Community Chat

[beach-mom]

The couple is requesting 2 hours of volunteer service instead of wedding gifts. Anyone working longer will be paid $25/hour.

They are asking for help with the following:   cleaning the house, preparing food, setting up tables and chairs, decorating, arranging flowers, parking cars, driving the shuttle, lifeguarding at the pool and hot tub, transferring food from freezers to buffet tables, being in charge of playlist after live musicians are finished playing, tending the fires, taking photos and videos, and cleaning up the day after the reception.

 They have also asked each wedding guest who can't volunteer to "contribute" $50 to cover the cost of expenses.

I read about this online. Here's what I think. It seems this couple wants their guests to pay for their wedding one way or another. So at first I thought "no way." I mean it's one thing to ask a few good friends to help out, especially if it's a smaller wedding. I wouldn't mind that. But this one doesn't seem like a smaller wedding. When they asked the guests who couldn't help for some reason to "contribute" $50, I thought if we were invited to something like that we wouldn't go! 

[haddon9]

Basically putting your guests to work....no thanks!

[JudyL]

No way would I go!   

[rms1954]

What an unexpected odd thing to do

[Donna2019]

@beach-mom - Wow, I wouldn't go either, this couple is not letting their friends/family enjoy their wedding day, instead they want them to work for them at their wedding, and to boot if you don't want to work for them they want you to help pay for those that did. 

IMO I think it's as tacky as having a destination wedding where people are expected to attend at a huge cost - flight, hotel, etc.

From one extreme to another.

Don't understand what's up with all these new trends.

[kate2357]

I think people spend too much on weddings and put too much emphasis on having the big white wedding with all the hoopla. If you want that sort of wedding, then spend your money on it and don't ask invited "guests" to help pay for your wedding.,

If I was sent an invitation like the op described, I would send a $50 gift card and decline to attend due to a prior obligation.

[beach-mom]

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@Donna2019 wrote:

@beach-mom - Wow, I wouldn't go either, this couple is not letting their friends/family enjoy their wedding day, instead they want them to work for them at their wedding, and to boot if you don't want to work for them they want you to help pay for those that did. 

IMO I think it's as tacky as having a destination wedding where people are expected to attend at a huge cost - flight, hotel, etc.

From one extreme to another.

Don't understand what's up with all these new trends.

---

@Donna2019 - ITA! I'm not crazy about them! 

[ManyMeows]

🙉 . . . . My first thought, before reading the post, was that they were requesting guests for two hour of their time volunteering for a legitimate organization, as a rescue shelter, Wheel on Meals, local soup kitchen, women's shelter, or the like. 

But what they are asking is absolutely ridiculous. The first time my Mom received a wedding invitation with an enclosed copy of a list of requested wedding gifts, she was in shock. My Mom and Dad were both children of immigrant parents who came here with nothing and worked hard and saved for whatever they needed. My Mom told me that they would NEVER request a specific gift from anyone. They were grateful for any gift recieved, and if someone couldn't afford a gift, they wanted them there regardless.

Seriously, who started this nonsense? Take whatever you get and be grateful.

And when did it become acceptable not to send out a thank you note?

[spumoni99]

If the bride and groom nor their parents can afford a wedding they shouldn' have a wedding like this. Where are the parents in this, aren't they advising?  We are planning my daughters wedding right now and me and her aunt, my sister are doing a lot of advising.

[Kachina624]

Just when you think you've heard it all, someone comes up with some new off-the-wall scheme for a wedding or shower.

If you can't afford a big party, have a small intimate occasion or even better...elope.  Spare us traditionalists the trauma of these wild events.