Community Chat

[Shanus]

Week one with my 45 yr. old son moving home for 3 months. He'll commute for 3 months until my granddaughters finish the school year & then DIL and kids will move in as well until they find a house. 

He has requested "real estate" in the walk in pantry. I moved things around and cleared out 2 deep pull out drawers & 2 shelves for his "eats" and a shelf in the refrigerator. 

I stocked his bathroom upstairs w/ toothpaste, kleenex & all essentials & it seems he's set & ready to get started Monday. 

House rules? For someone 45? Difficult, but necessary. We talked about it & made very few:

1. I need to know before he leaves for work if he plans to have dinner w/ us so I know how much to prepare. 

2. He's responsible to clean up after himself, dishes, laundry, papers lying around, etc. I run a tight ship & hate clutter. 3. Be mindful that he's not a guest, he's our son. Enjoy his privacy and let me enjoy spoiling him until his wife arrives. This is his home...relax. Ask if you need something...gladly make it happen if possible. 4. Gave him internet password, key, and alarm code to come & go. 

Any other rules/regulations you'd add to my list?

[Shanus]

Oh, I also gave him a garage remote. Ours are programmed into our cars.

[GCR18]

My sister moved in with our mother when she divorced at 49.  I can list the complaints my mother shared.    

No rent if help around house = help dwindled as time went on

Kids came for visitation = loud, messy, slept late/had to be quiet

Washing machine/dryer constantly running 

Utility bills increased

Phone not put on craddle/couldn't find

Kids didn't have household responsibilities

Kids brought friends over

Dinner time delayed due to sisters hours

Sister redecorated house 

Felt constant lack of privacy

Sister drove mother's car/didnt refuel

You sound like you have things under control.  My mother didn't really have rules and my sister took over.  Mother was miserable, but didn't voice concerns to sister.  Sister is moving out soon.  She's been there 3 years.

[chrystaltree]

Ok, that's a solution to his problem but honestly those house rules for middle aged man seem a little strange to me. 

[libbyannE]

You sound organized! I would be more concerned about what happens when his kids move in and really disrupt your organized, clutterfree life. ( Not sure who "DIL" is, but I assume that is an adult friend or partner?) Why will they live with you while house Hunting! Sounds stressful.

[JaneMarple]

---

@libbyannE wrote:

You sound organized! I would be more concerned about what happens when his kids move in and really disrupt your organized, clutterfree life. ( Not sure who "DIL" is, but I assume that is an adult friend or partner?) Why will they live with you while house Hunting! Sounds stressful.

@libbyannE, DIL stands for daughter in law.

---

[Irshgrl31201]

---

@Shanus wrote:

Week one with my 45 yr. old son moving home for 3 months. He'll commute for 3 months until my granddaughters finish the school year & then DIL and kids will move in as well until they find a house. 

He has requested "real estate" in the walk in pantry. I moved things around and cleared out 2 deep pull out drawers & 2 shelves for his "eats" and a shelf in the refrigerator. 

I stocked his bathroom upstairs w/ toothpaste, kleenex & all essentials & it seems he's set & ready to get started Monday. 

House rules? For someone 45? Difficult, but necessary. We talked about it & made very few:

1. I need to know before he leaves for work if he plans to have dinner w/ us so I know how much to prepare. 

2. He's responsible to clean up after himself, dishes, laundry, papers lying around, etc. I run a tight ship & hate clutter. 3. Be mindful that he's not a guest, he's our son. Enjoy his privacy and let me enjoy spoiling him until his wife arrives. This is his home...relax. Ask if you need something...gladly make it happen if possible. 4. Gave him internet password, key, and alarm code to come & go. 

Any other rules/regulations you'd add to my list?

---

I think that sounds reasonable and you're the only one who knows if you actually need to add rules or not. For instance if my daughter and her husband were to move in with me I really don't feel I would have to say much to her because when she did live with me she was a good kid and respectful. She knew what I expected and followed it. I think if I had a child that moved back in I would only be laying down the law or a set of rules is if they weren't followed the first time around.

Also and most importantly, I hope you enjoy your time with your son and I hope you thoroughly enjoy spoiling him until his wife and children get there and then enjoy spoiling your grandchildren and DIL when they come. Sounds like fun!!

[JaneMarple]

I can honestly say that 3 ot of my 4 kids I would gladly let them move back home but there is one that would have me packing up to go to a hotel  My ex husband was a very clean and neat person so we always had a pristine home, I swear I don't know where that one child went astray. 

[Cats3000]

You gotta be kidding!!!  Outrageous.  Insane.  

NO!!!  It's NOT his home.  It's YOUR HOME.  He's an adult with a family of his own.  He IS your son.  He can fly on his own; he's proven that. 

Let him rent a house or condo that'll fit his family until they find something they want to buy.

[ID2]

---

@Cats3000 wrote:

You gotta be kidding!!!  Outrageous.  Insane.  

NO!!!  It's NOT his home.  It's YOUR HOME.  He's an adult with a family of his own.  He IS your son.  He can fly on his own; he's proven that. 

Let him rent a house or condo that'll fit his family until they find something they want to buy.

---

Oh please, really?? My children would always be welcomed back into my home no matter how old they are. Always.