Re: For All Dealing With Relatives

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@Sooner wrote:
@jubilant wrote:
I have found that it is possible to keep your love for the difficult person but important to limit your exposure to them. I have a son I have not seen or spoken to in 6 years. It has probably been the most painful experience of my life....but it has taught me much.

Trying to mend things with difficult people who won't reconcile is impossible. It does nothing but bring even more pain into our lives. You can't reconcile when there is nothing to reconcile with. It takes two.

I love my son dearly and always will. I know in my heart that I did everything possible to keep the relationship going. There comes a time, however, when you say..."enough is enough" and let peace come back into your life. What's that old saying...."peace, at any price, is not peace".

While my faith requires me to do my best, I can't change another person. What I found I can do (with God's help), is retain that peace in my life.
@jubilant I understand exactly what you are talking about. It's like I read never argue with a narcissist because you'll never win.

And there are things you can't control or change and you deal as best you can, and a prayer and a willing spirit.

@Sooner I agree that a prayer and a willing spirit are so important. The very last time I talked to him I told him there was nothing he could say to me that would ever stop my love for him so, at least I got that in before we parted ways.

Kitty Galore · ‎03-16-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
If you are dealing with relatives today, have bad relations, have a hurt heart, have a hard time holding your tongue--you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I send you peace and good wishes and know that you are not alone! Just hold that thought, have faith, do as best you can and carry on!

@Sooner

Your post reminds me of the saying "You can pick your family, but you can't pick your relatives".

Actually mine was" you can pick your friends , but your stuck with your family " lol

Kitty Galore · ‎03-16-2010

I'd love it if all family members were like my dear friends , a few just aren't . One in particular is what I refer to as Toxic . I limit my time with her , don't need the stress . Everyone in my family pretty much does. My sweet SIL refers to her as a pita lol !

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

I handle the relative problem by staying away from them...has worked really well for the past 15+ years.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
I handle the relative problem by staying away from

@Mom2Dogs Good idea. Then often they are the ones who you never hear from and when they do call all sweetie sweetie they want something.

Trailrun23 · ‎05-31-2022

I learned many years ago that you cannot have a relationship of any kind with someone who doesn't want one...relatives included. They know where I am, now to contact me, and the ball is in their court since all of my attempts to reach out are ignored. It's all you can do, and pray.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

All we can do is to be kind to ourselves....

Which, in turn, will attract good people into our lives.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

layla2450 · ‎10-02-2021

I don't have ANY negative issues or BAD relations with my family.

"There are no ordinary cats" ~ Colette

katie1859 · ‎06-25-2022

I want to thank all of you who shared, it's authentic and genuine, and it's helped me as I've read your responses.
Prodigal children who are adults. It's quite painful yet it remains a mystery. I can't relate with any other sore relational issue, but having raised 5 alone, and they have no sense of connection as family or love. I'm in the process of letting go of what more I can do over not wanting anymore pain. No drugs, no alcohol, no abuse, but somehow they all live in this sense that the world owes them. So as many of you have shared, you choose peace. Faith, peace, and gratitude for life. That's my walk.