Community Chat

[MaRina]

Absolutely no regrets. We were told we would never conceive a child the "fun" way. After three miscarriages using fertility treatments we basically gave up any hope of becoming parents. Well after 16 1/2 years of marriage we were pregnant and became the very proud parents of a beautiful baby boy, our miracle from God.

He's almost 19 now and has blessed our lives 10 fold!

[deepwaterdotter]

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@MaRina wrote:

Absolutely no regrets. We were told we would never conceive a child the "fun" way. After three miscarriages using fertility treatments we basically gave up any hope of becoming parents. Well after 16 1/2 years of marriage we were pregnant and became the very proud parents of a beautiful baby boy, our miracle from God.

He's almost 19 now and has blessed our lives 10 fold!

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What a heart-warming story MaRina!

[tends2dogs]

I can't begin to imagine life without our daughter.  It is a love that is different than any other that you have for others - parents, spouse, pet, ....... No regrets here .

[Tinkrbl44]

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@MomCat wrote:

I can't imagine how someone can answer this question in the negative.  Yes, there are plenty of negative experiences in life, but it's extreme to think a mother would ever regret having children.  I think it's so important to have your own life plan, without depending on others to behave in the manner you want.  Now, if you ask me, or many of my childless friends if any of us regret not having children.  I can easily say - heck, NO!  LOL

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@MomCat

Having asked this question a few times over the years, I think there are very few women who would actually admit they wished they'd gone down the other fork in the road.  JMO

[Tinkrbl44]

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@noodleann wrote:

Re the OP, I don't think it's reasonable to expect people to come out and say heck no, I wouldn't have had them. I recall an old Ann Landers column asking this very question, and 70% of her responses were negative. Even if things have improved, it's probably no better than 50%. I think that's a more realistic estimate of people's true feelings--not that anyone who's responded is lying, but most people are not going to weigh in and hazard the unpleasant feedback they're likely to get if they say no. 

A more interesting question, with less predictable answers, would be if you elected to not have kids (childfree by choice, not circumstance), would you do things differently if you could live that part of your life over again. 

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@noodleann

I remember that, and it didn't surprise me in the least.

[ANewHue]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

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@ANewHue wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@ANewHue wrote:

We have one child that we had later in life.  She was our blessing that we thought would never be.   Now she is our biggest headache.  The answer to your question is NO.  All our money was spent on her education. She is ungrateful.   We missed a lot of things in life because we were spending our time and cash raising her properly and giving her opportunities that we didn't have. At this point we want her out so we can enjoy traveling and getting back to having some fun but she's not taking the hint. 

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Yikes, ouch . . . . unless she is on drugs or has been arrested this is kind of harsh.  With all due respect do you not own some of this?

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No it's not harsh I live it everyday.  There is no drug use involved that I'm aware of she is a part of the entitled generation, are you aware of them?  Oh she is a sweetheart on the outside just a terror to her family.  Own what? that we afforded her every opportunity? She doesn't have any debt like others.  

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I'm sorry that you hate your daughter. That is very sad.

Your posts about your daughter comes across as hateful towards her.

 @Plaid Pants2   The only one that used the word hate is YOU.  

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[stevieb]

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@jaxs mom wrote:

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@Ms tyrion2 wrote:

I am also child free by choice. I think it's wonderful for people to want and have kids, but it was never something I wanted.

If you had kids and regret it, that is a sad thing. If you wanted kids and never had them, that is also a very sad thing. I've never once regretted  not having kids. My life is full to the brim  without them.

Despite what Jacaranda thinks, childless people have just as much voice in this thread as anyone else.

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Well the specific question asked in the OP was For People With Children if you could do it again. I'm not sure how that question applies to childless people.

I certainly wouldn't go into a thread asking if childless by choice people would make a different decision and post, oh I had kids and wouldn't do it differently. It has nothing to do with the topic. But obviously people are going to post whatever they want.

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Different strokes, I guess...

[jubilant]

Sometimes the people we love the most can also hurt us the most.  I think if you ask this question on a day a parent has been cut to the heart or had their heart broken by a child they have loved (and always will love)...you might get a response that comes from pure heartache.  I think we need to be sensitive to that.

[Plaid Pants2]

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@ANewHue wrote:

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

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@ANewHue wrote:

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@momtochloe wrote:

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@ANewHue wrote:

We have one child that we had later in life.  She was our blessing that we thought would never be.   Now she is our biggest headache.  The answer to your question is NO.  All our money was spent on her education. She is ungrateful.   We missed a lot of things in life because we were spending our time and cash raising her properly and giving her opportunities that we didn't have. At this point we want her out so we can enjoy traveling and getting back to having some fun but she's not taking the hint. 

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Yikes, ouch . . . . unless she is on drugs or has been arrested this is kind of harsh.  With all due respect do you not own some of this?

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No it's not harsh I live it everyday.  There is no drug use involved that I'm aware of she is a part of the entitled generation, are you aware of them?  Oh she is a sweetheart on the outside just a terror to her family.  Own what? that we afforded her every opportunity? She doesn't have any debt like others.  

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I'm sorry that you hate your daughter. That is very sad.

Your posts about your daughter comes across as hateful towards her.

 @Plaid Pants2   The only one that used the word hate is YOU.  

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And the one who used a hateful tone  about their own child is YOU.

[LilacTree]

I already mentioned my youngest daughter does not have, nor wanted to have children, in another post in this thread.

I should also mention that my third daughter had two miscarriages before she had her first child, then two more miscarriages before she had her second child, who was a caesarian section birth.  She mourned those lost babies and had a very hard time after the caesarian section. 

She has two beautiful daughters out of six tries.  It was all worth it for her, she adores them and they adore her.  She has said she definitely would have adopted had she not been able to carry any child to birth. 

By the way, those two sisters are very close, and my youngest loves her two nieces and they love her.  They do lots of things together.

Life happens, we never know what or why, but for most of us, it turns out for the best even when there's sorrow to bear along the way.