Community Chat

[jubilant]

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@chiclet wrote:

I feel for the person who gives a no answer to this question.  This board would thrust an avalanche of hostility towards them.

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*********** LOL!  I think you probably are right.  For me, I answered on the whole of things...more good than bad.  That doesn't mean I haven't had days when I have said, "Why, Lord"!!

[151949]

I was not able to have any children  but my first husband was divorced and had custody of his 2 children, so I had them instead. We travelled all over the world for his job with children in hand. Now, as adults with children of their own , they say they do not regret the travelling , or the experiences we all shared.They went to many schools in many countries, so they did have diverse experiences.My stepdaughter still loves to travel and takes her children when she can. She and her husband plan to take a world cruise when they retire.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

@Ms tyrion2  If you've never had children, you cannot say that you regret the experience or don't regret the experience. That was my point.

I was speaking to people who understand all the sacrifices, etc.

Of course you can say that you are childfree and happy to be so but that isn't what this thread is about....

[wilma]

I have many medical issues and take too many medications to ever have children. I always knew that. If I was healthier then maybe things would have been different.

Some people have posted that without children their lives would be empty, or they would never know real love for another. That may be true for them, but I am sure I speak for many of us without children when I state that our lives can be just as fulfilling and loving. In addition, we can make countless sacrifices for others in our lives. Love for others is not limited to biological children. Just because we can't have children that does not mean we are obligated to adopt either. 

I know some people will say there is no love like the love for a child. I think comments like that perpetuate the slightly negative view that society still has toward childless couples and singles. 

[Plaid Pants2]

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@wilma wrote:

I have many medical issues and take too many medications to ever have children. I always knew that. If I was healthier then maybe things would have been different.

Some people have posted that without children their lives would be empty, or they would never know real love for another. That may be true for them, but I am sure I speak for many of us without children when I state that our lives can be just as fulfilling and loving. In addition, we can make countless sacrifices for others in our lives. Love for others is not limited to biological children. Just because we can't have children that does not mean we are obligated to adopt either. 

I know some people will say there is no love like the love for a child. I think comments like that perpetuate the slightly negative view that society still has toward childless couples and singles. 

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@wilma

I couldn't agree with you more!

When I was in my late 20's, one woman at worked asked me if I planned on having any kids.

I said that I didn't know, but if I did, that I would want to be married first.

She told me, "Well, you better hurry up before your biological clock runs out!"

Like my only job as a female is to propagate.

As it turned out, I never did have kids, but I don't think that my life is any less because I didn't.

Just because I don't have a tyke, doesn't mean that I don't show my love in other ways.

It just wasn't ment to be for me.

My life is just as full, just as rewarding as those who do have children.

My life is not "less than" because I don't have kids.

[stevieb]

I don't have children and I'd opt not to have them again, were there a second go-round...

[stevieb]

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@noodleann wrote:

Re the OP, I don't think it's reasonable to expect people to come out and say heck no, I wouldn't have had them. I recall an old Ann Landers column asking this very question, and 70% of her responses were negative. Even if things have improved, it's probably no better than 50%. I think that's a more realistic estimate of people's true feelings--not that anyone who's responded is lying, but most people are not going to weigh in and hazard the unpleasant feedback they're likely to get if they say no. 

A more interesting question, with less predictable answers, would be if you elected to not have kids (childfree by choice, not circumstance), would you do things differently if you could live that part of your life over again. 

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My answer would be the same. I'm child-free by choice and I'd remain child-free by choice...

[BExplorer]

I absolutely would do it all over again and can't imagine anyone sayIng they wouldn't.  My children are the best part of my life.  ❤️  Parenting is the most important job, and also the hardest.  

My condolences on your loss @AndrewsMom and to anyone else who has lost a child. 🌷

[Ms tyrion2]

Oh my. Obsession is such a sad way to live one's life.

Done with this insanity now.