Community Chat

[suzyQ3]

Although the subject line specified "people with children," I do understand that those who for whatever reason do not have children might want to weigh in. Threads are fluid, and I don't think any here are off-topic.

[jaxs mom]

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@Ms tyrion2 wrote:

I am also child free by choice. I think it's wonderful for people to want and have kids, but it was never something I wanted.

If you had kids and regret it, that is a sad thing. If you wanted kids and never had them, that is also a very sad thing. I've never once regretted  not having kids. My life is full to the brim  without them.

Despite what Jacaranda thinks, childless people have just as much voice in this thread as anyone else.

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Well the specific question asked in the OP was For People With Children if you could do it again. I'm not sure how that question applies to childless people.

I certainly wouldn't go into a thread asking if childless by choice people would make a different decision and post, oh I had kids and wouldn't do it differently. It has nothing to do with the topic. But obviously people are going to post whatever they want.

[saltysails]

Knowing what I know now, I would have one more. 

[GenXmuse]

I don't regret having kids but I wouldn't judge someone who said they did. I don't understand but I don't need to. 

[scatcat]

I respect women who choose not to have children. Parenting is a tough decades long job. I also don't think people have to defend their choice not to have kids, but often times they do. If I didn't have children I would not go on a thread that clearly states - for people with children.  I wouldn't answer a thread specifically targeted to NASCAR drivers. 

I do think the love parents have for their children is different than the love for a pet, nephew, grandfather etc. It just is. Probably b/c of the enormous responsibility that goes along with parenting. I would do it all over again in a heart beat 

[LilacTree]

I had four baby girls in four and one-half years.  I made the decision after the fourth one to have my tubes tied.  Had I not, I would probably have had eight children in a marriage that was over before it began.  I knew it would not last.

That doesn't change the fact that unless a woman has held her first newborn baby in her arms for the first time . . . or her fourth for the first time, she cannot imagine the love, so different from any other, the immediate knowledge that this is something she would give her own life for, without hesitation.

My youngest daughter does not have any children.  She has told me that sometimes she wonders what it would have been like, but she then acknowledges that she does not regret her decision.  She is an avid animal lover, she has three rescued kitties (and many before them), she is dedicated to all wildlife and the planet.  She has a busy, full life and is a kind and loving person.

I was born to be a mom, and she was born not to be a mom . . . we are all different with different paths to take.

[SisterGoldenHair]

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@jaxs mom wrote:

Can you even imagine being the child of a parent who if they could do it over would be "child free".  Ya, that must feel good. not 

And really if you're having kids because you want something from them, then you shouldn't have any. Their lives have a purpose that has nothing to do with their parents expectations. 

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@jaxs momWell Said

[suzyQ3]

Well, we were all asked whether we would do it again. If there is only one correct answer, then what would be the point of asking. I appreciate that everybody has a different "story," and I appreciate when others can be honest and express how they feel without being shamed.

[jaxs mom]

Their is no way you will convince me that children don't pick up on the fact that their parents wouldn't have had them if they could do it over.  And that is the true shame here. 

[suzyQ3]

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@jaxs mom wrote:

Their is no way you will convince me that children don't pick up on the fact that their parents wouldn't have had them if they could do it over.  And that is the true shame here. 

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No, @jaxs mom, I disagree. You're lumping people all together. There are myriad reasons that a parent may answer the question in the negative that don't necessarily have anything to do with emotional harm. And many a parent who would answer that she would do it all over again may not have always been a nominee for parent of the year.

You have no idea what is necessarily behind such an answer. Surely, it may be that some resented the whole thing and did affect their child adversely. But, heck, once again, some parents who preach the joy of having children have been known to affect their children just as badly. I can attest to that, having grown up in such a house.

But anyway, one could answer no for reasons that have nothing whatsoever to do with their love for their child or children.

Something tells me that you have you mind set on your opinion, that it is a black-and-white picture, and that's your prerogative. I just hope that anyone  who did say no here or who might be reading this thread with a no in mind doesn't take your comments to heart.