Community Chat

[QVCkitty1]

I got a letter today from a cousin that I don't usually communicate with. She did an Ancestry DNA test and to make a long story short she found a man who was a child that our aunt gave up for adoption. This was a shock to my cousin, not so much to me because my parents had their suspicions but no actual details. I guess there are no secrets anymore. I know it can be wonderful for children looking for their biological parents , but though my aunt is long dead, I feel kind of bad that her life is now an open book. Have any of you been surprised by an Ancestry search ? 

[suziebee1]

I did that Ancestry test, but only to see my background.  I did not check the boxes to release my info for relatives to find me or for me to search for relatives.  I don't need to know what I don't already know.  I know a person who was contacted by a distant relative, and it turned into a nightmare for her.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

not yet for me but my DH has dug up several relatives that he's been keeping in touch with. Most of them live abroad, in Europe, and we even met a few that were coming through our area and we had a nice visit with.

[Imaoldhippie]

So far no secrets but I have recently connected with more relatives, probably 2nd, 3rd cousins.  Funny thing is they said as kids they were always  told there were horse theives in the family and I grew up hearing the same story.  Where there is smoke there is fire??!!

[ECBG]

I am so sorry for any sadness your family has had over this situation.

We haven't had any "family secrets" that I know of.  

[Laura14]

I warned my mother before I did 23and Me. I told her to spill any secrets now or I would see her on Judge Judy for damages. I got back a text of Darth Vadar claiming he was my father.

The only interesting thing that came up is supposedly I have a Irish cousin that my great grandfather fathered. Not possible since we are all Italian. Either he had a great time on St. Patrick's Day, which was not done back in the day especially by Italians, or the geneology isn't as precise as it could be.

I know they have a cousin I do know listed as my first cousin because we share so much DNA. We are actually second. It's a work in progress. Think what they'll accomplish after all of us are gone. I'm sure they'll be reconstructing exactly what we looked like for any future relatives to come along with a link to all of our archived social media posts.   

[Carmie]

No, I don't think we have any surprises or secrets in our family.

I know that my maternal grandfather's brother took off and was never seen or heard from again when his family did not approve of women he wanted to marry.  I wonder if he started a life elsewhere or maybe committed suicide.  It's a mystery.

i had a friend who was old enough to be my mother.  She had a twin sister who had an affair with a man in her neighborhood and he fathered a son with her.  She also had five children with her husband.

This has been a secret for years. No one alive knows except for me.  My friend and her twin have since passed away.  My friend asked me to not tell anyone, unless it would be a emergency situation.

I worry that this secret will be found out through DNA and devastate this man.  He looks so different than his siblings, I would not be surprised if the family doesn't suspect something is off here.

[DrKelli]

Sort of--I had a second cousin (unknown to the family--he was put up for adoption) contact me.  I figured out who fathered him because we shared great grandparents.  He was nice enough and hasn't contacted me since.

There is a 1st cousin that I am curious about because their profile is hidden on Ancestry--I know all my first cousins and don't think this is any of them.  But it is what it is.  DNA technology has revealed a lot of family secrets, that's for sure.

[withaK]

Only one......my mother's mother died when she was young and her father remarried well before my Mom got married. Her step-mother was the only grandmother we knew and when we kids found out she's a step-grandmother it explained alot of tension thru the years and how she kind of disliked us kids.

DH's had an uncle that carried on a decades long affair with a woman. Once a year they would go away and my fil (his brother) would "go away to an army/navy game" with him : just two brothers going away for a few days. DH found out when he was a teenager and sworn to secrecy. Because its a crazy world we live in I went to a bakery to order a cake and the woman behind the counter asked about my last name (I was married) and I told her when she asked that X was my uncle by marriage, that Y was my fil . She very nicely took a few dollars off the bill and said "Tell your Uncle that C says hello". I said I will....told DH what happened and what a nice lady to do that ! He told me it was probably the lady he used to work with at XYZ Corp and had a longstanding affair with....it ended when he and his wife moved out of state. Ad that I was to never repeat this story !!!  Its over twenty years ago and the principals have passed on. I think its ok now !

I would like to do an ancestry test...there is a rumor that we have Native American blood. I'd like to know if its true and what tribe we are affiliated with.

[jackthebear]

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@QVCkitty1 wrote:

I got a letter today from a cousin that I don't usually communicate with. She did an Ancestry DNA test and to make a long story short she found a man who was a child that our aunt gave up for adoption. This was a shock to my cousin, not so much to me because my parents had their suspicions but no actual details. I guess there are no secrets anymore. I know it can be wonderful for children looking for their biological parents , but though my aunt is long dead, I feel kind of bad that her life is now an open book. Have any of you been surprised by an Ancestry search ? 

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nope 

I read way too much Dear Abby on this subject