Re: GROWN KIDS COMING HOME TO ROOST

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@hoosieroriginal. Whoa! We're talking about a landscape architect w/ a graduate degree who has worked since he left graduatuate school. Mooching? Never.

He's never asked or depended on us. We paid for his education (his sister, too). We felt it was our responsibilty as parents to see they had a good education to stand on their own 2 feet. Both have made their way in the world. Offering them THEIR home for 3 months? Never a question in my mind.

hoosieroriginal · ‎03-04-2012

@Shanus wrote:
@hoosieroriginal. Whoa! We're talking about a landscape architect w/ a graduate degree who has worked since he left graduatuate school. Mooching? Never.

He's never asked or depended on us. We paid for his education (his sister, too). We felt it was our responsibilty as parents to see they had a good education to stand on their own 2 feet. Both have made their way in the world. Offering them THEIR home for 3 months? Never a question in my mind.

@Shanus - I'm not talking about your kid specifically - just kids that have depended on mommy and daddy all their lives - who move in and never move out - you've seen and heard of that before.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

I have family (grown children and their families, plus other family members) staying with us all the time. It's usually their vacation.

So I don't mind loading the dishwasher or doing their laundry.

It's more of being a control freak on how (well) I like things done, than needing someone to lend a hand. lol

And especially if my son (or daughter) were staying with me while working full time, I wouldn't mind doing those things anyway.

They helped out around the house with chores while they were growing up, they weren't spoiled-- believe me.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@Lucky Charm You have a welcoming home and your family wants to be there with you.I consider that special and I am sure you are much loved.They don't leave you out of their lives because you welcome them and make them feel special.

hoosieroriginal · ‎03-04-2012

@hoosieroriginal wrote:
@Shanus wrote:
@hoosieroriginal. Whoa! We're talking about a landscape architect w/ a graduate degree who has worked since he left graduatuate school. Mooching? Never.

He's never asked or depended on us. We paid for his education (his sister, too). We felt it was our responsibilty as parents to see they had a good education to stand on their own 2 feet. Both have made their way in the world. Offering them THEIR home for 3 months? Never a question in my mind.

@Shanus - I'm not talking about your kid specifically - just kids that have depended on mommy and daddy all their lives - who move in and never move out - you've seen and heard of that before.

@Shanus - I aplogize if you thought I was coming down on your son - I wasn't. Just talking in general about younger people in general. I've worked with a ton of lazy 20/30 year olds who have no ambition or drive. Obviously, that doesn't include your son - he sounds like he has his act very much together.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

I think it will turn out well. I failed to mention that my mother has a tight relationship with both grandkids because of the arrangement. They spent so much time together and have a special bond they may not have formed.

While my mother had complaints, she never would have said no. She was a SAHM and made us her only priority. I think the problem was she doesn't speak up for herself. My sister railroaded her and she let her. My mother needed to share her frustrations with them. Open two way communication is key.

123SuzyQ123 · ‎03-09-2010

I guess I am lucky in that my grown son has only had to move back home one time since he moved out for college at age 18. He was between jobs and needed to live with us until he started his new job. He was about 29 at the time and wasn't any problem at all. He knew how we ran our house, and he was respectful, and would even bring home dinner a couple of nights a week!!!

I know we all wish/hope/pray that our "kids" will be able to have their own place and able to stand on their own, but there are definitely times that they still need a bit of help from their parents! IMO

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@hoosieroriginal. Oh sure. Get it now. Thanks for explanation. 😁

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

@Shanus, I think your list sounds good and I hope you enjoy your sons stay, and then the company of his wife and kids.

Some people seem to think its a problem that he wants to come home while finding a new place, and to each his own. Personally, I think it shows that you and he have an awesome relationship and that is great.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@happycat. We do have a good, close relationship. I had both children young & a year apart so we grew up together. My son had the 1st year w/ the "what do I do" & usual lessons for me to learn. By the time my daughter arrived a year later, I was a pro!