Plaid Pants2]

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@Shanus wrote:

@sophiamarie. Didn't want to reply, but read your post again and felt I needed to say something. I know nothing about you and you obviously don't have a clue about what kind of mother I am. 

Of course I could put them up in a furnished apartment. I could also buy them a house and "call it a day". Not the issue here. My son is a professional w/ a graduate school degree. He's independent, has pride and obviously loves his parents. He also knows that no matter how old he gets, he is welcome in his home, as is his wife and children...OUR grandchildren.

Baggage? Sounds like you have enough for 2 storage units. If you had read OP and others after, my son has the few drawers in the pantry, etc. for the 3 months he'll be here. I have another frig. in the mud room/laundry room if he needs it. When my DIL and kids come down (ages 5 & 8), it is possible that my son will have found a house by then. If not, they are all welcome here for as long as they need to stay. 

There are good mothers and then women that just give birth and do the minimum for 18 years & can't wait to slam the door as the kid leaves. Which one are you? Can I guess? 

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@Shanus

I know, right?

It almost seems like they hate their kids, resent the fact that they were even born, and would rather see their kids living on the streets, before they would even consider letting them come back home.

I just hope that these "mothers" know, that one day in the future, they themselves might need their kids to take care of them, and if this is the treatment that they got from "Mom", well, the kid would have every right to say, "Remember how I came to you in my time of need and when I had no where else to go, and you slammed the door in my face, and told me to find my own way? Well, guess what 'Mom', turn about is fair play. Find your own way now,". Slams door.

[happycat]

@Plaid Pants2, ITA. I have known more than a few grown children that moved their elderly parents in to their homes to care of them in their elder years, when they couldn't stay alone.

Glad you pointed that out.