Community Chat

[NYC Susan]

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@Jordan2 wrote:

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@sunshine45 wrote:

not everyone is on facebook daily.

not everyone has the time to check on everything that may be posted to their page.

not everyone may LIKE what you post to their page.

i have found that if someone posts something to my page and i dont like it, i do not respond or i may even delete it. believe me, it has happened a number of times, especially in this past year and a half or so.

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@sunshine45, my nieces and nephew live on social media, I am sure they check their Facebook page often. I don't always agree with something someone posts on my page, but I feel that by liking it, I let them know I have read it.

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"Liking" it means you like it.  Maybe they don't like what you post as much as you think they do.  And being on social media all the time doesn't mean they reply to everything they read.  In fact, if they're that entrenched, they probably don't acknowledge or reply a lot because they're spending most of the time reading.

I've also noticed that some people "like" or "love" everything, and others rarely hit any of those buttons.  It's an individual thing.

I don't "like" things if I don't like them.  For me, it's not an acknowledgement that I've read it.  It's an indication that I liked it, and I certainly don't like everything that people post.

[sfnative]

Hi Jordan,

The first thing that popped into my head was, "Facebook is a monster."

Last week I read an entire article regarding the incredibly negative effect it's having on the international cultures.  Not just our culture.  In every culture where the internet and Facebook thrive.

I can only tell you this from years of experience in the real vice the ethernet world.  Some people are simply rude.  Some people's lives revolve around themselves to such an extent that they rarely make time for the "intrusion" of others' thoughts or input.  Some people live with a "black cloud" over their heads, exuding nasty vibes to all who come near.  Some people are just evil.  And, finally, some people are mentally ill and/or incapable of sympathizing let alone empathizing with one's feelings or statements.

Perhaps it's time for you to take a break from those who are not interested.  Have you given some thought to joining some FB groups or just one group, where you could make some internet friends?  I've done that and it's loads of fun.  XXX

[NYC Susan]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@Jordan2 wrote:

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@tansy wrote:

It may depend on how often you post something, @Jordan2.  

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@tansy, I don't think I do it that often. This is usually my sister and her adult children, I'll give information, video clips, things of that nature. I am Facebook friends with a friend of my sister's and she's nicer to me then my own blood is!

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Maybe your friend has a whole lot of time that your sister with kids doesn't have.  I simply wouldn't post much at all if you expect someone to have time for everything that pops up.  In today's world, that's a big chunk of time that many people simply don't have.

I also wouldn't be hurt if they don't respond.  You post it for them to enjoy, and not just to get a response, so just let it go at that and assume they saw it.

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Good advice!  Don't set yourself up to be hurt/disappointed by making this more than it is.  It's better to just share something you think they might like, leave it at that, and not be overly invested in a result that most likely doesn't mean very much anyway.

[NYC Susan]

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@SurferWife wrote:

I deactivated my Facebook a little over a month ago, and have not missed it one bit.  What started out as a fun way to keep in touch with friends thousands of miles away has become a distraction in my life that I don't need.  Just yesterday, apparently one of my friends (a lifelong childhood friend...besties in middle & HS) noticed I'm no longer on Facebook and sent me a text..."what happened to you?"...not "hello, how are you doing?" (or something along those lines) I thought to myself, is this what it has come to?  Friends are more concerned about your Facebook whereabouts than to simply ask how you're doing?  I texted her back and said nothing happened to me.  I simply deactivated my Facebook account because I'm tired of all the BS. Interestingly I received no further response from her.  That just confirmed in my mind that I made the right decision to bounce.

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Those are YOUR friends.  If your friends were posting "BS" and didn't care about how you were doing, that's not the fault of Facebook.  It's the fault of the people you chose to be friends with there.  Facebook doesn't tell people what to post or how to treat each other.

I totally understand that FB is not for everyone.  I love it, others hate it.  That's fine.  But FB gets a bad name when people malign it in this kind of way.  I agree that you made the right decision to bounce because clearly it's not for you.  But you've posted very negatively about FB many times when the real issue is your friends, not FB itself.

[september]

I wouldn't read too much into this.  I'm not on Facebook much anymore....prefer Instagram.  But even with Instagram....you just never know who is going to be checking out what you post, when you post.

Some days, I feel like I post some great pics and it seems no one sees them (likes them).  Then I randomly post something so so, and it gets seen and liked in ways I didn't expect.

On Facebook, I've rarely posted on someone else's page, unless they asked for feedback.  

[Plaid Pants2]

I've sent stories to my FB friends that I thought that they might enjoy.

After that, I don't give it any thought.

I don't sit at my computer and worry if they are going to "Like" it, or respond to it.

That is just asking too much from people.

If they like it, or "Like" it, fine, but I don't take it as a personal insult if they don't respond or "Like" it, and I suggest that you don't take it as a personal insult either.

Conversely, just because someone sends me something doesn't mean that I am going to respond with a comment or a "Like".

Life is too short for me to waste my time sitting at my computer and responding to every item that is on my page.

If others have a problem with that, well that's on them, not me.

[jeanlake]

I'm not sure there is Facebook etiquette. You've got your reasonable and cranky people. Kinda like forums?  

[on the bay]

@Jordan2-

I could so relate to your post.

I got on facebook at the persuasion of my daughters.

I would complain to my daughter that weren't people supposed to respond? I mean I responded to people's posts who asked me to be friends.

She said, mom, thats not how facebook works.

I just found it kind of rude and so self-serving for many people. Not a back and forth response thing at all for many but more of a "like my posts, accumulate as many "friends" as possible and oh btw I don't have time to respond to others" 

or something like that.

Yes I find it rude and I guess I expected the same type of responses that you would have from an email or text. I thought it was rude and a thoughtless way of communicating.

Some people would post something and have lots of many kind and thoughtful responses and never acknowledge that they even saw them or only respond to one person-that is rude!

Some people-mostly close friends and family of course would always respond with each other but many didn't. I just didn't get it.

I never posted things on other's pages, only my own. I had that part that I had to approve it. I guess I might not like it if people put things on my timeline. I think you should put it on your page and let them see it there. You can make it to their attention.

There are many positive things about it but many annoying things too that can overtake the positive and thats when its time to re-evaluate how to spend our time and relationships, as I think many are doing.

[Ms tyrion2]

I am more a reader of Facebook than a poster. 

I like some things and ignore others. Rarely, I comment.

I never felt it was necessary to respond to everything people post. I never considered it the same thing as E Mail.

It works just fine for me.

[Moonchilde]

It depends on how much/how often you do this. I have Unfollowed FB Friends who posted nothing but memes, jokes, videos, etc or nothing but politics, and never anything personal about themselves. I have a relative I love dearly who posts 95% garbage and clickbait.

I have stopped following people who never, ever give a Like or say a word about anything I post currently, when they had previously been doing so right along.

I have also cut what I share in half. Others don’t like everything I like or think everything is funny that I do.

That said, the few times I share something with someone on their page, I get acknowledgements most of the time, unless someone just isn’t on FB for a few days and didn’t see it; it’s easy to miss posts in FB.